Howard Stern Stalks Limo Lou Dobbs



(image via nndb)

"Like a dog in heat/
A freak without warning/
Got an appetite for love/
Caue. Me. So. Horny."
--2 Live Crew

Man-crushes just seem unnatural, but even more so when those "urges" are edified behind the shield of one's limo. The cryptoracist Dobbs playes the coltish Andy McDowell to Howard Stern's St. Elmo's Fire-ish Andrew McCarthy ("Dale: Kirby! How are you?; Kirby: I'm obsessed thank you very much. We found it oddly fascinating and simultaneously mega-creepy on a cosmic scale to hear Howard Stern -- a man's man by way of Long Island -- talk about staring at CNN's resident crypto-racist, Lou Dobbs from the plush interior of his limo, behind the tinted glass. The staring went on a bit too long; a bit too long (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). After about five minutes it kind of creeped us the fuck out.

Like: Why is Howard Stern eyeraping Lou Dobbs? From Marksfriggin:

"Howard changed subjects and said he had an appointment yesterday and he had about 15 minutes free with Beth in the car. He saw Lou Dobbs outside of the CNN building while he was waiting. He thought it was kind of cool to see him out there. He told Beth about him and noticed that he was smoking a cigarette which changed his opinion of him. He said that always happens when he sees someone like that smoking.

"Howard said Dobbs was talking to some guy and it seemed like he was waiting for people to recognize him. Artie said that's great that Howard was sitting there staring at him and he didn't even realize it ..."

*The Corsair shudders*

".. Howard said he watched Dobbs smoking cigarette after cigarette and smoking. He said within 15 minutes he went through 5 cigarettes in a row. He said that Dobbs and this other guy were talking and he figured that he was watching Dobbs killing himself. Beth said that they must not be able to smoke in the building like so many buildings in the city.

"Howard was shocked at how many cigarettes that he smoked in that short period of time. He said Dobbs seems to like when people stop to say hi to him. He was actually sticking his hand out to shake people's hands. They were fascinated sitting there watching the guy."

In the next act, Stern trespasses on the Lou Dobbs estate in Jersey with duct tape and chloroform claiming that the crypto-racist "wanted to be raped."