A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Dying your hair. Tom Cruise's hair is dyed a meaningful slate grey for Collateral, and, conversely, Billy Crystal's hair is dyed an ordinary black, according to AFlyOnTheWall:

"I was in the back stall of the public mensroom the other evening at a prominent Beverly Hills hotel. Just as I was finishing up, two men came in, apparently thinking they were alone. One of them began discussing his battles with a receding hairline and how he massages some kind of pricey cream into his scalp to stop hair loss.

"He then went on to lament how his barber uses Just for Men to color his hair, and now he's worried that may be contributing to his hair loss. And I'm starting to think Mr. Hair Crisis sounds an awful lot like Billy Crystal. So I exit the stall to wash my hands and, lo and behold, it is Mr. Crystal, talking to a friend while poufing his hair in front of the mirror.

"He glances at me sort of sheepishly, and I pretend I haven't overheard a thing."
And the comments on the board are vicious (The Corsair snaps his fingers, does a neck roll, and looks straight into the camera, repeating, mysteriously) ... "vicious."

Out: The John Kerry Teresa Heinz shouting match. What could possibly be so important as to provide bad press for a Presidential run? Why would anyone argue when you are a heartbeat away from the most powerful office in the land? What is there to argue about? Can two partners be in a sexier, more romantic, deeper moment than in running to decide the fate of the world> I mean, shouldn't the sex be out. of. the. fucking. world? Apparently, not with John and Teresa (pronounced Te-reh-sa) Drudge gives us the poop:

"Democrat presidential hopeful John Kerry and his wife got into a heated argument after a campaign rally in Arizona Sunday night -- a heated argument so hot they spent the night in different rooms! A well-placed law enforcement source tells DRUDGE how Kerry and Teresa Heinz moved to separate suites at Flagstaff's Little America Hotel. 'It was a cooling off, nothing more,' says a top source. The stress of the campaign and the nonstop tour of battleground states is taking a toll on the Kerrys. Teresa Heinz Kerry has been confiding in staffers how the tour is just 'nonstop movement' and how there 'is no time just to 'be.'"

The Corsair understands, for he, too, has questions about how to 'be'.

In: The London Baroque Orchestra's Couperin Recording. These days when I drag myself to bed, after a night of monumental drinking and political debate, turn on the air conditioner, put on Beethoven, he of the silvery sadness, and drift off to my special place where, my last dream journal recorded, pristine alpine monastaries are guarded by red baboons and laughing hyenas.

Anyhoo: Last night I tried a different sleep aid, The London Baroque Orchestra's Couperin instead of Beethoven, and fuck if it wasn't the most incredible recording I've heard in years, the sound was crystal clear, the keyboards witty, brisk and brimming with Couperin's "intelligent emotionalism," and, as so often is the case with Couperin, he tests the outer limits of the harpsichords sonic capabilities. If you are really into intricate and mysterious plinkety-plonkety sounding harpsichord pieces, like spiderwebs in the wind, like something Conchis in John Fowles' Magus might play on his Playel Harpsichord to lure English schoolteachers to their doom on far flung Greek islands, you know Couperin is the man. Couperin rules the night, baby pop; if you play any music at your apartment after midnight, and you are hoping to get some nookie off your date, break off some Couperin, playa. Francois Couperin will get you laid! No joke.

And if you, like me, are a Couperin fan, then this is the CD that you need to have.

(Bonus Points: If you, while Couperin in playing, whisper, to your lover, "between you and me ... wasn't Sartre totally overrated as a philosopher"? They'll be putty in your hands)

Out: Andre 3000, the Best Dressed Man in the World? Well, that's what Esquire says:

"'He's a complete individual,' Nick Sullivan, Esquire's fashion director, said Tuesday. 'But that's really the point.'

"Andre 3000 is the usually over-the-top dressed half of hip-hip duo OutKast. Some of the 30-year-old's fashion outings include: a lime green jacket at the 2004 Grammy Awards, candy apple red fur for the VH1 Big in 2003 ceremony and a pink-on-pink ensemble for the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.

"'He's probably worn his most outrageous when he's in a video or on stage,' said Sullivan, who said Esquire's list is more about personal style than a celebrity's stylist's style. 'What we photographed him in is very much what he wanted to wear.'

"Andre 3000 sports several different and subtle looks in the magazine's spread including a double-breasted suede trench coat by Michael Kors, a cashmere sweater by the Ralph Lauren Purple Label and corduroy trousers by AndreBenjamin, the rapper's own clothing line.

"Sources of his fashion inspiration include clothes from period flicks such as 'Legends of the Fall' and 'The Great Gatsby' and the 'old men' in his neighborhood."

Really? I thought his influences were Fruit Striped bubblegum and, of course, the proverbial 'old men' in his neighborhood. (suspenders? blogger, please!)

And why isn't my pal Taki Theodoracopoulos on that goddam list! Grrrr

In: Scott Stereogum. Today, along with a clip of Minnie Driver covering a Bruce Springsteen cover (the girl has a voice), he gives us some deep cover VH1 scoop:

"Wanted to tell you guys a long time ago, but had to keep my big mouth shut until now.
The second season of VH1's Bands Reunited features:

"Haircut 100
"ABC
"The Motels
"The English Beat
"New Kids On The Block ("La-la-la-la-la-la tonight, la-la-la-la-la-la tonight.")

NKOTB?! I don't even know where to begin. It's like God and Buddha just heaped bountiful blessings on every snarky blogger in the world.