And now for something completely different. It was strange to hear supermodel Lydia Hearst -- of those Hearsts -- on the Howard Stern show this morning. But there she was, in what could only be construed of as the satellite radio equivalent of an illegal den of poker playing, discussing masturbation, her first sexual experience, her mother's kidnapping and, her new beau, how much she's worth and the other topics that Howard usually zeroes in on with his unorthodox interview technique. It really was surreal to hear a man who makes $80 million a year discussing trust funds with an heiress of the Hearst family ("The will we have in the family," said Lydia. "They study it in law school.") Some takeaways from Marksfriggin:
"Howard asked Lydia if she was freaked out by what her mother did. She said that she was pardoned when she was in 8th grade so she doesn't think that much about it.
Howard asked Lydia if she can talk to her mother about that kind of stuff because he knows he can't talk to his dad about some stuff. Lydia said she talks to her parents about everything like 8 times a day. She said that she has no problem talking to them about anything. She said they're very close and she was with them out in Los Angeles.
"... Howard asked if she hangs out with Paris Hilton or anyone like that. She said she doesn't but she admires what she's done with her career. She said that Paris is having her 15 minutes of fame and it's lasting. Howard asked if she's a good role model for her. Lydia said she will never make a sex tape like Paris did.
"Howard asked Lydia if she's in love right now. She said 'maybe.' Howard asked who the guy is. She said it's someone she's known for a while. Howard told her to make sure she gets a pre-nup. Howard asked if her parents have told her this. She said she would have a pre-nup if she got married. Lydia said she knows you need one in this day and age.
"..Howard asked if she ever got obsessed with masturbation. She said that she has never done that. She swore to god that she had never done it. Howard said that she had to be curious about what it would feel like. She said she never even thought about doing it and wasn't interested at all.
"Howard figured she was just embarrassed by this and wasn't telling the truth. She said that it was embarrassing. Howard asked if she had ever tried smoking pot. She said that she had tried that. She was embarrassed that she had. Howard asked her why she never tried masturbating, he didn't understand that. She was too embarrassed to talk about it. Artie pointed out that her mother robbed a bank so she shouldn't be embarrassed.
"..Lydia said her friends talk about it and she just never got into it. She said she was a Connecticut girl and not one of those 'city sluts.'"
And so on. When last we saw Hearst she was turned away at the door of Paper magazine's Beautiful People party in April, later sneaking in through the back entrance at Hiro.