Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Is Hugh Grant A "Him-Bo"?

Portrait of the hustler as a drunk man. (image via dailymail)

Previously, when thinking of the superlative example of robust manwhorishness, one thought of Tommy Lee. Consummate man-whore, he; Brobdingnagian is his man-skank. Tommy Lee lives a seedy, gritty rock star existence on the margins of propriety in Los Angeles. He DJs and gets BJs; Tommy Lee is the epitome of what it is to be a "Himbo." Then came this item from Page Six:

"HUGH Grant likes flirting with women two at a time. Grant who's in town filming 'Did You Hear About the Morgans?' was at Beatrice Inn Friday night. 'He could barely keep his eyes open,' said our spy. But he was awake enough to entertain two women 'a brunette and a blonde,' said the snitch. 'He would make out with one girl, then turn to the other.' Grant's rep confirmed he was there but told us, 'There was no kissing. This is complete rubbish.'"

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we present the following arguments: a) Hugh Grant was one-half of one of the oiliest arriviste grifter duos ever to attempt to conquer Hollywood, the Hugh Grant-Liz Hurley Project (tm; Hurley has since found other rich suckers to part from their money); b) Hugh Grant, for a while, man-whored his goods with billion-heiress Jemima Khan; c) Hugh Grant was arrested for soliciting sex from "Divine Brown," a street prostitute; and, d) Hugh's intercontinental sexcapades are well-chronicled.

Hugh, like, Lee, possibly has real sex behavioral issues that may need to be addressed by someone in the psychiatric profession. But Hugh, unlike Lee, seems -- at least from this vantage point -- as being cunningly conscious of his actions (maybe its just the British accent?). Tommy Lee, by contrast, is just a slightly higher-evolved Chimpanzee, a Chimp-man-zee, if you will (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Hugh, unlike Lee, does not gravitate towards the porn-stars -- at least not in the harsh light of day -- but rather calculates his sex-lures, plies his love wares against over-protected socialites and celebutards that could elevate him from the bottom rung of the show business ladder he presently occupies (Averted Gaze).

Is Hugh Grant a "himbo," "Man-Whore"? We say: Yes.

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