A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via upenn)

In: Shari Redstone. All eyes were on Shari Redstone, a lone voice in the digital wilderness, as she spoke against "Cubaning." And that might not bode well for her future at Viacom. Still, Redstone makes an interesting -- if very Old Media -- argument. Ought the window to be shrunk between the theaters and the DVD distribution date? From HollywoodReporter:

"In a rare investor conference appearance, Shari Redstone, president of National Amusements and vice chairman of CBS Corp. and Viacom Inc., spoke out Wednesday against the collapse of film release windows.'Shrinking windows is bad for business, and I mean everybody's business,' she said at the Bank of America Media, Telecommunications and Entertainment Conference.

"With father Sumner -- chairman and controlling shareholder of CBS and Viacom as well as NA -- watching from a front-row seat, Shari Redstone said she would prefer to go back to the old window of six to seven months between the theatrical and DVD release, at least for some films. She said movie studios are looking at maybe having four-month windows for films targeting younger, less patient audiences, and six- to seven-month windows for older-skewing fare.'Movies are meant to be seen in the theater,' and exhibitors must focus on further improving the theatergoing experience and bringing the 'wow factor'" back to it, she said."

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Out: Christian Slater. Remember when Christian Slater was a Young Hollywood Youth -- taking the town by storm -- brimming with potential? He starred opposite Sean Connery in the immensely enjoyable "Name of the Rose." Even when, in his teen years, he basically impersonated Jack Nicholson, he was interesting.

No he's just sad.

After the chicken pox, the Nixon maskGate, the playing grab-ass with an elderly woman (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), comes a new indignity, the lowest rung on the food chain, namely:-- a British Reality "star," from the 3AMGirls:

"SERIAL lothario Christian Slater is up to his old tricks again. This time the Hollywood hunk has snared reality TV "star' Jasmine Lennard.

"The pair were all over each other at the opening night of his West End play, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, on Tuesday.

"At one point in the drama, Christian, 36 - who returns to the role of Randle P McMurphy following his successful run in 2004/5 - strips off. Which certainly sent 20-year-old Jasmine's pulse racing.

"'There's nothing better than Christian in his underpants,' gushed Jasmine, one of the contestants in Five's Make Me A Supermodel."

Charmed, I'm sure.



(schematics via FishbowlNY)

In: Lunch at Michael's. We are not entirely unlike Whitney Houston. She likes her crack infused with niacin while we, dear reader, are media crack addicts. (A considerable pause) Nothing says crack addict more than the savage concavity of one's butt-cheeks (Or, rather, the deficit of ass); and nothing -- stay with me -- says Media crack addict more than our fascination at who is sitting with whom at Michael's, the midtown Chattering Class watering hole (tm).

Yesterday was a veritable Bonfire of the Vanities. Unlimited Power. From FishbowlNY:

"4: CNN's Jeff Greenfield looking casual after he stood and took off his tie, Tom Brokaw looking relaxed in a jacket and slacks, and two other handsome gents, all under the big potted plant (which shades the other big table).

"5: Regis Philbin with Roni Selig.

6: Former CBS News chief Andrew Heyward, looking very healthy sans moustache, CBSNews.com senior VP and president of business development Betsy Morgan, looking very nice as always, with someone else we didn't recognize, but who happily greeted Greenfield with Hayward when the CNN senior analyst went over to say 'hi.'

"... 8: New York social scene chronicler David Patrick Columbia with the Observer's Choire Sicha.

"... 18: Was that Court TV chairman and CEO Henry S. Schleiff with Kerry Kennedy, former spouse of Cuomo's son Andrew? "

Well, if it was that would be interesting as the adorable Laurel Touby wrote, "Right behind us, Mario Cuomo (yes that Cuomo) had a real power lunch, while former daughter-in-law Kerry Kennedy (yes, that Kennedy) nibbled just feet away."

That, true believer, the problem with the incestuous nature of New York Power. (Averted Gaze) If you haven't fucked someone, you've been their son and daughter-in-law and then, like clockwork, been involved in a scandal that played out on the most-excellent Page Six. The final indignity, of course, is having to digest one's meal a table away from your arch-nemesis at Michael's.

God, it sucks to be powerful. More media crack here.



(image via timeinc)

Out: African Dictor Chic. Is this the end of the African Tyrant? A single membrane-red thread -- Tyranny -- has connected all the disparate parts of The Corsair's multi-storied life. We were born an Ambassador's son in Amin's Uganda. We emigrated to London, Paris, Canada, and, finally, Manhattan. We attended the UN School, an institution steeped in the traditions of internationalism and freedom. In college we studied Ancient Greek with a not insignificant concentration of the Oedipus Tyrannus Trilogy, perhaps the deepest analysis of tyrannical regimes the West -- or anywhere else -- has ever produced.

That's why we were overjoyed to hear that Charles Taylor is en route to a inconvenient jail cell in The Hague to face International Law. One can almost hear taylor protesting, "International Law? What the fuck is that?" For all that has been said -- usually from the Left -- of the invasion of Iraq, emigrees like The Corsair will never shed a tear for the incarceration of Sadaam Hussein. Tyrants are the lowest human lifeform (How symbolic was the infamous "spiderhole?"), the emdodying the planetary plague of Fiery Ambition devoid of Principle.

In trying Charles Taylor and humiliating him -- like Hussein -- we send a message to the next would-be Tyrant, the luckless war orphan in a Third World country, learning, sadly, at the school of the Kalashnikov and not UNIS that "It's all about Power." (Averted Gaze; a look of withering contempt)

It is not all about power, otherwise Africa would be in a better position vis a vis the world. The power accrued by an individual and his tribal cronies is power taken from the populace at large. The Belgian Chateaus, the SUVs, the cases of Johnny Walker liquor that are de rigeur for the African dictator come from international aid that would otherwise used for, say, a school that teaches things like Oedipus Tyrannus, Quantum Theory, and the Art of African Masks. But the capture of Taylor and the prospect of an entertaining trial alights the otherwise gloomy global stage -- and, especially the dark continent of Africa -- with the possbility that African Dictator Chic has in its Final Act. Dictator, Exit Stage Left. (Averted Gaze)



(image via industrymagazine)

In: Denise Vasi. Is this the new woman in Russell Simmons' life? Do we no longer have the disgustingly shallow Kimora Lee Simmons to kick around? According to SOHH:

"Speculation has been going around for months about the possible split of hip-hop�s power couple Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons. In the upcoming issue of Us Weekly an insider tells the magazine that the end is near for the pair. Who�s the new lady in town? Twenty-three year old model Denise Vasi has allegedly been spending time with Russell enjoying the relaxation of yoga. Riiiight. . . "



(image via xanga)

Out: The Tori Spelling Tattoo. New oxygen has been infused into the nearly extinguished Tori Spelling tatoo debate. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Just when you thought it had passed away, it comes back -- in triplicate! That's right: There isn't just one Tori tat, there are three. And we will refrain from guessing what nether regions those tatoos inhabit. (Averted Gaze) On The extraordinarily buzzy Howard Stern Show this morning this was revealed. According to Marksfriggin:

"Richard Christy came in and said that he thinks that (Tori Spelling's) boyfriend made a big mistake. He read that the guy got a tattoo of her face and some lines about how in love he is with her. Tori said that it's actually 3 tattoos and they're all over his body. Tori doesn't think that's so outrageous. She seems to be flattered by the whole thing. Howard said that guy's wife must be freaking out that he didn't do that for her. Tori said that his wife wouldn't let him get tattoos so Tori told him she loves tattoos and he should get them if he wants."

Considering that after the inevitable divorce Mr. Spelling will have to undergo hours of painful laser-removal surgery, we suggest he ixnae on any more atootaes. Dig?



(image via corante)

In: Club CNN. Washington is, as the old cliche goes, Hollywood for Ugly people. (Averted Gaze) Well, not ugly per se, just less tan. So you can imagine a Embassy Row party is not exactly like a Hollywood party. For example, in Hollywood they don't mention your law school class ("Yale '78; charned, I'm sure") along the introductions. The hair is not as big in Tinseltown; the "casting cough" does not involve Senior Senators on the Finance Committee.

Ones looks and not whether or not they made the Law Review at Harvard matter deeply in Beverly Hills. Another subtle class indicator in the land of the pale and bespectacled attorneys is The Afterparties. For last night's Radio-Television Correspondents Association. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) The bottom feeder at the afterparties is definitely the oily Ron Silver. (Averted Gaze) At the top of the food chain, on the other hand, is: "Club CNN," which made a strong showing in a space usually reserved for the superiority of Fox TV. According to FishbowlDC:

"The after-party scene was radically different this year too. Normally Fox and CNN attempt to beat each other with the after-parties, but this year Fox, which was the target of serveral jokes through the night, left the Hilton to CNN and ushered its chosen guests off to an secret off-site after-party. The Eyebar soiree was a mixed success--perhaps a little bit too exclusive.

"CNN's 'Club CNN' theme ended up with a packed party and hotel security folks ended up making people wait in line to enter the tropical-themed party with dance floor, sushi, ice cream, and cocktails. The club seemed to be filled with an overabundance of twenty-somethings who probably didn't land a ticket to the actual dinner--which is why it was nearly packed as soon as the dinner let out) but who were eager to rub elbows with network anchors and the like ('Oooo...is that John Roberts?'). What had to be hired dancers led the way on the dance floor with their swing and salsa, but it still took a while to convince others to get jiggy with it. After all, it's much more difficult keeping your attention focused on Martin Bashir when you're bumping and grinding Caribbean-style.

"The hundreds of people who couldn't make it into the pounding CNN party wandered over to the more staid NBC Universal party down the hall. Even Ed Helms ended up at the overflow party when the line at the CNN party proved too daunting."

We cannot imagine that any overflow party could prove too daunting for the unsinkable Ed "The roof is on fire" Helms. More here.