Brett Ratner Loves Hotel Du Crap




(image via Variety)

Bloated former Russell Simmons protegee Brett Ratner infamously trashed the Hotel Du Cap ("Why I Hate The Hotel Du Crap") only to reverse himself on Sunday Morning Shootout with Peter Bart and UberGuber (TM).

Ratner used the pages of Peter Bart's Variety like a personal blog -- the bad kind -- to lash out at the prestigous luxury hotel because, well, they didn't give him any respect. (Averted Gaze) They din't give him a room at Eden Roc. Even after 500 Euros and the recommendation of Charles Koppelman, former chairman of EMI Records, he couldn't hang. Instead, Andrew Quiska ("a serious Motherfucker ... polished fingernails ... The James Bond of concierges) booked Ratner in The Annex. He wrote of this harrowing experience:

"Welcome to the Annex. First you walk out of the main hotel -- carrying your own bags because there's no one to help you -- and take a road off the main driveway, one that leads away from the ocean and Eden Roc. Then you get to a lonely three-story building that you can only enter with a key since there's no bellman. You go up to the second floor, down this tiny hallway and then another and then: my room. My very-special-good-friend-of-super-fantastique-Charles-Koppelman room. I mean, literally, it's the size of a toaster oven. It smells like the building where my grandparents lived in Miami Beach. No TV. No minibar. There's a tiny bed and four walls. I can pretty much touch all four walls while sitting on the bed.

"So I walk back and find Quiska, 'cause there's gotta be some kind of mistake, right?

"'Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Ratner. There's no mistake,' he says. 'Mr. Koppelman asked me to take care of you, so I give you a fantastique room.'

"How is this a fantastique room? I'm overlooking a shrub. I can touch all four walls at once. But this guy. This guy who's already been paid, who took my money, my goddamn money, looks me in the eye and says, 'But Mr. Ratner, I am taking good care of you.'"

Afterwards, Ratner recounts to Bart and Uberguber how he went up to every billionaire he knew, as they were checking out, and asked if he could have their room. He ended up with 4 rooms, just as a sort of "Fuck You" to Quiska. Predictably, he was 86ed from the Hotel.

But being Brett Ratner, after X-Men, they offered him the "5 Room villa with the 24-hour butler. To which Ratner said, "I'll take the offer."

'Cause he's Old School like that.