Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Is Helena Christensen A Jinx?

What kind of wicked game is former supermodel Helena Christensen playing? Unfortunate things, we cannot fail to note, have happened to many of the fortunate few that have *allegedly* dated Helena Christensen. The obscenely gorgeous so-called "Danish pastry (Averted Gaze)" allegedly dated Heath Ledger (although she denies it). Ledger, to be sure, suffered an untimely end. Christensen told reporters at the time, "I am just beyond sad at this point, and shocked. I was on my way over to pay him a visit when I found out." Sean Penn, whom also Helena denies having dated, is either rehabbing or taking time off his red-hot career to work on his marriage. What gives?

Exhibit B, ladies and gentlemen of the jury -- Christensen lived with Michael Hutchence of INXS after he broke off his relationship Kylie Minogue. He, too, suffered an early end (He had, one assumes, the devil inside).

Finally, your Honor, The Corsair humby submits the career of Chris Issak. Irrefutable evidence! Stillborn, your honor, murder most foul. That unfortunate bastard.

In conclusion -- my argument having been made -- this blogger would gladly brave the levelling blade of Death's furious scythe for a chance to lay upon the ample bosom of Helena Christensen. Because, goddam, this woman moves us profoundly. Seriously, Helena: call me?

We rest our case, your honor.

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