Howard Stern Versus Richard Belzer, Take 2



(image via fetchdog.com)

The "feud" between longtime friends Howard Stern and Richard Belzer reached a strange, anticlimactic conclusion this morning on The Howard Stern Show on Sirius radio. Belzer, who appeared on the show years before it became nationally popular, even claimed once that he got his job on Dick Wolf's Law & Order franchise after producers heard him on the Howard Stern Show, which was --- and still is -- tremendously popular in LA.


How did the feud begin? If you'll remember, the famously conspiratorial "Law and Order" actor, Belzer, abruptly pulled out of the North Shore Animal Leagues "Dogcatemy" Awards at the last minute. Howard Stern, who attended the event (Stern's wife is a big supporter of the organization), attacked Belzer on his radio show for being too big to live up to his commitments. The Belz -- who is a longtime friend of the show came in to explain himself. From Marksfriggin:

"Howard had the guys bring in Richard Belzer who was all fired up when he came walking in. Belzer asked Howard if he knows that the most important thing to him is saving animals. Howard said he doesn't know that. Howard had Belzer blow his nose before he went on because he was stuffed up. Belzer did that and joked that $400 just went into that tissue.

"Belzer said that he would have called Howard up if he had done what he did with that event. Belzer said that he really was sick that day and he was shitting and puking blood. Belzer said he thought he could make it to the event that day so that's why he waited until 15 minutes before the show started to pull out.

"Howard said he was going to be honest with him. He said he went to the charity event and this was the third year in a row that a celebrity did this. Last year it was Sam Champion who canceled. He did it 2 days before the even though.

"...He said Howard was out of line but Howard said Belzer was out of line. Belzer said he wouldn't have made this up just to get out of doing the event.

"Howard told Belzer that he thinks that Belzer was tired from doing shows and he pulled this shenanigans to get out of doing more work. Belzer said he was telling the truth and he was sick. Howard said he's not telling the truth."

And so they hooked him up to an actual lie detector, administered by "celebrity lie detector" Ed Torrian. More:

"Belzer eventually calmed down so Ed got into the questions. Howard asked Ed to ask him if he was sick the night of the North Shore Animal league event. Belzer said yes. Howard had him ask him if he was bleeding from his ass the night of that event. Ed asked but Belzer started to laugh. Howard had Ed ask if he was too sick to perform the night of that event. Belzer said yes. Howard asked if he was bleeding from his ass that night. Belzer said yes.

"Howard had Ed ask if he knew that morning that he wouldn't be able to do that charity event. Belzer said no. They asked Belzer if he called 15 minutes before the event to cancel. Belzer said no. Howard asked if he's ever downed a kitten. Belzer laughed ...

".. Howard asked Belzer if he would have sex with Obama. He said yes. Belzer was asked if he likes being Jewish. Belzer just laughed. Belzer told Howard to ask him if he was gay. Howard asked that but they were done with the test by then.

"Howard asked Ed if Belzer was lying about the question about being sick that night of the event. Ed said that he failed that one. Howard thought that was funny. Belzer said 'fuck you...' Howard said they asked him if he was too sick to perform, he flunked that one as well."

Then something rather interesting happened. A killer radio moment. Belzer asked Howard to go to commercial, he wanted to tell him something off the air that would explain why he missed the charity event. Howard asked Robin if they should go to break and she agreed and the tension was palpable. It was all very cryptic. Then, they returned and everything changed:

"After the break Howard said he had to apologize to Belzer because he gave him a doctor's note during the break. Howard said that Belzer is making him the asshole now. He said that he feels like a giant asshole now. Belzer said that he really isn't, he just went with his instinct.

"Howard said that Belzer really was sick from what he told him. He said that he's fine now though. Robin asked what was going on but Belzer wanted to leave it at what they had already said."

Stern actually announced coming off of break, "Richard really was not feeling well. I feel like a giant asshole..." Belzer will be on The Daily Show tonight. Maybe Jon Stewart can crack that cookie. No word on what the mystery illness was -- or if there even was one. We wonder what Belzer told Howard off the air and why it was so personal. All Howard would say when a caller asked is that it was "personal" and legitimate as an excuse. He told the caller to "trust (him) on this one."

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