Who Will Replace Dan Rather?

LX Robotnik, The Corsair's very own Meet The Press insider writes:

"Ron, just got some scoop from a source at NBC that even if Tim (Russert) is offered the job there is no way in hell he'd leave Washington for NY. That's the word around the control/green room. Also, Russert is NBC News Bureau Chief which, I'm informed, is actually a higher-ranking position than Brokaw's (and therefore Rather's)."

Which all but blows away my theory of Tim Russert taking over from Dan Rather. Russert and Matt Lauer were named earlier in the week as names on Media Overlord Darth Moonves' wish list of possible replacements, as The Arizona Republic says:

"NBC's Tim Russert is locked up through 2012, but many inside CBS feel he'd be a terrific successor to anchor Dan Rather.'People love him here,' says a high-ranking CBS executive, speaking on condition of anonymity. 'He's a big deal, a very likeable news guy. He could anchor from where he is," in Washington.

"Meet the Press moderator Russert, 54, reportedly is on CBS' wish list of outsiders to replace Rather, 73, who vacates Evening News after 24 years on March 9.

"'Matt and I worked it out - he'll do Monday and Friday, and I'll do Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday,' Russert joked Monday, referring all questions to NBC.This is the second time Russert has made the anchor buzz at CBS. In 2000, when he was first rumored as Rather's replacement, NBC offered him an unprecedented 12-year contract.

"Russert 'would be a terrific Evening News anchor,' says Bob Schieffer, 67, moderator of CBS' Face the Nation and 23-year weekend anchor of Evening News.

"'He's smart, obviously industrious and has built up a great reputation. There's no way NBC would let him leave. Meet the Press is making a lot of money.'"

Thus, leaving Diane Sawyer, former cokehead Matt Lauer, our fave, family man Bryant Gumbel, the bitchy Scott Pelley and the helmet-headed anchorbot, John Roberts. We'll have to go with Diane Sawyer, cause, well, how many other news anchors can say that they fucked Warren Beatty? How cool would that be to have as a "Wise Woman" someone who got busy with Beatty.

Then again, as Maureen Dowd puts it, it will prolly be another white helmet-headed male at Black Rock. Unfortunately, network execs still have a 17th Century sensibility on what actually constitutes authority and gravitas ("women's and Negroes need not apply").

The Corsair will continue to meditate in our morning yoga ritual for their belated entry into this new millennium thoughtwise. But don't hold your breath.