The Queen Sofia Gold Medal Gala



Abe Rosenthal dramatically reenacting a "woozy" scene from his infamous "crazy period." (image via nysocialdiary)

Neither did we know that yesterday, after having our monthly lunch ast Michael's with David Patrick Columbia, our favorite social chronicler, he was off to spend time in the society of personnages almost -- but not quite -- as fabulous as The Corsair. From NYSocialDiary:

"Last night at the Pierre. The Queen Sofia Spanish Institute of New York held The Gold Medal Gala, a reception and dinner in the presence of Her Majesty Queen Sofia of Spain, chaired by Oscar de la Renta, Chairman of the Queen Sofia Spanish Institute; and honoring Julio Iglesias, Dr. Henry Kissinger, and Mrs. Beatrice Santo Domingo. The evening was under the honorary patronage of President and Mrs. George W. Bush and Their Majesties King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain. Senator Hillary Clinton also attended the dinner and was seated on the right of Mr. de la Renta, with Queen Sofia to his left (and he, to her right of course).

"... There were several long dresses with trains last night. And lots of jewels � more than one usually sees as these occasions. Mrs. Jayne Wrightsman was in the crowd � an unusual occasion for the now dowager of what makes up the top tier of what is now described as New York society. Also in the crowd I saw Mr. and Mrs. Sid Bass, the very regal looking Nancy (Mrs. Henry) Kissinger, Carroll Petrie who was with John Christensen and her daughter Andrea, the Marquessa de Portago who has just finished a book of photography on Native American culture; Rafael the duc de Feria, Prince Dimitri of Yugoslavia. The prince and the duke soon learned on meeting that they were wearing the same Royal Oak watch by Audemars Piguet, except Prince Dimitri�s was accompanied by a wristlet with one large black pearl ..."



Prince Dimitri to Rafael the duc de Feria, "Dukey: check out this here pimped out bling." (image via nysocialdiary)



The Black Pearl. (image via nysocialdiary)

Will Kate Moss Star In Stella McCartney's Forthcoming Ads?



Kate posing for Stella this week in St. Barts. (image via vogue.co.uk)

Stella McCartney is red hott right now. So is Kate Moss. So, of course, media speculation that these two will sign on the dotted line and collabo together is entirely justified. According to British Vogue:

"KATE MOSS may not have starred in the ad campaign for Stella McCartney's H&M line, but the two are clearly still in business together. Kate, who has posed for Virgin Mobile, Longchamp and Roberto Cavalli in recent weeks, looked more gorgeous than ever as she posed for Stella on a beach in St Barts just days ago. While it remains unconfirmed that she will be the star of McCartney's own forthcoming ads, the pair are clearly enjoying working together � whatever they're planning."

Robert Novak: "The Senate Has Hardened..."



(image via cnn)

Our favorite punchy, three-piece suit wearing Dickensian villain, Robert Novak, waxes philosophical this time around:

"On Nov. 16, as Congress raced to adjourn for Thanksgiving, Senate Democratic Whip Richard J. Durbin found time to sit down with Republican political activist C. Boyden Gray. It was unpleasant for Gray, who followed with what looked like a prearranged letter of apology to the senator. After that, Durbin was reported to have lifted the 'hold' blocking Gray's confirmation as U.S. ambassador to the European Union.

"That very day, Durbin engaged in public confrontation with Republican Sen. Ted Stevens, the Senate's president pro-tem. Durbin took the Senate floor to accuse Stevens of making it easier for oil executives to lie to Congress. When Stevens demanded an apology under the rules, Durbin refused on grounds the rules did not apply.

"I have been watching the Senate for nearly 49 years, and there once was a time when Durbin's busy Nov. 16 would have attracted attention. But it went virtually unnoticed. The Senate has hardened, and so has Dick Durbin."

Ka-Pow! A cautionary tale from the DC journo with the stiffest right cross in the city ...

Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar vs. Athina and Dodi



(image via terra.com.br)

Duelling weddings! In the corner to our right, we have the Wedding of the Year, the Athina Roussel-Doda nups. According to Ekathimerini.com:

"Onassis heiress Athena Roussel�s wedding on December 3 in Sao Paolo to Brazilian equestrian Alvaro Alonso de Miranda Neto � otherwise known as Doda � marks her victory in the love stakes. Possessor of a huge fortune � albeit administered by Swiss trustees, inherited from her mother Christina and her grandmother Tina � Athena is preparing for her big day despite the reservations of her father Thierry, who has made known his view that the marriage is premature. The paparazzi are already packing their bags, as the wedding is expected to be a magnificent affair, with both Catholic and Greek Orthodox ceremonies. When Athena reaches the age of 21 on January 29 next year, she will have a husband by her side in her new homeland of Brazil, where she has bought two floors in an apartment building in a Sao Paolo suburb � a home furnished by a German decorator. Jennifer Lopez will sing at the wedding at the 'Oscar and Louisa' reception center for guests from around the world, although the guest list is still a secret.

We give the grade of A, mostly because of JLo singing in Sao Paolo (originally reported, we cannot fail to note, by NYSocialDiary), but also the inspired East-West blending of Christianity with its Orthodox cousin and, no doubt, exquisite, glottal Byzantine chants. The Swiss trustees are just gravy at this point. The maintaining of a double secret guest list one week before the actual wedding is also quite swellegant.



(image via mundodelocio)

And, in the corner to our left, according to the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"LIZ HURLEY will marry her millionaire boyfriend ARUN NAYAR in India next year, I am delighted to reveal.

"The pair are planning to tie the knot in a lavish three-day ceremony�with Arun making an eye-popping entrance on an elephant.

"The star-studded bash will take place in the grounds of the 16th century Devigarh Fort in Rajasthan, India�now a swanky five-star hotel.

"Guests will include DAVID and VICTORIA BECKHAM, PATSY KENSIT and PAMELA ANDERSON.

"Actress Liz's close friends ELTON JOHN and DAVID FURNISH will also be there, with David taking the unusual role of �maid of honour'."

A grade of C-plus, needs remedial work, see me. And: Patsy Kensit? (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

The 16th Century Indian wedding is a definite exotic plus, but the lamentable inclusion of Pamela Anderson, most recently of the even more lamentable "Stacked," on the guest list sounds vaguely ... jinxy. (Averted Gaze) Plus, 3 days of partying? We won't even entertain a snarky commentary on the elephant.

And, let's be honest, 21st Century Elton isn't the same as the existential 1970s Elton; nowadays he'd attend the opeining of an envelope.

A gilded envelope, to be sure, but still -- sniff, sniff -- 2nd class postage all the same. (Newsoftheworld)

A Little of the Old In and Out

(image via epochtimes)

In: Condoleeza Rice, Iron Lady. Niccolo Machiavelli, the expert and oft-maligned 16th Century Florentine statesman, believed that luck -- or, as he referred to it using the Graeco-Roman Goddess "Fortuna" -- is an actual observable force at work in the theater of international politics. Although our skeptical post-Enlightenment age has all but dismissed the reliance on such unquantifiable forces, it is almost uncanny how much luck -- Fortuna? -- Condoleeza Rice had this week. Madame Secretary's deft reaction to the said luck, however, is, as even us skeptics can begrudgingly allow, a clear tribute to her skills at the Art of diplomacy.

State Department diplomacy earlier this week averted a confrontation with Iran, outsourcing the job to Russia, the formerly disrespected superpower. Exquisite. With a renewed sense of purpose, Russia has taken to the job with great gusto. Curiously, this risorgimento of Russo-American bonhommie comes at a moment -- Fortuna? -- when Chinese secrecy may result in an environmental catastrophe of Brobdingnagian proportions. This environmental tragedy presents a shrewd opportunity for the United States to obfuscate the Sino-Russian alliance which is clearly against our interests. Condoleeza Rice would be wise to bring Russia back into the Western antechamber by adopting a strategy of neo-Nixonian Triangulation.

This week also: Condoleeza Rice inserted American influence into the stalled Middle East Peace Process, gaining, after heavy negotiations, access for Palestinians to cross into Rafah (And, for the first time, Israel cedes the crossing to the Palestinian authority). The European Union, that most nebulous of international entities, which will help monitor the crossing point, was duly involved in the negotiations. After a disastrous first term diplomatically, the Bush Administration appears to now understand the concept of diplomacy (It's that "nuance" thing). In the process, Mahmoud Abbas, a man we can deal with, gains in stature (against -- always -- the spectre of Hamas), thus gaining legitimacy in negotiations with Israel, who had all but wrote him off as sufficiently irrelevant.

The peace process got another shot of adrenaline -- Fortuna again? -- with Ariel Sharon's seamless transition from the party he founded to the new "Forward," which, astonishingly, is effortlessly leading in the polls.

The stars are once again aligned favorably and Middle East Peace seems, however remote, a distinct possibility.

Take a bow, Madame Secretary. (The Corsair pours himself a glass of the black wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes) It is well deserved.

Why is this man smiling? (image via majoritywhip.gov)

Out: Majority Leader Blunt. Congressmen, like sharks, can smell blood in the water. Majority Leader and Majority Whip Blount of Missouri, who lacks the effectiveness -- and, in his defense, the stink of scandal -- of Tom Delay, is in way over his well-coiffed, Congressional head. And everyone in the United States House of Representatives knows it.

It should be noted in passing that Blunt, an amiable and essentially harmless dunce to be sure, was a last minute second choice for the extremely efficient Congressman Dreier, whose, ahem, "lifestyle" was a tad too, ehr, "sophisticated" for the rock-ribbed Republican Right. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

Half a dozen Republicans are quietly scheming with Iagoesque intricacy behind the scenes to part Blunt from his House Leadership position. Most prominent among the names mentioned are Congressman Pence of Indiana, beloved of House conservatives. And, according to our favorite Dickensian villain, the punchy Robert Novak, Ohio Congressman John Boehner wants the Republican party to "break him off a piece," to wit:

"There is no doubt Rep. John Boehner of Ohio is quietly enlisting support from fellow House Republicans to elect him as majority leader in January. The question is whether Rep. Tom Reynolds of New York also is campaigning to be majority whip. Reports of a Boehner-Reynolds ticket have circulated in Washington, but Reynolds vigorously denies it. If he does run for whip, Reynolds would be accused of cutting and running from his duties as House Republican campaign chairman because of the difficult 2006 midterm election ahead.

"A special election in January would mean House Republicans have given up on Tom DeLay getting rid of his criminal indictment in Texas in time to resume the majority leader's chair in this session of Congress. Majority Whip Roy Blunt of Missouri has been acting leader. "

Congressman Blunt (Averted Gaze), we cannot fail to note, is most well known in his own home state for the fastidious attention he devotes upon the matter of manure. (A considerable pause; Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

A rock hard sweet ass calculated to rasp. (image via smh.com.au)

In: Madonna's Ass. Okay, The Corsair apologizes in advance if we are crude in expressing what ought to be said in-the-locker-room out loud, but honesty -- and our congenital Gemenianess asks, nay: demands -- an candid reckoning with regards to the subject of "sweet ass." A toned, "Arroz-con-pollo" ass like Madonna's, as displayed so charmingly in the "Hung Up" video, must be lauded for the craft and nurturing required for its prodigious upkeep.

Madonna's ass is a triumph of the will; Madonna's ass defies gravity as well as the ravages of Time.

For a fortysomething or however old she is, Madonna's has a fantastic poundcake. Respect.

President Ilham Aliyev: A low grade piece of Ass, to be sure. (image via unocqota)

Out: Ilham Aliyev. Wouldn't you love to know what former Governor and White House Chief of Staff -- to Bush 41 -- John Sununu had to say to PseudoPresdient Aliyev? And, while we are on the subject of the impossibly arrogant Sunnunu-- isn't it curious that Presidents tend to use the most infamously arrogant, nakedly ambitious of public officials as envoys on sensitive issues when dealing with dictators (Why is that? Expectations of Professional courtesy?). According to Swissinfo (link via JoseMarquez):

"Police in Azerbaijan's capital used truncheons and water cannon on Saturday to break up a protest by opposition supporters complaining of fraud in an election earlier this month.

"A Reuters reporter at the scene said he saw dozens of protesters with blood coming from head wounds after riot police moved in to disperse a crowd of about 10,000 people in a square on the outskirts of Baku.Police said the protesters were breaking the law. But the violent scenes may create added discomfort for Ilham Aliyev, the president of the oil-producing state who is already facing Western criticism over the November 6 parliamentary vote.

"'A lot of our people have been hurt,' Ali Kerimli, one of the leaders of the main Azadlyq opposition bloc, who was at the protest, told Reuters by telephone."

Branglina chat with Musharaaf, not pictured. (image via nationalledger)

In: Brangelina. Diplomacy had a tremendous week. Brangelina travelled to Pakistan to meet with "General" Musharaaf -- speaking of dictators with bad hair -- and did some celebrity diplomacy of their own, cashing-in on their Hollywood cred to bring attention to a calamity that has all but fallen off the radar of the global media. What's that sound? Oh, it's Jennifer Anniston oscillating wildly and throwing a high-pitched conniption fit. Never mind. Carry on. According to ITN:

"The Hollywood stars met the President during a crusade to help victims of Pakistan's earthquake disaster.

"Jolie described the 'hope and despair' she witnessed as she toured the Pakistani region of Rawalpindi and visited towns hit by the quake on October 8.

"Accompanied by Pitt, she said: 'You fly in a helicopter and you see ... one house after another just rubble, nothing standing.'

"Jolie appealed for a speedy delivery of promised aid to the country.

"Around 86,000 people were killed in the disaster, and more than 3 million homes were destroyed."

Of course, little or none of this content will actually be reported on tonight or tomorrow. It lacks "Zap!" All that will matter bittersweetly in the end is that in that same press conference Brangelina sidestepped questions as to whether or not they will marry. See if The Corsair is incorrect.

Kate Moss Photo Shoot: Who Loves You, Baby?







Kate Moss rocks our world! (images via thesun)

Post-rehab, post Doherty, several million dollars richer, Kate Moss looks, as you can see, quite goddamned wonderful. Good for her. The heart really is a quite resilient little muscle. From thesun:

"WELL, at least it�s only Kate Moss�s leg that�s high . . .Laughing Kate threw her right pin in the air on an island fashion shoot.The models looks back at her stunning best after kicking cocaine at a spell in rehab.

"Kate, 31, had been dumped by several fashion companies after revelations of her drug use.But as she lay on rocks on the Caribbean island of St Bart�s, and ran on the sands � switching between orange and grey dresses � it looked like her career was back on track."

Tom Ford's "Approved Side"



Fembot love from the "approved right side." (image via towerload via gawker)

While we still don't quite know what Tom Ford has actually done re: Hollywood (Ford retired from the fashion industry dramatically, yet continues to haunt his old stomping grounds with an almost poltergeistish zest), and that W Magazine photoshoot with the fembots was downright fucking creepy, the man is a cash cow. Ford oozes success.

And, of course, ancillary to success is Vanity ("Vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas"). From Popbitch, "Tom Ford only allows photographers to take pictures of his 'approved' right side."

Charmed, I'm sure. (Averted Gaze)

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



"Bad touch is if someone touched you, like where your bathing suit covers you .." (image via thecobrasnake)



Ironically, the DJ was playing something by ... Squeeze. (image via thecobrasnake)



Let's play: Guess whose not fucked up on 'X'? (image via thecobrasnake)



Easy access! (image via thecobrasnake)



"... Chello?" (image via thecobrasnake)



... Because Mariah needed thigh-dance. (image via yahoo.news)

Mr. Miyagi Dies



(image via shopforphotos.net)

We can still hear the explosive and infectiously percussive laughter of Pat Morita, after he dunked the overconfident and precariously balanced Daniel-san into the chilly Pacific from their boat during that atmospheric Crane-style training scene in the first Karate Kid film (Scored, charmingly, by Bill Conti). That could not have been just acting, it was too much of a pure moment.

To the legions of young men -- The Corsair included -- who regarded Pat Morita as a sort of cinematical father-figure, a temperate mixture of the twin virtues of wisdom and strength, Morita's death comes as a crane-style kick to the side of the head.

We half expected Mr. Morita to grow old, do the requisite cameos, and perhaps -- if we were lucky -- to revive his role as our favorite dojomaster-of-one at some later date. Death, who laughs at such naive expectations from the future, had other plans. Pat Morita is gone and we are left to make sense of it. From Tom Molloy of the AP:

"Actor Pat Morita, whose portrayal of the wise and dry-witted Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid' earned him an Oscar nomination, has died. He was 73.

"Morita died Thursday at his home in Las Vegas of natural causes, said his wife of 12 years, Evelyn. She said in a statement that her husband, who first rose to fame with a role on 'Happy Days,' had 'dedicated his entire life to acting and comedy.'

"In 1984, he appeared in the role that would define his career and spawn countless affectionate imitations. As Kesuke Miyagi, the mentor to Ralph Macchio's 'Daniel-san,' he taught karate while trying to catch flies with chopsticks and offering such advice as 'wax on, wax off' to guide Daniel through chores to improve his skills."

Oh, he did so much more than that. Morita's Miyagi honed Daniel Laruso's unfocused teen angst into an effective weapon, one that would singlehandedly and methodically take down the entire Cobra-kai empire, led by the sinister, ass-dimpled on his chin "Kreese," the bent embodiment of the unappreciated Vietnam veteran gone ... sideways.

Our favorite scene of Miyagi is in the beginning of Karate Kid II, when, immediately following Daniel-san's victory at the Middle Valley tourney, Miyagi throws down on Kreese. Ninja-style. It was on like Gray Poupon!



Kreese is trippin' (image via photobucket)

Kreese, revealing his true, sulfuric nature, had the prickish California-blonde Johnny Lawrence in some ferocious Karate choke hold from behind (see above), and was about to put his former A-student down for the count. Enter: Miyagi.

Miyagi briskly took Kreese out, ironically without striking a single bone-crunching blow, leaving a bloddy-fisted and helpless Kreese to face the teleological end of his own errant philosophy. ("honk-honk")

And, afterwards, the following bittersweet lesson:

"Daniel: You could have killed him, couldn't you?

"Mr. Miyagi: Aiy.

"Daniel: Well, Why didn't you?

"Mr. Miyagi: Because Daniel, for man with no forgiveness in heart, life worse punishment than death."

Of course, Kreese would come back in Karate Kid Part 3, up to evil and out for revenge, with some geeky dude with a ponytail, and once again face ignoble defeat at the hands of the Crane-style. But that's beyond the point. Surely, Morita himself had learned of the transcendance of forgiveness, for according to the AP:

"For years, Morita played small and sometimes demeaning roles in such films as 'Thoroughly Modern Millie' and TV series such as 'The Odd Couple' and 'Green Acres.' His first breakthrough came with 'Happy Days,' and he followed with his own brief series, 'Mr. T and Tina.'

"... Morita was prolific outside of the 'Karate Kid' series as well, appearing in 'Honeymoon in Vegas,' 'Spy Hard,' 'Even Cowgirls Get the Blues' and 'The Center of the World.' He also provided the voice for a character in the Disney movie 'Mulan' in 1998.

"Born in northern California on June 28, 1932, the son of migrant fruit pickers, Morita spent most of his early years in the hospital with spinal tuberculosis. He later recovered only to be sent to a Japanese-American internment camp in Arizona during World War II.

"'One day I was an invalid,' he recalled in a 1989 AP interview. 'The next day I was public enemy No. 1 being escorted to an internment camp by an FBI agent wearing a piece.'

"After the war, Morita's family tried to repair their finances by operating a Sacramento restaurant. It was there that Morita first tried his comedy on patrons.

"Because prospects for a Japanese-American standup comic seemed poor, Morita found steady work in computers at Aerojet General. But at age 30 he entered show business full time.

"'Only in America could you get away with the kind of comedy I did,' he commented. 'If I tried it in Japan before the war, it would have been considered blasphemy, and I would have ended in leg irons. '"

And so, America made good on its shameful treatment of Pat Morita -- Michelle Malkin's disgusting defense of internment camps notwithstanding. Against the odds, despite a showbiz beginnings playing to sterotypes, Pat Morita triumphed. Alas, Hollywood never put together a reunion of sorts between Macchio and Morita. It would have made millions. It was not to be.

Pat Morita rides off into the Hollywood sunset, the stuff of legends, the fabric of soft memories, mourned by his legion of fans.

The Corsair will never forget first viewing the Karate Kid, especially that scene when Daniel-san takes the opportunity to look through Miyagi's photographic past after his master's sake-feuelled evening, discovering, in effect, a mysterious and concealed past. Although it took the sequel to flesh-out that past, in that moment, Danile-san realized that there was far more to his rescuer-building superintendant than he, a Jersey boy, would ever know. After reading about the internment camp and his childhood with spinal tuberculosis -- and comparing that to where he ended his days, working in Hollywood, the land of Dreams, I also feel that there is far more to Pat Morita than we will ever know.

With that, goodbye Pat Morita. Wax off, stage left, we will miss you.

Pat Morita, RIP

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via hello!magazine via afp)

In: Sir Bob Geldoff. Geldoff, a noble with a keen sense of noblesse oblige took home a "Man of Peace" Award at, ironically, the all-but-peacefully named Julius Ceasar Hall. According to Hello!Magazine:

"Sir Bob Geldof's showed his more stylish side when he picked up a humanitarian award in Rome this week. The Irish star, who is famous for his casual presentation, was looking unusually dapper in a tailored pinstripe suit with buttoned-down collar when he appeared in the Italian capital.

"The former rock star, who was being honoured with the prestigious Man of Peace award at the World Summit of Nobel Peace Laureates, found himself in some esteemed company, as former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev was there to present him with the trophy.

"... 'Africa must be allowed to trade itself out of poverty,' he said. 'The EU must break the deadlock and as of today it has failed to do so. We live in a broken world which has never been healthier or wealthier, but some 500 kilometres south of here they die of want.'"



(image via twitch.net)

Out: Joaquin Phoenix. Was channeling Johnny Cash too much for Joaquin Phoenix's fragile vessel? It was hard enough, to be frank, for Johnny Cash to be Johnny Cash, much less some actor, no matter how talented he may be. First, Joaquin was feeling frogs in his hair. Now, according to Jeanette Walls:

"The moody actor, who plays Johnny Cash in the hit biopic, hinted to reporters that acting is so consuming he�s considering quitting.

�'Getting into a character is very difficult for me because I step away from everything that makes me comfortable,' Phoenix told the London Mirror. 'I show up with nothing in a strange hotel room in a strange city. I don�t know anybody. . . . I�d like a relationship � I�ve grown very tired of acting, the whole process, having to walk away from my life.'"



(image via smh.com.au)

In: Madonna. (Yeah, as a matter of fact: It is a slow day) We prefer the older, slightly less preachy incarnation, however, according to Reuters:

"As Madonna's 'Hung Up' jumps seven places to No. 7 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, the pop icon matches Elvis Presley's tally for top-10 hits -- 36, the most for any artist in the rock era.

"Madonna racked up that tally in about 21 and a half years, starting with 'Borderline.' Presley scored his 36 top 10 hits in 16 and a half years, from 1956 with "Heartbreak Hotel" until 1972 with 'Burning Love.'

"'Hung Up' is Madonna's highest-charting single in almost five years, since 'Don't Tell Me' reached No. 4 in February 2001. It is her first top 10 hit since her James Bond theme song 'Die Another Day' hit No. 8 in 2002."



(image via zug.com)

Out: Mel C. What's a washed up former Spice Girl to do? Mel C, or, as she was known to hordes of pre-pubescents in the late 90s (Averted Gaze), "Sporty Spice," recently self-financed the massive flop "Beautiful Intentions," and -- to make matters worse -- tore a ligament in her knee in a televised Judo match against Miss world (!).

Covered head-to-toe in loserdust, according to the 3AM Girls, shmaltzy Canadian crooner Bryan Adams says, unsportsmanlike, that the topheavy Pam Anderson is a better singer than Mel C:

"IS Bryan Adams trying to tell Mel C something? When the Canadian rocker did a new version of their duet, When You're Gone, he chose Pamela Anderson as Mel's replacement because - wait for it - she CAN'T sing.

"Bryan, 46, told Virgin Radio's Ben Jones: 'For my new anthology album I wanted to replace the song I did with Mel C as it wasn't a hit in America. So I asked Pamela if she could sing and she said no, and I said, 'Perfect!'
"'We recorded it in LA a couple of months ago. After a few glasses of champagne she was away.'"

The shmaltzy single here.

When Dame Judy Dench Showed Harvey Weinstein Her Arse



Well-aged beefcheeks? (image via cnn)

God bless the folks at Premiere. It was from Premiere that we first learned of Sam Jackson's "cracting," Brando's incessant "mooning," and the fact that Winona Rider spraying hot tears at Tom Waits' soulful rendition of "Waltzing Mathilda" ("You know, watching Tom Waits sing 'Waltzing Matilda' to Winona at the piano, Winona crying. It was a beautiful life. Les enfants du paradis.")

Now, Premiere totally befouls our mental image of The Four Seasons as being an austere joint for impeccably-clad but robustly botoxed ladies who lunch. Ass is on the menu, people; namely, a Dame Judy Dench's sweet, aged beefcheek salad with endives, chives and smooth watercress. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Oh, Dame Judy. From the December 2005-January 2006 Premiere Magazine:

"Brantley Bardin: So do you turn film companies into faux theater companies?

"Dame Judy Dench: That's hard, because (the cast) is not all together that much. But, you understand, on Mrs. Brown, we were like a company, because we only had thirty days to do it -- it started life as television, and it was only thanks to Harvey Weinstein that it ended up as a film.

"BB: Yes, with Mr. Weinstein having released Mrs. Brown, Chocolat, Iris, Shakespeare in Love, The Shipping News, and now (Mrs. Henderson's Presents) I'm thinking you're neither Mrs. Brown nor Mrs. Henderson you're actually ... Mrs. Weinstein.

"JD: Oh, yes. Don't tell his girlfriend, will you?

"BB: What has stormy Harvey done that's made you laugh?

"JD: It made me laugh when I told him that I'd had his name tatooed on my bum -- and then showed him at lunch at the Four Seasons.

"BB: Huh?

JD: It was painted on by my makeup lady."

Charmed, I'm sure. (Averted Gaze)

Happy Thanksgiving

Sorry for the lack of heads up that I was taking the day off. My email was hacked (We thought that sort of thing only happened to the Drudge-types; does that mean we have officially "Made It" as a blog?), so, as you can imagine, I was doing recon all day on what damage was done. If you are a media type who over the years has corresponded and you got an email allegedly from me in the last 24 hours beginning with the words "Dear Fucker .." or something to that effect -- that was really and truly not me.

Anyway: Happy Thanksgiving to all (Thank you for reading me daily over the past 3 years, or whenever you joined the Corsair fam), see you all back here Friday, after all is sorted out, security measures are put into place, normalcy is restored and my mood is more pirate-slapstick and less "Why are there people like Frank in this world?"

R

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Although Ted Koppel's gig at Nightline is nearly over, ABC brass cruelly announced his toupee is still in the running for the vacant Peter Jennings anchor chair. (image via news.yahoo)



The tragedy being that this earnest hipster truly feels the flavor, he just doesn't have the funk. (image via thecobrasnake)



Fabian and Martina Basabe mugging for the press at the Ambercrombie and Fitch opening. Immediately afterwards, both wipe their mouths with the back of their hands ostentatiously and say, in synchronicity, "Yuck!" (image via NYSocialDiary)



Debra Lefave is the teacher found guilty for "abusing" a student. Some would call her a slut. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) We prefer to think of her as ..."charitable." (image via yahoo)



... What fools these Mortals be. (image via yahoo)

Robert Novak, Ass Kicker, Name Taker



Don't make this man angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. (image via cnn)

Has our favorite Dickensian villain metamorphosed into a virile Hemingwayesque protagonist? We think not. (Averted Gaze) From the Washpo (link via Romenesko):

"Don't mess with columnist Bob Novak when he's on his way to a Maryland basketball game. Novak, the enigmatic center of the CIA leak scandal, was headed to Hawaii Saturday morning to watch his beloved Terrapins play in the Maui Invitational tournament when he tangled with a fellow traveler.

"According to our unofficial mascot on the flight, Novak was boarding an American flight to Chicago when he cut in front of another passenger while entering first class. The guy protested and laid a hand on Novak -- who responded by socking him and threatening to knock his teeth out.

".. Novak, the enigmatic center of the CIA leak scandal, was headed to Hawaii Saturday morning to watch his beloved Terrapins play in the Maui Invitational tournament when he tangled with a fellow traveler....'

"We reached Novak in Maui, just minutes into yesterday's game.

"'Some guy pushed me and I pushed him back,' he said, shouting into the phone from the stands. 'That's all there was to it.'"

(A considerable pause; a sharp intake of oxygen) Several variables contrive to deny Our Novak the status of filthy manliness.

To wit: 1) The article is written so tongue in cheek that one can almost feel the editorial staff laughing in unison at the assembly of the story as we read from the page, 2) While, yes, engaging in fisticuffs over sports is the very stuff of virility, we cannot fail to note that this is not the case when the sports team in question is named after turtles, the slowest terrestrial animals, and, further, not when the alleged pseudobrawl takes place in Maui, and, most importantly, 3) The use of the world "socking" in the article to characterize the state of violence suggests not so much a dangerous fisticuffs in which eyes and teeth would be rendered unhitched, so much as bad 1950's gangster dialogue better left to The Movie Channel. Sorry, Bob, you still only rate a Dickensian villain in our book. A thirsty evil, to be sure.

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via guardian.co.uk)

In: Tilda Swinton. Casting the ethereally beautiful British actress Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in Narnia was inspired work. Finally, Tilda Swinton becomes a superstar. Curiously, the gang at Paper -- not anyones model of the Christian right -- rave about the film. Equally interesting, the Evangelicals like it as well, screening it in churches. This suggests that the film could garner "Passion of the Christ" box office. According to the Papermag blog:

"Went to a really swell get together last night to celebrate the cast of the upcoming film: The Chronicles of Narnia. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Directed by Andrew Adamson, the Narnia was brainchild of a good friend of ours, Perry Moore ... who has shepharded this whole film from a seed of an idea to where it is today. (He is also an executive producer.) I don't know much about the Narnia's religious implications (I did not grow up reading these tales) but do notice that Christian groups all over the placer seem to be hailing it's arrival before they've even seen it. The reality may be a disappointment for the zealots though, because I can't imagine any film adaptation dreamt up by the intelligent and political Perry Moore, starring the fabulously creative, offbeat (and gorgeous) Tilda Swinton."



(image via pajamasmedia)

Out: Pajamas Media. How lame is this? After their launch on November 16th, where the disgraced journalist in a higher tax bracket Judy Miller managed to keep a straight face (and, no doubt, her high-voltage feline intensity) as she lectured bloggers on what they need to do to be part of the "MSM club," things went ... sideways. (Averted Gaze) According to Staci at PaidContent:

"A week after opening to mixed, often bemused reviews and causing a firestorm of criticism by changing its name to the already occupied Open Source Media, blog network Pajamas Media is hoping for a second chance with its original name. Blaming 'the guys in suits' for what ultimately was the poor judgment of the group doesn't quite cut it but the change back is a start. Next step: make the site less vanilla."

Agreed. The Corsair hasn't seen that much whiteness since spying the vast expanse of Kathy Bates' unfortunate nude scene in "About Schmidt."



(image via usatoday)

In: McCain versus Cheney. Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon! As the final reckoning of the Defense Authorization Bill looms on the horizon, after Thanksgiving break, the question is whether or not the McCain torture Amendment, which Dick Cheney strongly opposes, will get to a floor vote in the House -- and, in all likelihood, pass -- or whether the Vice President will have it killed in Conference.

Alexander Bolton of TheHill writes:

"Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who has emerged as a leading opponent of the Bush administration�s policy on interrogating detainees in the war on terrorism, wants Senate investigators to interview senior administration officials about their statements regarding the threat posed by Saddam Hussein before the war.

"McCain backed Democratic calls for interviews of top-level administration officials in an interview last week. But his position is at odds with many in his party, including Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.), chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, and Sen. George Allen (R-Va.), whom McCain may face in the 2008 GOP presidential primary.

"Lawmakers facing a difficult reelection in 2006 and have an eye on the 2008 presidential election seem torn between McCain and their party line. Sen. Mike DeWine (R-Ohio), a centrist Republican on the Senate Intelligence Committee who is one of the chamber�s most vulnerable incumbents, said he would reserve judgment on whether senior administration officials should testify before the intelligence panel. Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), who is also expected to run for president in 2008, noted that Roberts is his home-state colleague and deferred comment until he learned more about the matter.

"... McCain�s parameters appear to include Douglas Feith, the former undersecretary of defense who played an important role in the months before the war in analyzing Iraqi intelligence for the White House. Democrats have accused Feith of overstepping legal boundaries and want to interview him about his activities.

"So far at least one other Republican, Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-R.I.), who is also facing a difficult race next year, is siding with McCain.

�'Why not come in and defend what you say?' said Chafee. 'I agree with McCain.'"

So does The Corsair. Full story here.



Amber tries to save man. (image via British Vogue)

Out: Punk'd. This weekend's episode ended with supermodel Amber Valetta looking on weakly, on the verge of spraying hot tears. It was actually not cool (Not that Punk'd, at this august date, is cool, mind you).



Amber, post-punk'd, looking fucking adorable. Kiss me, Amber Valetta. (image via British Vogue)

There is karmic retribution to be paid by those who make supermodels cry. According to tv.com:

"Amber Valletta sees a guy choking and she finally decides to help by hitting him on the back. Matt performs the heimlich. He accuses her of pushing him away. Will asks if anyone wants to press charges and the guy tells her its a hate crime."



(image via timeinc)

In: George Soros. How does a newly single billionaire follow up secretly financing the Orange and Rose revolutions in Eastern Europe? Why, by buying a modelling agency filled with hott models, of course. According to RadarOnline (2nd story):

"Is billionaire philanthropist George Soros looking to sex up his portfolio? Fashion industry sources say the Soros Group is in late-stage negotiations with Katie Ford to purchase Ford Models, a prestige brand the Open Society founder feels can be expanded and exploited beyond its current confines.

"Speculation about the deal has circulated for some time within the fashion world, but Ford, ex-wife of hotelier Andre Balazs, has remained tight-lipped about the sale�due in part to previous experience. In 2002, the modeling matriarch agreed to sell the agency her parents founded to Magnum Sports & Entertainment for $22 million, but the deal slipped away before the check was in hand.

"When the ink dries, we�re told the newly bachelorized Soros, 75�who bought his way out his 21-year marriage to Susan Weber Soros last year for a reported $80 million�will need to recruit some new hands to manage his stable of nubile babes: Ford Models director Neal Hamill has just quit his job to move home to Texas."

Full story here.



(image via unadorned.org)

Out: Alessandra Stanley. The Old Gray Lady's television columnist lays an egg. While we love the fact that Alessandra put into words what we have always felt about Diane Sawyer ("'A poised, creamy insincerity'), the errors are piling up. According to our favorite Canadian Rachel Sklar at FishbowlNY:

"Can it be possible that Alessandra Stanley has another error in another column? At this point, I can only assume that she's just seeing what she can get away with. Never mind the Geraldo Rivera nudge fiasco (remember what a big deal the NYT's handling of that was before Judith Miller?) -- since then she's goofed on Martha Stewart's daughter's name, confused trustiness with truthiness, and mistaken the origin of Condoleeza Rice's name. You'd think she'd start being kind of vigilant, or that maybe the NYT would put a crack fact checker on the case.

"Evidently not - if we're to take today's column as an indication. Today Stanley addresses the departure of Ted Koppel from Nightline, which isn't the part that is wrong. What's incorrect is the following:

"Mr. Koppel recently was a guest on CNN's 'Anderson Cooper 360�,' a nighttime news program that is the un-'Nightline': Mr. Cooper jumps from topic to topic at top speed, everything from grisly true-crime stories to interviews with the likes of Nicole Richie.

"Which would have been fine if Anderson Cooper had actually interviewed Nicole Richie. Problem is, he didn't; that was Ryan Seacrest, standing in for Larry King last Tuesday."

Oops. The full story here.



Diana Taylor, Liz Smith, and Vernon Jordan (image via nysocialdiary)

In: Vernon Jordan. We are rather hard on Vernon Jordan. (The Corsair sighs mightily) We expect so much more from him, post-Civil Rights, than the naked quest for power. It makes us sad to think that the Civil Rights era was only about removing restrictions to the African-American quest-for-power and not the pursuit of the ideal of social equality before the law of all peoples. Call The Corsair a naive idealist, if you must.

Jordan's legendary charm, notwithstanding, is not to be trifled with. It is a force of nature. Our Favorite social chronicler, the wonderful David Patrick Columbia, told us a curious anecdote recently (one which we'll discretely keep under our hats), about Jordan's loyalty and strength of character -- with regards to his friend Bill Clinton -- that made us somewhat rethink what has been written on this blog in the past.

But we digress. Says in NYSocialDiary, today:

" I was originally planning on attending (the premiere of White Countess) except that Liz Smith asked me if I�d join them at a dinner at Cipriani 42nd Street for Women�s Voices for Change, the 'groundbreaking first partner of the North American Menopause Society (NAMS), the leading non-profit, scientific organization devoted to women�s health through midlife and beyond.'

"Liz was host along with Governor Ann Richards. The event chairs were: Dr. Patricia Yarberry Allen, Faith Childs, Elizabeth Hemmerdinger, Anne Marie Iverson, and Gayfryd Steinberg. And they presented the first ever Champion for Change Award to author Gail Sheehy who really got the ball started thirty years ago with her groundbreaking book Passages."

"... The women in the room at Cipriani last night knew all that of course. After the main course, they called upon another one of the rare males in the room, Vernon Jordan to pull the tickets for the raffle. The famous and distinguished Mr. Jordan is a legendary charmer, besides being a brilliant businessman and politician. After he did his bit, he thanked the audience and asked if he could be invited back again next year."

Vernon Jordan, world class charmer, in room full of older, powerful, seriously-dressed women. Hmm.

George Clooney Grabs Matt Damon's Punk Ass



"... kicked the bass like an NFL punter/ And scoped the booty like a big game hunter" (image via msnbc via warnerbros)

Although the Chattering Classes fairly swoon at the very mention of George Clooney's name, he is not above a little slap and tickle with another man. If you're going to pinch-an-inch, better that it belong to the pretty tushy of Matt Damon, who is almost bitchish. According to TheScoop:

"George Clooney startled some reporters at a press conference for 'Syriana' by grabbing Matt Damon�s behind. 'By the way, Matt Damon has a very nice ass,' Clooney told the journalists.

"One reporter noted that Damon had said that while Clooney was gaining forty pounds for the movie, 'you were a different person, you were constantly depressed.'

�'Well, he was lonely,' Clooney quipped. 'He needed someone to cuddle in Dubai, which, you know, doesn�t go over so well in the Middle East.'"

Freak! Enquiring minds want to know, though: As the ass cheeks were being goosed, Did Matt Damon emit a high-pitched bitchsqueak?

Pete Doherty Follows Kate



(image via vnn.vn)

Just when you thought Kate Moss was getting on with her life, washing that crackhead out of her hair, Pete Doherty is back on the scene, intoning, in a gravelly crackrock ravaged whisper, "Whither thou goest ..." According to the 3AM Girls:

"JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty has followed Kate Moss into rehab after the supermodel pleaded with him to get treatment for his drug addiction.

"He flew to America on Saturday and is believed to be in The Meadows clinic in Arizona, where Kate was treated last month."

Set restraining orders for stun. It gets progressively worse:

"...'Maybe she just wants me to go through it because she's been through it. It's the only time I'll have f***ing voluntarily gone into rehab.'

"Kate successfully completed a 30-day course at The Meadows and left last month. But she has so far refused to meet Doherty and he has been left alone, feeling depressed.

"He said: 'I just miss her. She says she just wants to be with me. She says she doesn't know why I love her. I don't know why she loves me, but that's just the way it is.'

"Doherty has cancelled several Babyshambles gigs over the past few weeks. He is understood to have been living in Bath .."

That, ladies and gentlemen, may just be the first media instance ever of the words "Bath" and "Pete Doherty" mentioned in the same utterance. (3AMGirls)

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



"Alright: Let's play HARDBALL. Good evening. I'm Chris Matthews. Harry Hamlin's overcosmeticized soap opera face is about as durable as Senbator Ted Kennedy's pickled liver. (image via washingtonlife)



Eschewing the obvious key lime pie, this adventurous hipster requested instead a warm slice of the new controversial "German stool" flavor. (image via thecobrasnake)



Blind-drunk off the opiate of the masses, Alexi reconsiders his previous acceptance of Marx's cunning linguistics. (image via thecobrasnake)



Failing to garner sufficient attention with an obnoxious t-shirt and severe hairstyle, the fallback plan was the olod reliable method of an exposed pair of sturdy milkmaiden breasts. (image via thecobrasnake)



If he were a type of music he'd be "acid jazz." (image via thecobrasnake)



With regards to this hottie with a body, we'll cosign along with Wittgenstein, who said, famously, "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent." (image via thecobrasnake)