Tish Baldridge on DC: 'Women here cannot be chic'



(image via TimeInc)

Washington, PJ O'Rourke once mused, is "Hollywood for the ugly." Zing. DC, by the way, is not unamused at said unkind remark, hosting, tongue in cheek (no pun intended), a contest for the "Hottest U.S. Senator" (link via Wonkette). While we will remain silent on the quality of "USDA prime beefs" among the men rattling sabers in our hallowed nation's capitol (Averted Gaze), DC is not without its share of "saucy hotties" among the fairer sex. Think: Lynda Carter, AKA Wonder Woman.

Why this conscious lack of chic -- especially among women -- in the capitol city of the world's greatest Empire? Even Rome had Livia Drusa Augusta, whom the aristocratic historian Tacitus regarded as something of a hot tomato (although, we imagine, not in those exact words). DC has a huge percentage of Southern debs, trophy wives, Hollywood starlets with a pet policy issue and ambitious hotties on the rise.

Even Alexandra Jacobs, in the New York Times Book Review, by way of a positive review, said of Jessica Cutler's The Washingtonienne, "The chicks that flock to the seat of the federal government are generally in search of career advancement, not Christian Louboutin-clad fun. So perhaps the Beltway bunch should be grateful for this lewd, unpretentious valentine to their city."

Stephanie Mansfield of the Washington Post digresses from an article on Bo Derek's recent visit to DC to muse on the state of women's dress in the nation's capitol:

"Now comes Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

"With her Oscar de la Renta scarlet silk gown, her knee-high boots and long jacket, her pastel Akris suits and jaunty flip, she's making women in Washington watch with a mixture of envy, awe and inspiration.

"... Suddenly, people are asking: Why can't Washington women dress, well, more like women?"

Yes: Why? (The Corsair sits rapt by his computer monitor)

"...'I think that's the number one thing to go for: appropriateness,' said Letitia Baldridge, White House social secretary to first lady Jacqueline Kennedy. 'This is a very serious city. People look very much alike in their neat pants and tops and handbags and designer sunglasses.' Washington women, simply put, are afraid. 'Women here cannot be chic,' she says. And retailers understand the paranoia.

"'You can't even buy a decent ball gown here,' said Mrs. Baldridge. 'You have to go to New York.'"

Truth be told, the idea of George Washington-in-drag lookalike Laetitia Baldridge in a ballgown does not sit well with our yogurt and granola breakfast. Still:

"... In the annals of Washington fashion flops, none can match Joan Kennedy's mini-skirt outfit, worn to a State dinner. 'She wore her skirts way up to the top of her thighs,' Mrs. Baldridge said. Then there were Nancy Reagan's toreador pants (Ole!). More recently, Martha Stewart elicited Inside the Beltway boos when she arrived at a White House State dinner wearing pink silk Shantung Capri pants and a white shirt stained with makeup. 'People just blanched,' one guest said.

"And what about Jane Fonda's velvet Scarlett O'Hara ball gown, also worn to the White House on a steamy, summer 90-degree eve, with her decollette proudly exposed. It's not only cleavage that Washington women disdain -- it's color.

"Fitness guru Denise Austin, who was born and raised in California and now lives in Alexandria, wore a coral-colored Carolina Herrera gown to an inaugural ball. 'I was the only one in orange,' she laughed. 'Everyone else wore black.'"

Well, we hear in his heyday, Jack Abramoff wore orange. Oh, no, we forgot: that was his "mantan." Continue:

"Hollywood stars even know to tone down the glitz for a Washington visit. When testifying on the Hill, actress Julia Roberts looked uncharacteristically frumpy in a baggy black pantsuit and glasses. Actress Angelina Jolie looked as if she was showing up for jury duty, even wearing a dark navy-blue covered-up sheath to a black-tie event at the Kuwaiti Embassy.

"... One reason Miss Rice may have more freedom to express herself is that she's single. She doesn't have to answer to a spouse who gets the jitters over his wife's Inner Bimbo. 'In Washington,' said Mrs. Baldridge, 'if you show a little skin, women think they'll be criticized. And their husbands will be ridiculed. You know, Look at that trollop he's married to."

Unleash the Inner Bimbo, Washington. Go on.

article here.