The Unbearable Unsavoriness of Mike Huckabee



Yes, Huckabee is funny. And comedic relief is delightfully tonic in a Republican debate boiling with vaguely bigoted and hugely un-Christian references to poor -- and, yes, illegal -- Mexican immigrants, as well as Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.

But Huckabee is funny like a clown, he amuses us. And we do not expect our Presidents to be "amusing" -- at least not after the current elected Ass in office -- we expect our Presidents to be erudite and sharp abd enigmatic and ironic. Comedy, to paraphrase Aristotle in The Poetics, is populated by stupid-fucks.

And so while Huckabee is decidely ha-ha funny, there is something severely off with regards to his character. Ironically, Mike is running as a Christian conservative with a monopoly on character. Instead of campaigning on the Tragedy -- which, to paraphrase Aristotle, is populated with existential Heroes -- of His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Huckabee, incapable of the intensity required of the dramatic role, is doing his low-grade and uninspired stand-up routine.

Clearly, Huckleberry has a non-homorerotic man-crush on Senator John McCain. And they seem to be running a sophisticated pimp-game on Mitt Romney, who is clearly rattled by this two-on-one game that has fairly neutralized his gazillions and his alliances with talk radio fuckheads. At debates, Huckabee's man-loveis in alarming evidence as he salivates over McCain's every utterance, which passes for slightly-aged Republican beefcake. Okay, who are we kidding here: Very Aged Republican Beefcake.

But Huckabee was most ... ripe ... when he pretended he wasn't going to run an ad that can only be properly construed as disgustingly unfair. He called a press conference to tell us he wasn't.

And then he ran it.

Nice.

We won't even bring up the Cross -- the not a Cross -- which, clearly, Huckabee ran with a calculation to rasp.

Huckabee is a lot smarter and a lot smarmier than he pretends to be. But offsetting his essential swinish character with humor is a master stroke. It distracts.

Don King is an expert at disguising a filthy character with buffonishness.

And Huckabee's buffoonishness might just swing him the Vice Presidency of the united States.

Nice work if you can get it.