John Waters Wants To Work With Kevin Federline



Message to K-Fed, or Fed-Ex, or whatever we are calling him these days: Get your agent in touch with our favorite auteur who one smoked crack, John Waters. Waters, who has a bit of an obsession with Britney's ex (and, allegedly, Lohan's present personal), thinks the former dancer "would be great to have" -- in a movie, that is.

John Waters has made a wonderful career by resurrecting Lost Souls, whether teaching classes in prisons or putting on-screen the outcasts of society -- what Oswald Spengler would call "felaheen" -- even as American culture way back then was all about the IBM Organization Man and getting a sensible haircut and dating bobby socksers and the Homecoming Queen. From AMC's "Sunday Morning Shootout":

John Waters: "Do you know you can already buy a statue of Britney getting out of the car -- online, you can get it -- the same people that put out the one with Michael Jackson holding the baby. You can get this, it's such a notorious thing.

"Now I feel bad that she's in rehab and all -- I get it. I ... don't get the rehab they go to.

"Only in L.A. do they have rehabs for homophobia. (laughter) What is that? Where (Isaiah Washington) went to. They show you -- what? Liza Minelli movies? (laughter) I mean, I try to imagine what happens in anti-homophobia rehab. Is it (an) all gay staff? What could it be? That's like a real skit on Mad TV or something.

"So, I'm for (K-Fed). I think since the divorce he's been very quiet actually and I think he tried to help her in rehab and I think he's handsome ...

"... He'll find his way -- and he's made fun of himself and I've specialized in that.

Peter Gruber: -- You like those archetypes ...

John Waters: People that have a negative influence that they can't change. Even Johnny Depp did that with me. He was a teen idol and he came in Cry Baby and made fun of it. Tracy Lords had just escaped porn and she came and made fun of it. Patricia Hearst played the mother of a kidnap victim. If you want to change your image -- you make fun of it.

"And if you can make fun of it with the right people they can't make fun of you any more. So Kevin would be great to have.

Peter Bart: "You used Patricia Hearst in several movies ...

John Waters: She's done about 5 of them. I think she's a good comedian.

Peter Bart: "I think that would be a change of self-image in her mind.

John Waters: "Who wants to be a famous victim? It's like being the Lindbergh baby. (laughter) It's no fun."