Monday, August 10, 2009

Human Beefsteak Wants To DJ

("Got Beef?" via celeb9)

We are, like Hamlet, cruel so that we can be kind. Certainly Madonna's 'bohunk of salted beef -- Jesus Luz -- has never done us any harm. Nor have we ever heard rumor of the carmelized man-brisket behaving boorishly. But *t-bone* is just so goddam laughable and socially useless (not unlike the equally extraneous Jenna Dewan).

Wholly unaccomplished, the porterhous-ish Luz is still a boldface name because of his Brazilian good looks, and -- mirabile dictu -- genital proximity to Madonna (Averted Gaze). That whole "Jesus"/ "Madonna" thing rankles even the irreligious (Ms. Ciccone clearly paints with her always subtle fuck-the-bourgoisie brush). And then there is the fact that "Jesus Luz" occupies important neurons that ought better to be better used storing, say, Einstein's General Theory or Meryl Streep's astonishing performance in Kramer versus Kramer. Important stuff. Now -- the beejay wants to deejay. From PageSix:

"MADONNA'S boy toy can now devote his life to promoting her. Model Jesus Luz 'has his mind set on becoming a professional deejay,' one insider told Page Six. 'Madonna and her friends are trying to get him established. He really wants to be more than just a model.' Our source noted that Luz discovered this new passion after 'playing at one of Madonna's concerts once.'"

The bump from model to DJ is mildly ambitious. He strives, to be sure, beyond his modest social station as buttery soft tenderloin.

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