A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via probertencycolopedia)

In: The Feral Russell Crowe. Is the musky Russell Crowe safe for civilization? Ought Big Russ to be forced to exhibit a "Do Not Feed The Animal" t-shirt when out promoting his films stateside? Should we sprinkle his sweetmeats with saltepeter to douse his ungainly ardor? Would the dispassionate administration of a "tranq dart" into the precincts of his leathery hindquarters "down under" ... ease Our Favorite Simian into a more serene commerce with us more highly evolved homo sapiens (Averted Gaze)?

It cannot be easy for a Neolithic troglodyte like Russell to assume the upright posture for such extended periods of time. (The Corsair assumes the complex Zazen posture) Imagine the formidable strain on his "bandy legs." What were we thinking, letting him roam Manhattan unescorted and unmedicated? (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) According to NY1 (link via Drudgie Poo):

"With his latest film just hitting the theatres, actor Russell Crowe was arrested here in the city late Sunday night for allegedly assaulting a hotel employee. According to police, an employee at the Mercer Hotel in SoHo is accusing Crowe of assault.

"Investigators say the Oscar-winning actor struck the worker with a phone following reports had become frustrated that he couldn't connect a long distance call to Australia.

"The worker suffered a laceration to the face."

We so predicted this.



(image via the intrepid Page Sixxies via WireImage)

Out: Katie and Tom. Charmed, we're sure, at all the all-too-enthusiastic allegations of hott-monkey love between those Two Tinselbots presently cursed with that increasingly dodgy PR situation (Averted Gaze). Thwarted pseudo-love, IMHO.

In point of fact, the Cruiser-Holmes Make Out Machine (TM) is wildly careening out of control, spiralling into a solid wall of messy publicity gaffes. Nicole Kidman apparently -- or an organizer on behalf of Kidman -- wasn't amused backstage at the MTV Awards, according to the 3AM Girls:

"Cruise, 42 and his 26-year-old babe arrived on the back of his motorbike and headed straight to their own private love nest, a double dressing room at the backstage at the Shrine Theatre in LA.

"Organisers of the multi-million dollar TV awards show were ordered to make sure Tom and Katie didn't come face to face with Tom's ex, Oscar winning actress Nicole Kidman. So while Nicole in a tight black dress was helped down a flight of stairs, the loved-up pair stayed inside.

"An MTV insider said: 'There was an intricate timetable to ensure the three never came face to face. After Nicole presented her award, it was nearly two hours before Tom and Katie took to the stage.

"And things got cheesier when Katie presented her fella the MTV Generation Award, waxing lyrical about him being the type of guy who would 'take us on a ride of a lifetime.'"

"Wild ride," huh? (Averted Gaze) Is she sure she is not mistaking The Cruiser for the highly implausible "Cole Trickle" character of the abysmally bad box-office stinker "Days of Thunder"?



(via ImageScripting)

In: The Mysterious Melancholy Senator. Recently on Tucker Carlson's PBS Show 'Unfiltered' (We know now that by mentioning that we watched this stinker we have forever forfeited a precious 10 percent of the affection with which you once held The Corsair blog; presently we shall endeavor to win it back), the bow-tied one made an incredibly odd-cryptic remark. Tucker Carlson said that he knew of a Senator who had endorsed Howard Dean's quixotic Presidential campaign, who subsequently attended some form of therapy after the hard-hitting loss.

WTF?!

This is too fucking juicy for the politics geek in me. Did anyone in the Senate other than Senator Tom Harkin endorse Dean? Does anyone know if this is true?! papermag@yahoo.com


(image via WolvertonMountain.com)

Out: Is George Bush a Lame Duck? No, not by any stretch of the imagination. Absent some cataclysmic event, John Bolton will pass as Ambassador to the UN (Prediction: 54-46?) when Congress reconvenes after the Memorial Day recess tomorrow. Still, uber-insider and incendiary journo Robert Novak navigates us through the breakers of this tricky subject (link via Drudgie-Poo) of Bush's relationship to Congress:

"But being a lame duck may be a special burden for Bush. 'I don't believe the president understands that though he never again will run for any office, we have to run every two years,' a leading House Republican told me.

"That lack of rapport reflects coolness between a conservative Congress and a conservative president. Only Jimmy Carter as president was more of an outsider than Bush. In my first interview with then Gov. Bush, he told me how he disliked Washington. He acts as though the city today -- especially Congress -- is less attractive than ever.

"Bush never has been able to find a Washington facsimile of the late Texas Lt. Gov. Bob Bullock, the old guard Democrat who was Bush's invaluable partner during his governorship. He has found congressional Democrats to be in the mold of Rep. George Miller of California, who was the president's partner briefly in passing the 2001 education bill. Miller and his colleagues, Bush has learned, are liberal, partisan and combative.

"Nor is the president adept at turning around Republican strays. When the House Republican leadership on occasion has given him a list of recalcitrant members to rope in on a specific bill, he never has delivered. Whether he has tried very hard is debatable, but Bush is no Lyndon B. Johnson in dealing with members of his own party."

No, he's not. We cannot imaging the dignified if dim "W" conducting meetings in the john, like LBJ did.

"The president, in truth, cannot take credit for all of his legislative accomplishments this year. He benefits from a well-oiled Republican organization in the House. But the major bills passed this year -- reforms governing class-action lawsuits and bankruptcy -- were lobbied to passage by 'K Street' (the business lobbyists). They, not Bush, were responsible for 73 House Democrats crossing over on a vote to make bankruptcies more difficult."

The full Chicago Sun-Times article.



(image via Time)

In: Shirley MacLaine. After many wacky intergalactic lifetimes (Charlemagne's seducer, 8th Century Moorish girl), Shirley MacLaine still has the hot monkey sex drive. TMI? After all, we would expect no less from a satyr-blood relation to the "priapic" Warren Beatty. According to Jeanette Walls:

"Oliver Stone has more woes on his hands than his recent drug bust; he has also incurred the wrath of Shirley MacLaine.

"The new-age actress reportedly threw a drink in Stone's face when he asked about her sex life.

"'I met Oliver Stone recently and he asked me if I still make love. I became so furious that I threw my glass of wine in his face,' the 'Terms of Endearment' star said, according to ContactMusic. 'It's amazing how men think that women no longer have sexual desire once they reach their 60th birthday.'

"In fact, the 71-year-old MacLaine says she needs a younger man to keep her interested. 'I'd never be involved with or attracted to a man my own age. He wouldn't be able to keep up with me,' she said. 'I need a man who is about 15 years younger than me? someone who is flexible and fun and energetic.'"

And, we hear, allegedly, types who are distinguished-looking and in the diplomatic corps or the world of politics, preferably with a focus on Europe. Allegedly. And what not.



(image via the ironically titled Back-ins-tyle.com)

Out: Manolo Blahnik's, RIP. Foot fetishists, thou hast been brought low. Apparently, when WWD and W's Jacob Bernstein (son of Watergate journo Carl Bernstein and Nora Ephron) isn't dropping a dime on the identity of "Deep Throat," he is chronicling the end of the line accessory of "Sex and the City." According to Fashionweekdaily:

"... it seems that Jacob Bernstein is driving Eye editor Anamaria Wilson crazy over at the Fairchild offices ... speaking of Bernstein, he's apparently at work on a piece about how, thanks to shows like Sex and the City and all the overexposure it got, Manolo Blahnik as a brand is 'over'"

From Jacob's byline to the purple mountains majesty.

In: Nicholas Kristof, 2005 Michael Kelly Award Winner. Congrats to the Old Gray Lady's op-ed columnist on his timely meditations of the Genocide in The Sudan. The award could just as easily went to Kristof for his poignant columns on underage sex workers in Cambodia. According to the Award site (link via Poynter):

"David Bradley, chairman of Atlantic Media Company, announced today that New York Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristof is this year's recipient of the Michael Kelly Award for his columns denouncing genocide in Sudan and sexual exploitation in Southeast Asia.

"The $25,000 award is given annually to a journalist whose work exemplifies a quality that animated Michael Kelly's own career: the fearless pursuit and expression of truth. Kelly, who was the editor of two Atlantic Media publications, The Atlantic Monthly and National Journal, was killed while covering the war in Iraq in 2003.

"According to a statement from the award judges, 'Kristof linked the word genocide to the ongoing persecution of black Africans in the Sudanese region of Darfur, and focused attention on the continued sexual exploitation of young women in the brothels of Cambodia. With conviction, passion, and audacity, Kristof tugged at the world's conscience, in the best tradition of Michael Kelly.'"