Madge Doesn't Adopt Malawian



(image via mi6)

Third World adoptions are so rife with complications, n'est-ce pas? Does the war-zone baby's skin tone go with the English country house? Will the little baby boy grow into perfect Men's Vogue cover material? Such are the concerns of the well-named "Material Girl (The Corsair leisurely sips the Black wine of the Cahors)," who, of late, seems overly concerned with metamorphosing Michigan modern dance geek into British Baroness to the Manor born (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"MADONNA was in a material whirl last night after the impoverished African nation of Malawi inexplicably announced to the world that the superstar had just adopted a 1-year-old boy there.

"'It is completely inaccurate. She has not adopted,' said her mystified spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg.

"Malawi officials made the startling announcement after Madonna visited orphanages there this week to help kick off a charity program to care for more than 1 million children, most of them orphaned by the AIDS epidemic that has ravaged parts of the continent. The bureaucrats proclaimed she had selected the baby from a lineup of 12 boys who were hand-picked for the 48-year-old Material Mom upon her arrival in the capital city of Lilongwe.

"They said Madonna originally wanted to adopt a young girl, but like a suburban housewife having second thoughts about what color to paint her living room, changed her mind two weeks ago."

Charmed, I'm sure.