Tuesday, August 31, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

NEW: From the LA.com blog:

"One of movies� better-known stars uses his celeb power in quite unusual and idiosyncratic ways, even for Hollywood. Insiders know that when it comes to casting women in his projects, he insists on taking a very active--some might even say hands-on--role. Careful observers might have noticed that many of the projects include at least one or two scenes starring a very hot woman who just happens to be barefoot. That�s because he absolutely insists on such scenes, the better to subtly satisfy his funky foot fetish, a predilection on which, offscreen, he spends a fortune paying hookers to play footsie all over him, with and without shoes."

Hmm. This sounds like a director whose name rhymes with Parantino.

In: Bad Protests. Logan Hill on the New York Magazine Blog fills us in on yesterday's little protest that couldn't, and why you should never trust a lazy ass musician to perform at a charity fund-raiser for free:

"Earlier this week, Russell Simmons pulled out of today's Still We Rise march. Organizers had expected that Alicia Keys, Jay-Z, the Beastie Boys, and others might show up. Instead, the artists slept off their hangovers after the MTV Music Awards--but all was not lost! Appropriately enough, the Rude Mechanical Orchestra rocked the crowd with a brass-band version of Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love.' Over, and over again."

Nothing like a Jay-Z song on the trombone.

Out: Republican Parties. So not Hott. Apparently when sub/slave-Republican blonde Bo Derek isn't reminding members of the press that she is an honorary Green Beret, cutie pie Libby Pataki is out-and-about interviewing the high rollers, ultrasleazy Grover Norquist and his Palestinian fiance at the Americans for Tax Reform party at the Midtown Yacht Club, young GOP men are sitting at the cash bar pining for a number on the Bush Twins dance card, and, at Crobar, the Republicans are listening to hillbilly "rockers" Lynrd Skynyrd croon, (Averted Gaze) "Sweet home, Alabama." (Were the Confederate flags flapping in the Knickerbocker breeze? Were the Good Ole Boys doing their halting "Rebel Yell"?)

Where are you at? You're at the Republican Convention Parties, that's where you are. And although, unlike Boston, the bars close at 4AM, that doesn't mean that said party is hott.

According to the Washington Post:

"'This is surreal,' remarked Erik Huey, 37, a lawyer-lobbyist from the D.C. firm Venable LLP, after the show. 'It's like a Skynyrd cover band. There's one VanZant and maybe a guitar tech from the 1975 tour.' But at least it was more authentic than two other bands slated to entertain Republicans this week: Kiss Nation, a tribute group, and Super Diamond, which pays homage to Neil Diamond."

Kiss Nation? WTF. Didn't they play in Bleeker Street bars for the Bridge and Tunnel crowd in the early 90s? Isn't that a band to entertain the Jersey boys? Geez. I guess they couldn't get the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

In: Bill Maher Flubs his lines. So best. According to the LA.com blog:

"Opening night of 'Hollywood Hell House' this past Saturday had more goofs than spooks in its ironic, word-for-word production of the Evangelical Christian recruiting tool. The tour takes you through an eight-room haunted-house journey to hell, each room illustrating a different mortal sin. When the show finally got to Lucifer, played by Bill Maher, the less-than-intimidating Prince of Darkness didn't have his lines memorized. The lines were posted on the wall behind the audience and Maher had to tell someone to move out of the way so he could read them. The seemingly four-foot-nothing star had to stand on his throne in order to complete his speech, all the while laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Next time, Beelzebub, memorize your script--only God is all-knowing."

Out: "Washington is a Harsh Town," so said the quite-hott-for-an older-woman, Cindy McCain, wife of Senator John McCain to Tina Brown on Topic A this past Sunday. In the interview, Mrs. McCain told of how she doesn't live in DC, but, rather, lives in her native Arizona, which explains something that I've always wondered about: How does a Maverick Senator's wife get invited to dinner parties in DC? The answer: she doesn't.

In: Best Dressed? British Vogue pronounces summary fashion judgment on Senator John Kerry:

"The results are in and it's official: Senator John Kerry is the best-dressed contender for President. At least Anna Wintour certainly thinks so. The British-born editor-in-chief of American Vogue described him as 'chic and unique' when he posed for the magazine last year and now a comrade has confirmed that the navy lieutenant's smart look is all down to the talents of British tailors. Kerry headed straight to Savile Row for his white dress uniform, while his shoes are all by Lobb of St James's."

But what about his hair?

Out: Did Sharon Stone Get a Facelift? There's lots of buzz going on at Flyonthewall about this:

"'Ohmygod, can you say facelift?' Fly's lady friend said over breakfast this morning, shoving this picture of Sharon Stone in a glitzy new magazine under my nose. 'She looks okay to me,' I reply.

"'Look at the whole upper half of her face. Nothing is moving! I've seen concrete with more flexibility than that. If she's smiling that much, her eyes should be wrinkling up more. But if she's had plastic surgery, that explains why nothing moved up there.'

"So I look a little closer. On second examination, I notice Ms. Stone does look a wee bit rigid and wrinkle-free on the upper half of her dome. After all, she's forty-six. It's not inconceivable she would've had 'some work done,' as we say in Tinseltown. So I told my lady friend I'd post the picture on my blog and take a little public poll. What do you think? Has Sharon had a facial rehab or is she 100 percent for real?"

In: Who's the Cracktress? Anonymous Outsider may have solved the mystery of the Page Six Blind item about the trilogy actress who sucks on the glass dick, thus vindicating Parker Posey:

" ... that the guy who named Natasha Lyonne as the pipe hitting culprit was on the money. The latter was in both America Pie 1, and its sequel (American Pie is a trilogy with American Wedding). A trustworthy female friend gave us the following account:

"'(This last) Friday night, at 2 am, me and L-- saw Natasha Lyonne and a friend in front of a deli on 28th and 3rd. She looked so bad, L-- was actually scared enough of her that she wouldn't go into the deli when they went in there, even though she needed to buy cigarettes, 'that bitch is super cracked-out, I'm not going in there.' And she was definitely tweaking or something, she was wearing sunglasses and screaming at her friend, waving her arm wildly, yelling, 'that's what fucking cell phones are for!' Finally her friend left to do whatever (Natasha) had wanted her to do and (Natasha) was still standing outside the deli when I left."

Out: The Simple Life, RIP. You can start playing TAPS, because I don't think we'll be playing our little pop-culture The Simple Life Drinking Games (TM) any time soon. According to the Daily Dish:

"Hotel heiress Paris Hilton threw a tantrum when TV chiefs tried to persuade her to sign on for another series of hit reality show 'The Simple Life.'

"The sexy socialite vowed earlier this year not to work on a third series of the smash television program after falling out with fellow rich girl Nicole Richie.

"And, when show executives offered her a basketful of gifts in a bid to change her mind, Hilton threw it back at a terrified producer, shouting, 'I'll never do another series of that show.'

"One astonished observer says, 'She was screaming and bellowing things like, I don't need you, and I'm a big star and I don't need your [bleep] gifts.

"Paris hit them with one parting shot saying, 'I'll also be getting enough money to buy the whole [bleeping] lot of you.' Then she stormed out.

"They're desperate to bring Paris and Nicole back. But it now looks like they've got as much chance of achieving that as Paris has of winning a Nobel Peace Prize."

What's your opinion?

And, Major Dad has a cancerous growth on his lung!

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