Libertarianized Governors



Funny how Arnold, now cartoonish, with his once steroidally pumped body in mid-disintegration for all the world to see, was once considered The One. And today he is barely holding an upright posture. Such, alas, is the way of all human (and in the case of Arnold sub-human) flesh.

Still, of all one can say of the musky Governator (and there is much that best be left unsaid), one cannot call him a hypocrite. Arnold is an instinct-oriented Chimp-Man-zee; but he is pure. As someone who instinctively operates in a Hobbesian state-of-nature (Averted Gaze), Schwarzenegger has always been governed by a libertarian ethic. And since Libertarians cannot -- as of yet -- win the governorship of California (or, for that matter, the Presidency), Arnold became the next best thing: a Republican.

So when the economy, like Arnold's deltoids, declined, the Wildebeastish One looked to the decriminalization of marijuana.

Eminently logical, and entirely in step with his libertarianism. In the wild, if the apes could smoke a joint, the apes would smoke a joint. Arnold cannot understand why these hairless, puny beta ape forms complicate matters so.

And then comically David Patterson, the most awkward man to have ever stumbled onto a Governorship, followed suit -- and went too far. Way too far. Governor Patterson's new budget plan via NYPost:

"The $134 billion budget would hold new spending to an increase of less than one percent and close a projected deficit of $7.4 billion. In it, Paterson proposes $5.5 billion in spending cuts, including $1 billion each from health care programs and state agencies.


"... State Supreme Court filing fees would be increased to $215 from $165 and city court fees would jump from $60 to $45. Fees for filing for court motions would increase to $120 from $45.

"The plan would raise $45 million by allowing "racino" video lottery parlors to run 24 hours a day and bring in another $2.1 million by lifting the ban on Ultimate Fighting bouts.

It would lift restrictions on the keno-style Quickdraw on allow wine sales in grocery stores."

The so-called "sin-and-grin" taxation. Now you see why Paterson is regarded as awkward. A centered, steady pol would never have laid that much shit on the American voter's plate at a single sitting. That's like following up a cassoulet with a plate of beefsteak followed by a tall warm glass of blue cheese dressing (A small closing cough of feigned detachment). Our political gullets can only handle so much gristle before intellectual indigestion. You dole that stuff out in portions. Civilization is naturally conservative and one must bear that in mind particularly when one wants to lead it in liberating and libertine directions.

Paterson ought to have moved the issue slowly, mentioning cage fighting in one week, then the gambling perhaps one month later. These announcements would be made on either side of a major holiday. One can almost imagine the Governor, clad in loin cloth, leading the barbarian hordes no-longer-civilized into plunder of Jersey swinging the jawbone of an ass. That is almost what it sounds like. One awaits with baited breath for Paterson's bold "crack," "crystal meth," and "heroin" tax revenue enhancement plans to close the 2010-11 NY state budget (and does a "speedball" like the one that brought low Robert Downey, Jr. at the end of Less Than Zero get double-taxed on the smack as well as the coke?).

Let's face it: our governors are becoming libertarian. We knew it would happen eventually, organically. X-Generation has an affinity for libertarianism; voters are less interested in affiliation with the two-parties (Independent, anyone?). Those dinosaurs are vestiges of our parents generation. The economic crisis and the budgetary gaps in state coffers has caused the standard operational hypocrisy to cease, quickening the process. Patterson is wrestling with a a $7.4 billion budget gap in the third-most populous U.S. state; Governor Schwarzenegger's 2010-11 budget gap is a terrifying $20 billion (Fuck! If Arnold can solve that he deserves to be President).

It is curious though that the sunny, optimistic libertarianism of Rand and Silicon Valley seems oftentimes to valorize tendencies of an earlier period of human evolutionary development.

Just saying.