Why Was Chris O'Donnell At Elton John's Oscar Party?



The Corsair read this odd dispatch from USA Today and was wholly baffled as to why anyone would invite someone so essentially talentless and non-striking-looking as Chris O'Donnell to Elton John's Oscar party. It defies logic:

"Earlier in the evening, Furnish explained, 'Elton's been on stage with Prince in Vegas and London. They have such mutual respect for each other as artists. He's going to perform at our party and then we're going to his later.'

"DeGeneres and deRossi were so busy socializing in the smoking tent, that they missed Tilda Swinton's win. 'I chose Tilda on my ballot,' said an excited deRossi.

'''We got stuck out there talking to Sean Penn and Simon Cowell,' added DeGeneres before taking deRossi's hand and walking back to their table.

"Penn, newly split from wife Robin Wright, brought along Petra Nemcova as his date. The two were very affectionate at their table, which also sat Chris O'Donnell and Kate Beckinsale."

Okay, Petra Nemcova is stunning. And everyone else mentioned in boldface exhibits some amount of noteworthy talent.

But Chris O'Donnell?!

The closest Chris O'Donnell has ever come to an Oscar is the last time he gnawed on a weiner hot dog. And he is an environmental terrorist of sorts, to boot. Imagine all the trees brought low to furnish the cast and crew with scripts to his shitty little movies (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).