A Little of the Old in And Out

In: Lancome. Most beauty products hawk dangerous images of women that, in due turn, spur impressionable teens and tweens to have unrealistic impressions of "the beautiful," and, in extreme cases, eating disorders ensue, and lives are wasted.

Lancome is not such a company, reports -- of all places -- British Vogue:

"ELIZABETH JAGGER was told by Lancome that she would have to put on weight or risk losing her contract. The cosmetics firm said the 20-year-old model had dropped a dress size recently and that she was working to do something about it since the ultimatum. Rumour had it that former Miss World, Aishwarya Rai, was a possible replacement."

Put on weight?! Now I've heard everything. In that industry? Vogue reporting that a model had to gain weight to keep her job. Priceless.

Out: The New GQ. Not that I was ever a big GQ reader, but Art Cooper's GQ was so much more lively and less -- uhm -- Attention Deficit Disorder Generation (what a mess). There was once a time where in GQ you could read sophisticated stories about civilized Americans who, when in London, frequented parties where it was not uncommon to find Lord's with tiger scratches on their faces from safari's gone awry. And what not. The Aquarius in me loved that kind of thing.

And from Details one could expect VH1ish stories about what went on behind the scenes at WGBH's ZOOM during the late 1970s. No more of that, though, alas. The rubicon has been crossed, and both magazines now officially suck, catering to the lowest common denominator and what that rabble should wear. Charmed, I'm sure (Averted Gaze).

WWD writes:

"(new GQ editor Jim) Nelson insisted that lowering GQ�s median reader age of 32 was not his goal, per se. 'Everyone thinks I did it as a deliberate marketing thing,' he said. 'In truth, I was responding to my own editorial sensibility. Of course it was going to be pitched younger than Art�s.'

"Intentional or not, however, the rejuvenation of GQ has invited criticism from those who think the magazine is now too similar to Details, its corporate sibling. (Both magazines are owned by Advance Publications Inc., parent of WWD.) Nelson denied paying much attention to GQ�s competitors, but Details editor in chief Dan Peres acknowledged the collapsing of the space that once separated the two titles. 'Of course the changes have made it more of a direct competitor for us,' said Peres. 'It�s on our radar much more now.'"

I feel like such a cranky old man for having posted that, but I have no regrets, I miss the older, more civilized GQ, and the hipper, edgier, more downtown, wittier Details. And what ever happened to M Magazine? Back in the day, that was the shit.

In: Burt Reynolds, Giggolo. Eeew. You know it's August, a slow news month, when that significant cultural artifact, The Nattie Q, starts reporting on the fact that Burt Reynold's is a airquotes "kept man." (Ed Note: Please tell me if I'm abusing the air quotes) Strangely enough, Burt Reynold's has got some shit going on:

"Burt and his producer girlfriend, Kate Edelman Johnson (widow of Warner Communications president, Deane F. Johnson), are moving into a new $5.9 million Hollywood love nest -- that she's paying for.

"It's an 8,000-square-foot neoclassical villa atop Mulholland Drive that was once owned by singer Paul Anka."

Please kill me. It's August, a very slow news month all told, I did not mean to just boldface Paul Anka. I will never do it again. I don't want this blog to give off the aura of Dairy Queen's and K-Tel Infomercials. I want it to be fresh, crisp and sparkling, so please forgive the venture into 50s Americana. Let's continue with The Burt:

"'Burt and Kate are madly in love and moving into a new honeymoon cottage the first of September,' revealed a source close to the couple (Ed Note: that would probably be Burt Reynold's himself).

"'Burt jokes that he's a kept man,' said the source."

And so, the cosmos rights itself, and, after a surreal sojourn as a film star, a glitch, Burt finally plays the role that fate expected of him at the outset: the role a mid level hustler in the Hollywood Hills. We all have our places in this cosmic drama, and Burt's involves being the leathery arm candy and "drink getter" of Southwestern widows who have unnatural longings for gaudy Art Deco "fixings."

Out: Gwyneth Paltrow on Apple. Hello! Magazine reports on Gwyneth Paltrow's appearance on Oprah, and the "international outrage" immediately following the naming of her baby (International, Gwynny? Don't we have a high opinion ...), because, quite frankly, The Corsair has much better things to do (read: drink) than give Oprah a precious hour of his life:

"Gwyneth Paltrow has spoken in her first TV interview since she and her rock star hubby Chris Martin welcomed baby daughter Apple three months ago, revealing her domestic side to chat show queen Oprah Winfrey.The actress, assisted by her Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow co-star Jude Law, whipped up her favourite dish, flounder with miso sauce, and let the world know she has an organic cookbook in the works. And she also opened up about marriage and motherhood, finally revealing the reasoning behind her daughter's unusual name.

"'Her daddy said if it's a girl, I think her name should be Apple,' Gwyneth says. 'It sounded so sweet and it conjured such a lovely picture for me � you know, apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical � and I just thought it sounded so lovely and�clean! And I just thought, 'Perfect!'.

"'And then she was born, and it became an international outrage. Which I found surprising because there are people named Rose or Lily or Ivy or June�or lots of pretty nouns!'"

Riiight. (Averted Gaze)

In: Jim Shi of Fashionweekdaily's Interview with T Magazine's Stefano Tonchi. Says Tonchi:

"It used to be all about In Style; now it�s all about Lucky. I just think the mind and attitude of people have changed. There is a much more down to earth approach. Sure, we are all obsessed with celebrities, but in a different way. It�s all about service now�we have not heard that word as much as we do now. I think also that we are getting to a time where fashion companies don�t need to do clothes to be fashion companies. So in that sense, we are moving away from magazines that are just dealing with fashion as clothes and more with magazines that deal with fashion as lifestyle."

And, with a sly dig at Bonnie Fuller, he adds:

"What did you take from creating this magazine personally? I think coming from other publishing companies�I�ve been at Cond� Nast, I�ve been at Hearst, the latter for quite a long time�it�s a little bit of a different environment. It�s much more about the quality now. I think I found a standard of quality and design. There is a lot of attachment to the product; it�s a little bit less market oriented than other companies. You don�t deal so much with numbers as much as other companies. I�m not saying that we are completely separated from the advertising but I�d say there is much more independence than any other magazine. These rooms don�t resemble revolving doors�the way some other magazines do, changing staffers quickly. Many of the people here have been here many years."

What other magazines, Stefano, hmmm?

Out: Borrowed Lipstick. Eeew. According to Daily Dish, Beyonce goes ghetto, more ghetto even than the Popeye's Lifetime Award. Doesn't she have a broken toe?:

"Beyonce Knowles agreed to pose with fans for photographs while on a European holiday with boyfriend rapper Jay-Z, providing they gave her their lipstick.

"The singer, 22, posed with publisher Countess Valentina Artsrunik and her 16-year-old son Nicholas in Monte Carlo this week, but only on condition she handed over her used make-up.
Artsrunik explains, 'Nicholas wanted her picture so I asked if we could take a snap.

"'Jay-Z told us she would be happy to pose, provided I gave her my lipstick. It's a great color called Lady Danger by MAC. Apparently Beyonce couldn't get it anywhere in Monaco.'"

Now, Jay Z, you know better. Stop her when she does things like that.