Demi Moore's Saggy Knees

The Daily Mail (link via Ananova) reports today that Demi Moore is about to go under the knife, again:

"She spent more than ($ 365,000) remodelling her body in a move which rejuvenated her career and brought her romance with a handsome toyboy.

"But despite her now enviable figure, Demi Moore has been visiting the plastic surgeon again.
The reason, say friends of the 41-year-old actress, is a growing unhappiness with her knees."

The Corsair nods, knowingly, feigning Beverly Hills worldliness, noting that in the latest US Weekly, Kelly Ripa notes, "I used to wave with abandon, but then I noticed I had bat wings." (on how her arms are untoned). That arm business, and, now, that knee business. Knees are a dead giveaway as to one's age.

"While every other part of (Demi's) figure is toned to perfection, her knees are distinctly saggy.
And after her flaw was pointed out to her, the mother of three - who is very conscious that actor boyfriend Ashton Kutcher is 15 years younger than her - has asked her plastic surgeon to see what he can do.

"'Demi went to Brian Novack, who has already done work on her,' a source close to the actress
told an American magazine."

The Corsair munches on an Asparagus Tuna Hand Roll, appreciates, then moves in closer to the screen.

"He is a fantastic surgeon and his clients don't look like they've had surgery.

"Demi can't stand it that there is part of her that is not perfect.

"She is also sensitive about her age, although Ashton has told her a million times he doesn't care about what she looks like because he loves her."

Which, I'd guess, stems from how brutally Bruce dumped her (rumors swirled at the time that the youthful Liv Tyler may have been the "other woman"). Those scars, like knee surgery scars, don't heal.

"'A lot of her friends are trying to talk her out of having more surgery. Worrying about her knees, of all things, is just silly. She's lucky that's the only part of her left to sag!'"

Okay, class, here's the point in today's blog where we all learn something new:

"Knees are one of the hardest areas of the body to have done because there is nowhere to conceal the scarring.

"'If you cut away skin there is going to be scarring,' said British plastic surgeon Alex Karidis.

"'If you have a neck lift you can hide the scarring behind the ear, but the knees are one of the most exposed areas of the body.

"'I would always advise my clients against having knee surgery because it is impossible to hide. And even though the scarring might not be as bad as the sagging, it will be a tell-tale sign that you have had surgery.'"

Okay, how many other people besides me are now going to start looking at knees in the papparazi shots? Just me? No one else. Oh. (The Corsair says dejectedly) Whatever.

"If the actress does decide to have the surgery, it will add another ($9,000) to the tally of improving her body.

"Among the work she has allegedly had is liposuction to her hips, thighs and stomach, estimated to have cost ($29,000), a ($17,000) breast implant operation and ($36,000) of work on her face.

"She has also paid an army of advisers including a nutritionist, personal trainer, yoga teacher and kick-boxing coach.

"There is also speculation that she is to marry Kutcher, voted the world's most eligible bachelor by People magazine last year. "

On bended knee? Okay, bed joke. Here's what I wrote of Demi in December, back when I was funny, when I gave her a prestigious Corsair Pirate Award:

"The Six Million Dollar Woman pirate goes to every young man's older woman fantasy, Demi Moore. Undergoing what can only be described in Pravda, of all places, as 'massive plastic surgery,' Demi went from being pretty, to some kind of wonderful. Demi gave new meaning to the Golden Globes. She is our bionic woman, a real life analog to the hyperadvancement in technology. She is bigger technology news than the blackberry pager. One imagines, with tongue in cheek and a heart full of mirth, the conversation at that historic moment when the plastic surgeons conducted their Wierd Science on her:'We can rebuild her. We have the technology.We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic woman. Demi Moore will be that woman. Better than she was before. Thinner . . . bustier . . . tighter.'"