Stasi Drugged; Spiegelman Pitches to Moss' New York?
According to fashionweekdaily:
"New York Post columnist / TV writer Linda Stasi was out of commission for a few days recently after someone drugged her drink during a night on the town. Stasi felt sick after a cocktail at the Villard Bar and Lounge in the New York Palace Hotel the other night. She went to the hospital and was treated for mild poisoning, and had to be hooked up to an IV at one point. Doctors told her she was drugged but did not know what with, and Stasi has no idea who might have slipped her the mickey or why. She is said to be reviewing her legal options."
Brandusa Niro's Fashionweek Daily is coming on bold and fast with the scoops (Full Disclosure: The Corsair occasionally does projects for Brandusa, so take this with a grain of salt if you must, but we like her, she's got a fantastic, larger than life personality).
Fashionweekdaily continues, "Graydon Carter's new hire from the salmon-hued weekly, Frank DiGiacomo, is said to be working on a piece about New York gossip columnists for his first assignment."
Which is interesting, considering the war going down between Page Six and Lloyd Grove, with appearances by Howard Stern and Beth Ostrowsky, the National Enquirer's Mike Walker and New York Press Editor Jeff Koyen, for good measure. It's like a goddamn gossip World War Three up in this bitch, yo. Anyhoo, fashionweekdaily continues:
" ... Page Six scribe Ian Spiegelman, who got the axe earlier this week after some ill-advised remarks he made to the New York Daily News, is pitching a piece about his travails to New York magazine."
Ian Spiegelman is genius, and Adam Moss would be a fool not to jump on this as a cover story that would generate phenomenal media buzz. Each can be useful to the other. Moss' vision and Spiegelman's blood vendetta mesh well in this instance: Moss likes to reveal how the city's power institutions work, and who can give a better view into the New York gossip industry than the outspoken and clearly out for revenge Spiegelman. Fresh faced Alexandra Polier wagging her finger at (The Corsair makes quotation mark gestures out of thin air)"The Media"? Fuck no, baby pop, lets go with a Rablasian alpha male like Ian Spiegelman attacking Daniel Dechert's upcoming New York Press article, which, incidentally, no one in The Chattering Classes worth their weight in black clothing will read, because, like, I mean, really -- who reads the New York Press? (Averted Gaze) That organization is covered in loser dust.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Amsterdam, Taiwan: Bill Clinton and Rudolf Nuryev
Please, O Lord, Give us this day our Daily Clinton:
"I went to Amsterdam with my artist friend Aimee Gautier. The streets were covered with Christmas lights and lined with charming shops. The famous red-light district featured perfectly legal prostitutes on display in their windows. Aimee jokingly asked if I wanted to go into one of the places, but I declined.
"We toured the main churches, saw the Van Goughs at the Municipal Museum and the Vermeers at the Rijksmuseum. At closing time, we were asked to leave the wonderful old place. I went to the cloakroom to pick up our coats. There was only one other person left in line to pick up his. When he turned around, I found myself facing Rudolf Nuryev. We exchanged a few words and he asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. I knew Aimee would love it, but just outside the front door, a handsome, frowning young man was anxiously pacing, obviously waiting for Nuryev, so I took a pass. Years later, when I was governor, I found myself in the same hotel with Nuryev in Taipei, Taiwan. We finally got our cup of tea late one night after we had fulfilled our respective obligations. Obviously he didn't recall our first meeting."
Bill Clinton, My Life
Well, let me spell it out for you, Bill, as delicately as I can; You can't expect a man to remember each person he ever invited for a, ahem (The Corsair makes gestures out of thin air with his fingers of quotation marks), "cup of tea." Get it?
Oldhag contemplates another Clintonian romantic moment.
Please, O Lord, Give us this day our Daily Clinton:
"I went to Amsterdam with my artist friend Aimee Gautier. The streets were covered with Christmas lights and lined with charming shops. The famous red-light district featured perfectly legal prostitutes on display in their windows. Aimee jokingly asked if I wanted to go into one of the places, but I declined.
"We toured the main churches, saw the Van Goughs at the Municipal Museum and the Vermeers at the Rijksmuseum. At closing time, we were asked to leave the wonderful old place. I went to the cloakroom to pick up our coats. There was only one other person left in line to pick up his. When he turned around, I found myself facing Rudolf Nuryev. We exchanged a few words and he asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. I knew Aimee would love it, but just outside the front door, a handsome, frowning young man was anxiously pacing, obviously waiting for Nuryev, so I took a pass. Years later, when I was governor, I found myself in the same hotel with Nuryev in Taipei, Taiwan. We finally got our cup of tea late one night after we had fulfilled our respective obligations. Obviously he didn't recall our first meeting."
Bill Clinton, My Life
Well, let me spell it out for you, Bill, as delicately as I can; You can't expect a man to remember each person he ever invited for a, ahem (The Corsair makes gestures out of thin air with his fingers of quotation marks), "cup of tea." Get it?
Oldhag contemplates another Clintonian romantic moment.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: David Lee Roth, who has been quite active of late on the New York party circuit. First he was on The Sopranos, now, apparently, he's all buddy-pal with Jason Binn. Not a bad resume. According to Fashionweekdaily, the Binn's will be living it up upscale with Diamond Dave on the Fourth of July, "We�?ll be out in Aspen with [former Van Halen frontman] David Lee Roth launching Aspen Peak."
And if that weren't wild enough, Roth is running with the angels now that he was passed over to front Van Halen. Here's the quote of the day from Fashionweekdaily, made by David Lee Roth at Jason Binn's pool party, "I've been riding around in an ambulance doing actual EMT work and it's amazing what you find in each of the different neighborhoods. On the Upper East Side, it's mostly heart attacks; on the Lower East Side, you have the ecstasy overdoses; and in Harlem, you find all the traumas."
Out: Michiko Kakutani, Presidential memoirs snob. There are many potential kinds of snob to be on the hypocritical Upper West Side ("What? We don't believe in social hierarchies!"): a white wine snob, the privatenurseryy school snob, the Lincoln Center tickets snob, the stone ground cracker snob, restaurant snobs, an Asian adopted baby snob, even -- dare we say it? -- an electrical car snob (you get my point about Upper West Side liberals?). But, lo and behold, woe unto thee if you are the worst snob of them all -- a Presidential memoirs snob (Averted Gaze). Editor and Publisher writes:
"In an unprecedented move, The New York Times late Wednesday posted on its Web site a review of a book not scheduled to run until July 4 in its Sunday Book Review. This, of course, is no ordinary book, but Bill Clinton's new memoir, 'My Life.'
"The review, by famed novelist Larry McMurtry, calls the book 'the richest American presidential autobiography.'
"Although the Times did not indicate the reason, much criticism has been leveled at the paper since last Sunday, when it published an extremely unflattering review of the same book on its front page (a very rare event), two days before the book was published. That review, by regular critic Michiko Kakutani, called the book 'sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull.'
"... Times spokeswoman Kathy Park, in announcing the early posting, did not address any of the criticism or the reason for putting the new review up so early.
"McMurtry in the new review says that 'snobbery' is the reason some reviewers have compared Clinton's book unfavorably to the classic by Ulysses S. Grant. 'Some people don't want slick Bill Clinton to have written a book that might be as good as dear, dying General Grant's,' he charges.
"He adds, slyly, 'There are plenty of stout sticks to beat Clinton with, but Grant's memoir is not one of them.'"
Like I said, Out: Michiko Kakutani, Presidential memoirs snob (sniff, sniff, Averted Gaze).
In: Good Plastic Surgery (link via Defamer). All we hear about is the bad plastic surgery. Sometimes silicon is our friend. And sometimes silicon is our enemy.
Out: Danny Aiello plays the outer borough "ethnic" card, according to Lloyd Grove (Say what you will about Grove, he is making the tabloid wars far more exciting and competitive than Mitch Fink ever did):
"Snubbing the rev: That was Danny Aiello refusing even to look at Al Sharpton Tuesday night when Sharpton dropped by Aiello's table at the Four Seasons Restaurant to say hi to Jason Binn, David Lee Roth and half a dozen others dining with the actor. 'I'm not going to shake hands with Al Sharpton - I just can't do that!' Aiello vowed."
Come on, Danny Boy, the Reverend is just your harmless garden variety attention seeking buffoon. He's not dangerous like the Staten Island-Howard BeachBensonhurstt (The Corsair makes quotation marks gesture out of thin air) "powernexusx" believes (The Corsair softly chuckles). It's not like he pals around and makes sundry business deals with convicted felons. Ka-Pow!
In: Sheik Chic? What will the Muslim fundamentalists say when a Dubai, United Arab Emirates investment group buys into one of the hallmarks of "Western Decadence"? Come to think of it, "Western Decadence" sounds like a theme that Donatella has, uhm, pursued in her life. Anyhoo: Vogue reports:
"HAS Versace found a buyer? The Italian fashion house, which is the subject of much speculation ahead of Allegra's 18th birthday next Wednesday, has apparently been contacted by the Istithmar fund about buying a minority stake. Versace admitted earlier this year that it was looking for a financial partner and, with Gianni's niece due to inherit 50 per cent of the business next week, the fashion world has been on tenterhooks to see what will happen next. It seems that this Dubai, United Arab Emirates-based investor group, which has a bank balance in the region of $2 billion, has big plans, however. 'A brand like Versace is the dream of any sheik,' Matteo Corsini, the Italian partner of Istithmar, told Women's Wear Daily. 'I think Versace is the best brand in Italy. New money is a good combination with the Versace brand.' While CVC Partners, Cerebus and Apax Partners, all of which were expected to show an interest in the house, have failed to come up with any offers, Versace itself is refusing to comment on any rumours. 'The company has received great interest from many parties,' it said. 'All inquiries have been forwarded to our advisers Credit Suisse First Boston and Lazard.'"
Out: Kimberly Stewart's Chihuahua. One of the unwritten rules of being a socialite, or, for that matter, rock royalty such asKimberlyt Stewart no doubt is, requires that if you have an annoying little Vienna sausage-sized dog, you need to either carry it in your Louis Vuitton, or get a special carrier for it. No exceptions. To do anything less would be to damage the social honor of said dog. And a social misdemeanor on a nervous dog of that size could be fatal to his little over-bred heart. But don't quote me on that.
Imagine the social insecurity that dog is feeling, being trotted around the fashionable districts in London in a paper bag. That's like placing a crown of thorns on the son of god, I'm serious, people will talk. If Kimberly Stewart were seen in a respectable neighborhood carrying her little weiner dog in a (averted gaze) paper bag (cough that signifies feigned detatchment) ... the ASPCA would be on her ass faster than Christian Slater in the strip club VIP room.
In: La.com's blog has an interesting blind item that has me bewildered in a way I have not quite been since Heidegger's unorthodox reading of pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus:
"Even Dollys titanium-clad heart goes out to that young show biz beaut who could soon be spending some of her gazillions on couples therapy--if, that is, she wises up to the wild and wanderin ways of her good-lookin-travelin-man boyfriend. The sexy young thang must be so busy with her own booming multihyphenate career that she doesnt have time to snoop into her boyfriends luggage before he hits the road. See, her man tends to cram his with such goodies as whips, handcuffs, leather masks, seriously scary dildos and those ever-popular tit clamps. If our starry-eyed little miss werent in such a state of denial, she might also have the time to check with the maids and staffs of the hotels at which her boyfriend stays, especially since the dude is so careless about leaving behind those sex toys wherever he goes. As for the pain-loving guy, we guess the dummy hasnt figured out yet that the butch, foreign dominatrix types he likes to hire bring their own toys with them at no additional charge."
Who is this?
In: David Lee Roth, who has been quite active of late on the New York party circuit. First he was on The Sopranos, now, apparently, he's all buddy-pal with Jason Binn. Not a bad resume. According to Fashionweekdaily, the Binn's will be living it up upscale with Diamond Dave on the Fourth of July, "We�?ll be out in Aspen with [former Van Halen frontman] David Lee Roth launching Aspen Peak."
And if that weren't wild enough, Roth is running with the angels now that he was passed over to front Van Halen. Here's the quote of the day from Fashionweekdaily, made by David Lee Roth at Jason Binn's pool party, "I've been riding around in an ambulance doing actual EMT work and it's amazing what you find in each of the different neighborhoods. On the Upper East Side, it's mostly heart attacks; on the Lower East Side, you have the ecstasy overdoses; and in Harlem, you find all the traumas."
Out: Michiko Kakutani, Presidential memoirs snob. There are many potential kinds of snob to be on the hypocritical Upper West Side ("What? We don't believe in social hierarchies!"): a white wine snob, the privatenurseryy school snob, the Lincoln Center tickets snob, the stone ground cracker snob, restaurant snobs, an Asian adopted baby snob, even -- dare we say it? -- an electrical car snob (you get my point about Upper West Side liberals?). But, lo and behold, woe unto thee if you are the worst snob of them all -- a Presidential memoirs snob (Averted Gaze). Editor and Publisher writes:
"In an unprecedented move, The New York Times late Wednesday posted on its Web site a review of a book not scheduled to run until July 4 in its Sunday Book Review. This, of course, is no ordinary book, but Bill Clinton's new memoir, 'My Life.'
"The review, by famed novelist Larry McMurtry, calls the book 'the richest American presidential autobiography.'
"Although the Times did not indicate the reason, much criticism has been leveled at the paper since last Sunday, when it published an extremely unflattering review of the same book on its front page (a very rare event), two days before the book was published. That review, by regular critic Michiko Kakutani, called the book 'sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull.'
"... Times spokeswoman Kathy Park, in announcing the early posting, did not address any of the criticism or the reason for putting the new review up so early.
"McMurtry in the new review says that 'snobbery' is the reason some reviewers have compared Clinton's book unfavorably to the classic by Ulysses S. Grant. 'Some people don't want slick Bill Clinton to have written a book that might be as good as dear, dying General Grant's,' he charges.
"He adds, slyly, 'There are plenty of stout sticks to beat Clinton with, but Grant's memoir is not one of them.'"
Like I said, Out: Michiko Kakutani, Presidential memoirs snob (sniff, sniff, Averted Gaze).
In: Good Plastic Surgery (link via Defamer). All we hear about is the bad plastic surgery. Sometimes silicon is our friend. And sometimes silicon is our enemy.
Out: Danny Aiello plays the outer borough "ethnic" card, according to Lloyd Grove (Say what you will about Grove, he is making the tabloid wars far more exciting and competitive than Mitch Fink ever did):
"Snubbing the rev: That was Danny Aiello refusing even to look at Al Sharpton Tuesday night when Sharpton dropped by Aiello's table at the Four Seasons Restaurant to say hi to Jason Binn, David Lee Roth and half a dozen others dining with the actor. 'I'm not going to shake hands with Al Sharpton - I just can't do that!' Aiello vowed."
Come on, Danny Boy, the Reverend is just your harmless garden variety attention seeking buffoon. He's not dangerous like the Staten Island-Howard BeachBensonhurstt (The Corsair makes quotation marks gesture out of thin air) "powernexusx" believes (The Corsair softly chuckles). It's not like he pals around and makes sundry business deals with convicted felons. Ka-Pow!
In: Sheik Chic? What will the Muslim fundamentalists say when a Dubai, United Arab Emirates investment group buys into one of the hallmarks of "Western Decadence"? Come to think of it, "Western Decadence" sounds like a theme that Donatella has, uhm, pursued in her life. Anyhoo: Vogue reports:
"HAS Versace found a buyer? The Italian fashion house, which is the subject of much speculation ahead of Allegra's 18th birthday next Wednesday, has apparently been contacted by the Istithmar fund about buying a minority stake. Versace admitted earlier this year that it was looking for a financial partner and, with Gianni's niece due to inherit 50 per cent of the business next week, the fashion world has been on tenterhooks to see what will happen next. It seems that this Dubai, United Arab Emirates-based investor group, which has a bank balance in the region of $2 billion, has big plans, however. 'A brand like Versace is the dream of any sheik,' Matteo Corsini, the Italian partner of Istithmar, told Women's Wear Daily. 'I think Versace is the best brand in Italy. New money is a good combination with the Versace brand.' While CVC Partners, Cerebus and Apax Partners, all of which were expected to show an interest in the house, have failed to come up with any offers, Versace itself is refusing to comment on any rumours. 'The company has received great interest from many parties,' it said. 'All inquiries have been forwarded to our advisers Credit Suisse First Boston and Lazard.'"
Out: Kimberly Stewart's Chihuahua. One of the unwritten rules of being a socialite, or, for that matter, rock royalty such asKimberlyt Stewart no doubt is, requires that if you have an annoying little Vienna sausage-sized dog, you need to either carry it in your Louis Vuitton, or get a special carrier for it. No exceptions. To do anything less would be to damage the social honor of said dog. And a social misdemeanor on a nervous dog of that size could be fatal to his little over-bred heart. But don't quote me on that.
Imagine the social insecurity that dog is feeling, being trotted around the fashionable districts in London in a paper bag. That's like placing a crown of thorns on the son of god, I'm serious, people will talk. If Kimberly Stewart were seen in a respectable neighborhood carrying her little weiner dog in a (averted gaze) paper bag (cough that signifies feigned detatchment) ... the ASPCA would be on her ass faster than Christian Slater in the strip club VIP room.
In: La.com's blog has an interesting blind item that has me bewildered in a way I have not quite been since Heidegger's unorthodox reading of pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus:
"Even Dollys titanium-clad heart goes out to that young show biz beaut who could soon be spending some of her gazillions on couples therapy--if, that is, she wises up to the wild and wanderin ways of her good-lookin-travelin-man boyfriend. The sexy young thang must be so busy with her own booming multihyphenate career that she doesnt have time to snoop into her boyfriends luggage before he hits the road. See, her man tends to cram his with such goodies as whips, handcuffs, leather masks, seriously scary dildos and those ever-popular tit clamps. If our starry-eyed little miss werent in such a state of denial, she might also have the time to check with the maids and staffs of the hotels at which her boyfriend stays, especially since the dude is so careless about leaving behind those sex toys wherever he goes. As for the pain-loving guy, we guess the dummy hasnt figured out yet that the butch, foreign dominatrix types he likes to hire bring their own toys with them at no additional charge."
Who is this?
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Lloyd Grove Causes a Media Ruckus
Lloyd Grove sure is causing a lot of media ruckus, and I'm not sure I mean that in a good way. Allow me to explain: Just last week Our Man Lloyd was feuding mightily with Howard Stern, the self proclaimed King of All Media, (actually, the feud is only in detente, not over, why just yesterday he harshed on Stern's gal pal Beth Ostrosky, bringing forth a rain of insult and a cryptic, 'I've got something for Richard Johnson') and now, voila, he claims he cost Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman his job. Actually, it was a sissy move by writer Daniel Dechert, who sneaked Grove the story.
The Spiegelman-Dechert contretemps began with a Page Six story by Spiegelman saying, among other things:
"A PROMISING teenage writer is in the middle of an angry dispute with her ex-boyfriend on the eve of her book's debut.
"Abigail Vona, 19, details how she overcame being a 15-year-old drug addict with a year at a teen boot camp in her upcoming memoir 'Bad Girl: Confessions of a Teenage Delinquent' (RuggedLand). But she may have an even harder time overcoming a fight with her former boyfriend, man-about-town Douglas Dechert.
"Vona claims she dumped Dechert, 47, last Wednesday after a year-long relationship she now describes as 'pretty gross.' Dechert, Vona says, proceeded to throw her belongings into the street."
And things heated up yesterday when Grove wrote:
"In a toxic screed that the weekly New York Press plans to print next week, Dechert calls his ex-girlfriend - who dumped him last month - 'barely literate.' He adds that she has 'the heart of a mercenary and the soul of a hustler.'
"Yesterday, Vona told Lowdown: 'I'm excited about the book, but I'm worried about Doug. He just won't go away ... I got into a bad relationship with Doug.'
" ... New York Press editor in chief Jeff Koyen called Dechert's article 'a fun, entertaining indictment of New York publishing. I think people will enjoy reading it.'"
Does anyone still read the New York Press? Anyhoo: Dechert made claims that Ian Spiegelman courted Vona while writing the original Page Six article, a charge which was not substantiated. Plus, Dechert seems to be a jealous creep, so he would probably say anything. Spiegelman responded with an email:
"You're a lame and a pussy, Doug. And you should know better than to try and wage war on me. I'm better, stronger and smarter than you, you little Nancy. If I wanted to take your girl out, I would. You have nothing I can't take away from you, you non-man."
And, of course, as Nancy's and non-men are wont to do, Dechert ran giggling to share the contents of this private yet combative email with a gossip columnist, namely, Grove, who in turn shared the contents of the email with Post PR consultant Howard Rubenstein, who finally shared it with Post Editor Col Allan. You see where I'm going with this. In the end Spiegelman got fired, which is a shame, but with his solid rep it shouldn't be too hard for a man like him to land squarely on his feet in this town.
Lloyd Grove sure is causing a lot of media ruckus, and I'm not sure I mean that in a good way. Allow me to explain: Just last week Our Man Lloyd was feuding mightily with Howard Stern, the self proclaimed King of All Media, (actually, the feud is only in detente, not over, why just yesterday he harshed on Stern's gal pal Beth Ostrosky, bringing forth a rain of insult and a cryptic, 'I've got something for Richard Johnson') and now, voila, he claims he cost Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman his job. Actually, it was a sissy move by writer Daniel Dechert, who sneaked Grove the story.
The Spiegelman-Dechert contretemps began with a Page Six story by Spiegelman saying, among other things:
"A PROMISING teenage writer is in the middle of an angry dispute with her ex-boyfriend on the eve of her book's debut.
"Abigail Vona, 19, details how she overcame being a 15-year-old drug addict with a year at a teen boot camp in her upcoming memoir 'Bad Girl: Confessions of a Teenage Delinquent' (RuggedLand). But she may have an even harder time overcoming a fight with her former boyfriend, man-about-town Douglas Dechert.
"Vona claims she dumped Dechert, 47, last Wednesday after a year-long relationship she now describes as 'pretty gross.' Dechert, Vona says, proceeded to throw her belongings into the street."
And things heated up yesterday when Grove wrote:
"In a toxic screed that the weekly New York Press plans to print next week, Dechert calls his ex-girlfriend - who dumped him last month - 'barely literate.' He adds that she has 'the heart of a mercenary and the soul of a hustler.'
"Yesterday, Vona told Lowdown: 'I'm excited about the book, but I'm worried about Doug. He just won't go away ... I got into a bad relationship with Doug.'
" ... New York Press editor in chief Jeff Koyen called Dechert's article 'a fun, entertaining indictment of New York publishing. I think people will enjoy reading it.'"
Does anyone still read the New York Press? Anyhoo: Dechert made claims that Ian Spiegelman courted Vona while writing the original Page Six article, a charge which was not substantiated. Plus, Dechert seems to be a jealous creep, so he would probably say anything. Spiegelman responded with an email:
"You're a lame and a pussy, Doug. And you should know better than to try and wage war on me. I'm better, stronger and smarter than you, you little Nancy. If I wanted to take your girl out, I would. You have nothing I can't take away from you, you non-man."
And, of course, as Nancy's and non-men are wont to do, Dechert ran giggling to share the contents of this private yet combative email with a gossip columnist, namely, Grove, who in turn shared the contents of the email with Post PR consultant Howard Rubenstein, who finally shared it with Post Editor Col Allan. You see where I'm going with this. In the end Spiegelman got fired, which is a shame, but with his solid rep it shouldn't be too hard for a man like him to land squarely on his feet in this town.
Clinton: "Clawing my way through a maze"
"The most challenging course I took in high school was calculus. There were seven of us in that class, it had never been offered before. One day the teacher, Mr. Coe, handed an exam in which I had all the right answers but a grade reflecting that I'd missed one. When I asked about it, Mr. Coe said I hadn't worked the problem properly, and therefore must have gotten the correct answer by accident, so he couldn't give me credit for it. In the textbook the answer required several more steps than I had used. Our class had one true genius, Jim McDougal (no, not the Whitewater one), who asked if he could see the paper. He then told Mr. Coe he should give me credit because my solution was as valid as the one in the textbook, indeed better, because it was shorter. He then volunteered to demonstrate the validity of his opinion. Mr. Coe was just as much in awe of Jim's brain as the rest of us, so he told him how to get ahead. Jim then proceded to fill two full blackboards with symbolic mathematical formulas analyzing the problem and demonstrating how I had improved on the textbook's solution. You could have fooled me. I had always liked solving puzzles, still do, but I was just clawing my way through a maze. I didn't have a clue about what Jim was saying, and I'm not sure Mr. Coe did either, but at the end of his bravura performance I got my grade changed. That incident taught me two things: that in problem solving, sometimes good instincts can overcome intellectual inadequacy; and that I had no business pursuing advanced mathematics any further."
Bill Clinton, My Life
"The most challenging course I took in high school was calculus. There were seven of us in that class, it had never been offered before. One day the teacher, Mr. Coe, handed an exam in which I had all the right answers but a grade reflecting that I'd missed one. When I asked about it, Mr. Coe said I hadn't worked the problem properly, and therefore must have gotten the correct answer by accident, so he couldn't give me credit for it. In the textbook the answer required several more steps than I had used. Our class had one true genius, Jim McDougal (no, not the Whitewater one), who asked if he could see the paper. He then told Mr. Coe he should give me credit because my solution was as valid as the one in the textbook, indeed better, because it was shorter. He then volunteered to demonstrate the validity of his opinion. Mr. Coe was just as much in awe of Jim's brain as the rest of us, so he told him how to get ahead. Jim then proceded to fill two full blackboards with symbolic mathematical formulas analyzing the problem and demonstrating how I had improved on the textbook's solution. You could have fooled me. I had always liked solving puzzles, still do, but I was just clawing my way through a maze. I didn't have a clue about what Jim was saying, and I'm not sure Mr. Coe did either, but at the end of his bravura performance I got my grade changed. That incident taught me two things: that in problem solving, sometimes good instincts can overcome intellectual inadequacy; and that I had no business pursuing advanced mathematics any further."
Bill Clinton, My Life
Eric Benet to Halle Berry: Pay Up!
This, according to that significant cultural artifact The Star:
"Now that Halle Berry, 37, has finally filed for divorce from her cheating husband Eric Benet, sources say that Benet seems to be pulling out all the stops to get as much money as he can from his soon-to-be ex-wife. He's currently challenging the prenuptial agreement they signed at the start of their 32-month marriage, and he's using his 12-year old daughter, India, as a pawn, according to insiders."
The Corsair munches unsalted popcorn and moves in closer.
"'Eric has demanded insane amounts of money to maintain his lifestyle,' says an insider. 'He's telling Halle that India, too, is starting to suffer and has become withdrawn because she was taken out of that lifestyle 'so abruptly,'
"On June 1, Benet, 37, filed papers in Los Angeles Superior Court questioning the validity of his prenup. Neither Berry's nor Benet's reps returned calls for comment."
Moving in closer, The Corsair mouths, silently: "It's on ... it's on like Gray Poupon."
"Outside court, however, sources tell Star that Eric has shamelessly brought his daughter into the mix, even threatening to limit Halle's visits with her. Halle and India have been close ever since Halle and Eric became serious in the late '90s. When the couple married in January 2001, Halle accepted India -- whose biological mother died in a car accident when she was a toddler -- as if she were her own. 'I'm all she's got as far as a mother goes,' Berry has said. 'It feels as if she's my own; she calls me 'mommy.'
The Corsair mouths the words, a tear gliding down his downy cheek, 'Mommy.'
" ... Now India appears to be at the center of a divorce battle that has become increasingly bitter in recent weeks, sources say. Benet 'tells Halle that India has gotten used to the way other girls -- rich girls -- dress, act and shop. Therefore, he wants Halle to pay up,' the insider says. 'He pretty much dangled India in front of Halle's nose -- like dangling a carrot in front of a horse -- and when she went to grab it, Eric would pull India back until Halle melted down,' says the friend. For a while these scare tactics seemed to work, but sources say Halle has now had enough. The insider says, 'Halle is hoping any fair judge will see Benet's ploy for what it is and not award him one dime.'"
Eric Benet strikes The Corsair as a lazy, shiftless, lowdown cheating ... musician.
Quick: What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless ...
This, according to that significant cultural artifact The Star:
"Now that Halle Berry, 37, has finally filed for divorce from her cheating husband Eric Benet, sources say that Benet seems to be pulling out all the stops to get as much money as he can from his soon-to-be ex-wife. He's currently challenging the prenuptial agreement they signed at the start of their 32-month marriage, and he's using his 12-year old daughter, India, as a pawn, according to insiders."
The Corsair munches unsalted popcorn and moves in closer.
"'Eric has demanded insane amounts of money to maintain his lifestyle,' says an insider. 'He's telling Halle that India, too, is starting to suffer and has become withdrawn because she was taken out of that lifestyle 'so abruptly,'
"On June 1, Benet, 37, filed papers in Los Angeles Superior Court questioning the validity of his prenup. Neither Berry's nor Benet's reps returned calls for comment."
Moving in closer, The Corsair mouths, silently: "It's on ... it's on like Gray Poupon."
"Outside court, however, sources tell Star that Eric has shamelessly brought his daughter into the mix, even threatening to limit Halle's visits with her. Halle and India have been close ever since Halle and Eric became serious in the late '90s. When the couple married in January 2001, Halle accepted India -- whose biological mother died in a car accident when she was a toddler -- as if she were her own. 'I'm all she's got as far as a mother goes,' Berry has said. 'It feels as if she's my own; she calls me 'mommy.'
The Corsair mouths the words, a tear gliding down his downy cheek, 'Mommy.'
" ... Now India appears to be at the center of a divorce battle that has become increasingly bitter in recent weeks, sources say. Benet 'tells Halle that India has gotten used to the way other girls -- rich girls -- dress, act and shop. Therefore, he wants Halle to pay up,' the insider says. 'He pretty much dangled India in front of Halle's nose -- like dangling a carrot in front of a horse -- and when she went to grab it, Eric would pull India back until Halle melted down,' says the friend. For a while these scare tactics seemed to work, but sources say Halle has now had enough. The insider says, 'Halle is hoping any fair judge will see Benet's ploy for what it is and not award him one dime.'"
Eric Benet strikes The Corsair as a lazy, shiftless, lowdown cheating ... musician.
Quick: What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless ...
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Prince. Last week his CD Musicology made 95,000 "sales," although they were really given away to fans that baught tickets. Clever. An innovator in music, and, it appears, an innovator in business.
Out: Joan Rivers. Rivers will be exiting the low rent E! telvision, where she her bitchy red carpet show was one of their highest rated, to go to the television ghetto known as "the TV Guide Channel." As if that weren't appalling enough, Rivers will be performing in Vegas. At her age.
In: The La.com blog's blind items, to wit:
"If a newsmaking relationship between two fine-looking famous names stars implodes with warp speed, you can bet your bottom Dolly the old green-eyed monster caused the split. See, the male member (you should pardon the expression), whose career isn�t exactly going places these days, is mad jealous -- and so suspicious of his hot mama, he demands that she carry a Blackberry, cell phone and pager at all times so he can check on her whereabouts. As if that weren�t wacky enough, he insists that her appointment schedule be faxed to him daily. Now he�s even secretly hired private goons (mostly his out-of-work actor and musician friends) to tail her wherever she goes. The other afternoon, while she was getting waxed, massaged and pampered at that low-profile, celebrity-studded spa, Mr. Insecure phoned and beeped her so many times, the management ordered her to switch off her toys or hit the road. Have you guessed the punchline to this sickly obsessive tale? That�s right, the suspicious dude is actually the one who�s cheating, with an up-and-coming singer/actress."
The posters are saying Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. I'm not so sure about that.
Out: Ashley Olsen. Our favorite socialite, Miu Von Furstenberg, lets the cat out of the bag: "According to Mary Kate's therapist's sister's cousin's housekeeper, Ashley has been secretly stealing Mary Kate's food for years."
In: Page Six snagged Pat O'Brien's parting Access Hollywood email:
"PAGE SIX has obtained an eviscerating e-mail O'Brien sent to (Shaun) Robinson after he accepted his new job last week. Here are some highlights:
"'Shaun . . . Your behavior to me over the past few years has been a sickening joke. From the day you called [former NBC Enterprises president] Ed Wilson and said I was creating a hostile situation . . . to last week when you went postal on my friend and accused me of an affair . . . and talked to me like a five-year-old gang member.
"'I have never known anybody so disliked in a newsroom and it's well deserved. You push people to the limits and you are so needy and demanding . . . it is scary.
"'This is tough love, Shaun. You have the worst reputation I've ever seen in the business . . . and your constant attempt to get me fired was such a joke to everybody it was hard to contain the laughter.
"'But now I am gone . . . and you made my departure so easy . . . I've never worked with anybody so conflicted and sad and insecure and so needy. They all know it . . . and it must be sad for you to realize that you are literally hated by most . . . Don't you EVER EVER make things up about me. Don't you EVER EVER tell your friends I'm a bad employee . . .
"'People laugh at you. But they are afraid of your always taking the race card . . . You'll always be a little person that people feel sorry for . . . You cannot believe how much you are disliked. Try and repair it . . . or you'll be back in local news before you know it . . . with no wardrobe people to yell at every day. 'Did [co-host] Nancy [O'Dell] get that, I WANT THAT.' Pathetic. BuhBye . . . And have a great, miserable life. Pat.'"
Damn. How is Pat ever going to become Governor of South Dakota -- a job he secretly covets -- with that cosmic degree of bitchiness going on?
In: Prince. Last week his CD Musicology made 95,000 "sales," although they were really given away to fans that baught tickets. Clever. An innovator in music, and, it appears, an innovator in business.
Out: Joan Rivers. Rivers will be exiting the low rent E! telvision, where she her bitchy red carpet show was one of their highest rated, to go to the television ghetto known as "the TV Guide Channel." As if that weren't appalling enough, Rivers will be performing in Vegas. At her age.
In: The La.com blog's blind items, to wit:
"If a newsmaking relationship between two fine-looking famous names stars implodes with warp speed, you can bet your bottom Dolly the old green-eyed monster caused the split. See, the male member (you should pardon the expression), whose career isn�t exactly going places these days, is mad jealous -- and so suspicious of his hot mama, he demands that she carry a Blackberry, cell phone and pager at all times so he can check on her whereabouts. As if that weren�t wacky enough, he insists that her appointment schedule be faxed to him daily. Now he�s even secretly hired private goons (mostly his out-of-work actor and musician friends) to tail her wherever she goes. The other afternoon, while she was getting waxed, massaged and pampered at that low-profile, celebrity-studded spa, Mr. Insecure phoned and beeped her so many times, the management ordered her to switch off her toys or hit the road. Have you guessed the punchline to this sickly obsessive tale? That�s right, the suspicious dude is actually the one who�s cheating, with an up-and-coming singer/actress."
The posters are saying Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. I'm not so sure about that.
Out: Ashley Olsen. Our favorite socialite, Miu Von Furstenberg, lets the cat out of the bag: "According to Mary Kate's therapist's sister's cousin's housekeeper, Ashley has been secretly stealing Mary Kate's food for years."
In: Page Six snagged Pat O'Brien's parting Access Hollywood email:
"PAGE SIX has obtained an eviscerating e-mail O'Brien sent to (Shaun) Robinson after he accepted his new job last week. Here are some highlights:
"'Shaun . . . Your behavior to me over the past few years has been a sickening joke. From the day you called [former NBC Enterprises president] Ed Wilson and said I was creating a hostile situation . . . to last week when you went postal on my friend and accused me of an affair . . . and talked to me like a five-year-old gang member.
"'I have never known anybody so disliked in a newsroom and it's well deserved. You push people to the limits and you are so needy and demanding . . . it is scary.
"'This is tough love, Shaun. You have the worst reputation I've ever seen in the business . . . and your constant attempt to get me fired was such a joke to everybody it was hard to contain the laughter.
"'But now I am gone . . . and you made my departure so easy . . . I've never worked with anybody so conflicted and sad and insecure and so needy. They all know it . . . and it must be sad for you to realize that you are literally hated by most . . . Don't you EVER EVER make things up about me. Don't you EVER EVER tell your friends I'm a bad employee . . .
"'People laugh at you. But they are afraid of your always taking the race card . . . You'll always be a little person that people feel sorry for . . . You cannot believe how much you are disliked. Try and repair it . . . or you'll be back in local news before you know it . . . with no wardrobe people to yell at every day. 'Did [co-host] Nancy [O'Dell] get that, I WANT THAT.' Pathetic. BuhBye . . . And have a great, miserable life. Pat.'"
Damn. How is Pat ever going to become Governor of South Dakota -- a job he secretly covets -- with that cosmic degree of bitchiness going on?
Entourage versus Entourage: P Diddy v Jesus
As I noted in the past, entourages have had a risorgimento. The Corsair would like to compare and contrast two of the more influential entourages in the past, oh, say, two millennia or so, namely: P Diddy's and Jesus Christ's.
Violence? Both entourages have caused a ruckus at one time or another. P Diddy's entourage poked NY Times Boldface columnist Joyce Wadler in the ribs. That's pretty roughneck, but JC has P Diddy beat: Peter, one of the leaders of Christ's entourage, sliced off the ear of Roman soldier Malchus -- and JC healed him! Cause Jesus is cool.
VIPs? JC has got P Diddy beat again. It goes without saying that P Diddy bestrides the earth on CP time, and is it well known that he basically unhooks any velvet rope that bars entry for him and his crew into whatever VIP event. He's old school like that. The velvet rope is not an impediment to having his drink on, fa sure, nah mean? That's cool: but JC is cooler. Pearly gates? No problem. JC can get his entourage into the most exclusive club of them all: heaven!
And, finally: Influence? Well, P Diddy's entourage is blazing with bling-bling, up and coming rappers, publicists and beefy former bouncers. But what about the future? What do these guys do after the gravy train dries up? Quite possibly 3 to 5 in Sing Sing. (Kidding. Can''t you guys take a joke about The Diddy? Sheesh.)
Anyhoo: The influence of JCs crew goes as far and wide as sub-saharan Africa, Central and South America and Western civilization, through the Early desert fathers, through the scholastic monks of the Medieval era, to the Roman Catholic Church, to the Protestants up to today's Evangelicals.
So, The Corsair concludes that Jesus of Nazereth had a cooler entourage than the P, I double D. Respect.
As I noted in the past, entourages have had a risorgimento. The Corsair would like to compare and contrast two of the more influential entourages in the past, oh, say, two millennia or so, namely: P Diddy's and Jesus Christ's.
Violence? Both entourages have caused a ruckus at one time or another. P Diddy's entourage poked NY Times Boldface columnist Joyce Wadler in the ribs. That's pretty roughneck, but JC has P Diddy beat: Peter, one of the leaders of Christ's entourage, sliced off the ear of Roman soldier Malchus -- and JC healed him! Cause Jesus is cool.
VIPs? JC has got P Diddy beat again. It goes without saying that P Diddy bestrides the earth on CP time, and is it well known that he basically unhooks any velvet rope that bars entry for him and his crew into whatever VIP event. He's old school like that. The velvet rope is not an impediment to having his drink on, fa sure, nah mean? That's cool: but JC is cooler. Pearly gates? No problem. JC can get his entourage into the most exclusive club of them all: heaven!
And, finally: Influence? Well, P Diddy's entourage is blazing with bling-bling, up and coming rappers, publicists and beefy former bouncers. But what about the future? What do these guys do after the gravy train dries up? Quite possibly 3 to 5 in Sing Sing. (Kidding. Can''t you guys take a joke about The Diddy? Sheesh.)
Anyhoo: The influence of JCs crew goes as far and wide as sub-saharan Africa, Central and South America and Western civilization, through the Early desert fathers, through the scholastic monks of the Medieval era, to the Roman Catholic Church, to the Protestants up to today's Evangelicals.
So, The Corsair concludes that Jesus of Nazereth had a cooler entourage than the P, I double D. Respect.
Esquire Magazine: Sex and Violence
Lloyd Grove's Lowdown, which is really bringing out the competitive edge in the tabloid wars, brings up the subject of Esky, that seemingly innocuous men's magazine that most of the chattering class believe went defunct in the Clinton era:
"Comic novelist Christopher Buckley, in a former life the managing editor of Esquire magazine, is not a fan of the current Esquire, edited by David Granger.
"'I picked up Esquire not too long ago, and I was just appalled,' Buckley, an old friend of mine and today the editor of Forbes FYI, tells the latest Doublethink magazine. 'I opened it at random to a sex column, and I won't even quote what was being discussed. It was something out of Sex and the City."
"Buckley rages on: 'This was the magazine I started at. It was founded by Arnold Gingrich, edited by Harold Hayes, for which Tom Wolfe and Gay Talese had written their seminal pieces. And it's become a t-t book.'"
Well, I have issues with Esky as well, but not because it is becoming a tit book. In the July 2004 edition they have a feature called "Five Minute Guide to Surviving Anything," by James kendall and Anya Strzmien, about how to survive nightmare scenarios. Very alpha male, this feature. And: It is morbid like "all get out."
Under Lightning, it says, "Avoid." Gee. Thanks, Esky.
Under A Falling Elevator, it says, "Jumping at the last second? Not a chance."
Fuck. That was my strategy to a tee. It goes on, depressingly:
"Lie flat on your stomach with your mouth open and your head on your hands. This way your spine's off the floor, and when you're rendered unconscious, you'll breathe a bit better. Anything soft you can put underneath your body will be beneficial, but this is going to happen pretty fast."
Gee, thanks dude, but something about that "WHEN you're rendered unconscious" statement just strikes me as, well, it strikes me as a tad pessimistic. Can't we change it to, "IF you're rendered unconscious," or something? That would be pleasant.
Under the unfortunate category, "A Bullet to the Gut," they write:
"Lie down on your back and elevate your legs about six inches."
Now, let's say you get into a little frisson with the Netas. You get the proverbial "bullet to the gut." It's not a good time for you, you're coming from an angry place just about then. At what point during the massive blood flow and girl-like squeals for help do you find the quiet time to "stop, drop, and do some hatha yoga." They go on, failing to catch the irony:
"Use a coat or blanket to keep your body temperature up. Minimize movement. If you can't breathe, sit up slightly, resting your elbows. There's nothing you can do to stop internal bleeding, but if you sit or stand up, gravity's going to make your blood pour right out."
The Corsair contemplates the mystery of people who subscribe to Esquire Magazine
And, finally, under "An Alligator Attack":
"If a big alligator wants you,"
The Corsair shivers
"If a big alligator wants you, it probably won't let go. Hit it in the eyes and nose. When it starts rolling and shaking, that's when your in trouble."
What the fuck?! At that point -- the point of "rolling and shaking" in the maws of the beast -- that's when I know I'm in trouble?! As if the moment an alligator started chasing me, It was all Swayze.
To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, Christopher Buckley is right, Esquire should not be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.
Lloyd Grove's Lowdown, which is really bringing out the competitive edge in the tabloid wars, brings up the subject of Esky, that seemingly innocuous men's magazine that most of the chattering class believe went defunct in the Clinton era:
"Comic novelist Christopher Buckley, in a former life the managing editor of Esquire magazine, is not a fan of the current Esquire, edited by David Granger.
"'I picked up Esquire not too long ago, and I was just appalled,' Buckley, an old friend of mine and today the editor of Forbes FYI, tells the latest Doublethink magazine. 'I opened it at random to a sex column, and I won't even quote what was being discussed. It was something out of Sex and the City."
"Buckley rages on: 'This was the magazine I started at. It was founded by Arnold Gingrich, edited by Harold Hayes, for which Tom Wolfe and Gay Talese had written their seminal pieces. And it's become a t-t book.'"
Well, I have issues with Esky as well, but not because it is becoming a tit book. In the July 2004 edition they have a feature called "Five Minute Guide to Surviving Anything," by James kendall and Anya Strzmien, about how to survive nightmare scenarios. Very alpha male, this feature. And: It is morbid like "all get out."
Under Lightning, it says, "Avoid." Gee. Thanks, Esky.
Under A Falling Elevator, it says, "Jumping at the last second? Not a chance."
Fuck. That was my strategy to a tee. It goes on, depressingly:
"Lie flat on your stomach with your mouth open and your head on your hands. This way your spine's off the floor, and when you're rendered unconscious, you'll breathe a bit better. Anything soft you can put underneath your body will be beneficial, but this is going to happen pretty fast."
Gee, thanks dude, but something about that "WHEN you're rendered unconscious" statement just strikes me as, well, it strikes me as a tad pessimistic. Can't we change it to, "IF you're rendered unconscious," or something? That would be pleasant.
Under the unfortunate category, "A Bullet to the Gut," they write:
"Lie down on your back and elevate your legs about six inches."
Now, let's say you get into a little frisson with the Netas. You get the proverbial "bullet to the gut." It's not a good time for you, you're coming from an angry place just about then. At what point during the massive blood flow and girl-like squeals for help do you find the quiet time to "stop, drop, and do some hatha yoga." They go on, failing to catch the irony:
"Use a coat or blanket to keep your body temperature up. Minimize movement. If you can't breathe, sit up slightly, resting your elbows. There's nothing you can do to stop internal bleeding, but if you sit or stand up, gravity's going to make your blood pour right out."
The Corsair contemplates the mystery of people who subscribe to Esquire Magazine
And, finally, under "An Alligator Attack":
"If a big alligator wants you,"
The Corsair shivers
"If a big alligator wants you, it probably won't let go. Hit it in the eyes and nose. When it starts rolling and shaking, that's when your in trouble."
What the fuck?! At that point -- the point of "rolling and shaking" in the maws of the beast -- that's when I know I'm in trouble?! As if the moment an alligator started chasing me, It was all Swayze.
To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, Christopher Buckley is right, Esquire should not be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Jemima and Imran Khan Split Up: Jet Set in Chaos
First the death of Egon Von Furstenberg, now this. Lord, I implore thee (sips from Cutty Sark), spare the jet set any more pain! Jet set poster couple Imran and Jemima Khan have said their goodbyes, according to Hello!:
"British socialite Jemima Khan has split up from her husband, cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan, nine years after their 1995 wedding."
A translucent tear gently, aristocratically glides down The Corsair's fuzzy cheek, like a sailboat navigating the breakers of the Tyrranean Sea.
"A spokesperson for the political party which Imran founded in Pakistan said, 'Imran and Jemima have ended their marriage.' The comment came just two months after Imran quashed rumours that the marriage was in trouble and insisted that Jemima was simply studying in Britain but would be returning to Pakistan after completing her degree."
The Corsair lowers his head bangs his keyboard and mouths the words: 'Why'?
"Jemima's move back to London from Lahore last year with the couple's two young boys, Suleiman and Qassim, had caused speculation about state of their marriage.
"Once back in the UK, she was able to take up her studies again and to renew the kind of social life which she had always enjoyed as the daughter of the late billionaire tycoon James Goldsmith."
The Corsair pours himself a stiff double shot of Cutty Sark looking longingly at the screen.
"While Imran pursued his political ambitions, he was frequently absent from family life and it was noted that he did not appear for Jemima's 30th birthday earlier this year."
The Corsair knocks back the shot lightening fast.
"Last month, Imran's former girlfriend Sita White died in Los Angeles at the age of 43, leaving their 12-year-old daughter Tyrian apparently to his care. But it has since emerged that she made a change to her will shortly before her untimely death, specifying that Tyrian should be left in Jemima's custody, not Imran's.
"Tyrian had spent her summer holidays with Jemima and the boys in London after the two women struck up an email friendship three years ago. It appears that Sita preferred her daughter not to be brought up in Pakistan."
"Non omnia vincit amor, " says the Corsair as he stares distractedly into the sunset.
First the death of Egon Von Furstenberg, now this. Lord, I implore thee (sips from Cutty Sark), spare the jet set any more pain! Jet set poster couple Imran and Jemima Khan have said their goodbyes, according to Hello!:
"British socialite Jemima Khan has split up from her husband, cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan, nine years after their 1995 wedding."
A translucent tear gently, aristocratically glides down The Corsair's fuzzy cheek, like a sailboat navigating the breakers of the Tyrranean Sea.
"A spokesperson for the political party which Imran founded in Pakistan said, 'Imran and Jemima have ended their marriage.' The comment came just two months after Imran quashed rumours that the marriage was in trouble and insisted that Jemima was simply studying in Britain but would be returning to Pakistan after completing her degree."
The Corsair lowers his head bangs his keyboard and mouths the words: 'Why'?
"Jemima's move back to London from Lahore last year with the couple's two young boys, Suleiman and Qassim, had caused speculation about state of their marriage.
"Once back in the UK, she was able to take up her studies again and to renew the kind of social life which she had always enjoyed as the daughter of the late billionaire tycoon James Goldsmith."
The Corsair pours himself a stiff double shot of Cutty Sark looking longingly at the screen.
"While Imran pursued his political ambitions, he was frequently absent from family life and it was noted that he did not appear for Jemima's 30th birthday earlier this year."
The Corsair knocks back the shot lightening fast.
"Last month, Imran's former girlfriend Sita White died in Los Angeles at the age of 43, leaving their 12-year-old daughter Tyrian apparently to his care. But it has since emerged that she made a change to her will shortly before her untimely death, specifying that Tyrian should be left in Jemima's custody, not Imran's.
"Tyrian had spent her summer holidays with Jemima and the boys in London after the two women struck up an email friendship three years ago. It appears that Sita preferred her daughter not to be brought up in Pakistan."
"Non omnia vincit amor, " says the Corsair as he stares distractedly into the sunset.
Christina Aguilera Hits the Jackpot
Christina Aguilera, according to the 3AM Girls, plans to make some serious scratch overseas doing promotional work. A source tells them:
"'Christina doesn't need to do any promotional work as she's probably the hottest singer around right now. She receives dozens of requests each week but turns the majority of them down flat.'"
The Corsair sniffs.
"Even so, the opportunity to follow stars such as Pierce Brosnan, Sophia Loren, Victoria Beckham ... by opening the Knightsbridge store's summer sale was too good to resist.
"'Christina will be receiving ($366,199) for her duties, which include cutting the ribbon, making a welcome speech and attending a VIP breakfast with Harrods executives,' our informer reveals."
The Corsair slowly munches unsalted popcorn, fascinated:
"'She'll be in London for two days but her official duties will take no more than two hours.' And while ($183,099) an hour to schmooze with Harrods boss Mohammed Al Fayed may seem good money, Christina still wants more.
"'She's requested that a private jet be sent to pick her up from her home in California,' adds our source.
"And the diva demands don't stop there. 'She has to stay in a penthouse - she doesn't really care where it is as long as it's five-star quality.'
"'Christina has also asked for 10 bottles of room-temperature mineral water, which can be any brand except Evian.'"
Below are the other perks XTina requested, and remember: The Cheese must not contain canola oil:
-Private jet to and from her home in California.
-Luxury penthouse - must be five-star quality.
-Personal tour of Harrods store bargains before public are let in.
-Ten bottles of room temperature bottled water - any brand except Evian.
-Full-fat soy milk and cheese (must not contain canola oil, barley, oats or malt of any kind).
-Pottery coffee mugs - not plastic - with a selection of fruit teas.
-Platter of organic fresh fruit.
-Several bottles of vodka.
-Veuve Clicquot champagne - must be non-vintage.
-Several bottles of wine of specific grape varieties.
Christina Aguilera, according to the 3AM Girls, plans to make some serious scratch overseas doing promotional work. A source tells them:
"'Christina doesn't need to do any promotional work as she's probably the hottest singer around right now. She receives dozens of requests each week but turns the majority of them down flat.'"
The Corsair sniffs.
"Even so, the opportunity to follow stars such as Pierce Brosnan, Sophia Loren, Victoria Beckham ... by opening the Knightsbridge store's summer sale was too good to resist.
"'Christina will be receiving ($366,199) for her duties, which include cutting the ribbon, making a welcome speech and attending a VIP breakfast with Harrods executives,' our informer reveals."
The Corsair slowly munches unsalted popcorn, fascinated:
"'She'll be in London for two days but her official duties will take no more than two hours.' And while ($183,099) an hour to schmooze with Harrods boss Mohammed Al Fayed may seem good money, Christina still wants more.
"'She's requested that a private jet be sent to pick her up from her home in California,' adds our source.
"And the diva demands don't stop there. 'She has to stay in a penthouse - she doesn't really care where it is as long as it's five-star quality.'
"'Christina has also asked for 10 bottles of room-temperature mineral water, which can be any brand except Evian.'"
Below are the other perks XTina requested, and remember: The Cheese must not contain canola oil:
-Private jet to and from her home in California.
-Luxury penthouse - must be five-star quality.
-Personal tour of Harrods store bargains before public are let in.
-Ten bottles of room temperature bottled water - any brand except Evian.
-Full-fat soy milk and cheese (must not contain canola oil, barley, oats or malt of any kind).
-Pottery coffee mugs - not plastic - with a selection of fruit teas.
-Platter of organic fresh fruit.
-Several bottles of vodka.
-Veuve Clicquot champagne - must be non-vintage.
-Several bottles of wine of specific grape varieties.
The Veepstakes Reaches Fever Pitch
TheDrudgereport declares today, joyously, "Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, favors John Edwards for the second slot on the party's presidential ticket, tops sources tell the DRUDGE REPORT.
"In recent days, McAuliffe, who initially favored Edwards for the second slot in 2000, has been confiding in associates how the North Carolina senator is the strongest contender to lift Kerry to complete victory in the fall."
While this will probably exert mild pressure on the moribund Kerry campaign (The Corsair yawns) to make a decision, like -- shnell, we cannot fail to note what the excellent Page Six reported recently:
"WE weren't totally accurate in predicting three months ago that Sen. John Kerry would dump Terry McAuliffe as chairman of the Democratic National Committee. McAuliffe continues to hold the title. But sources say Kerry has installed John Sasso, a loyalist from Boston, as his key man at the DNC. 'No checks are written until Sasso signs off. No decisions are made until Sasso says so,' said one Democrat. 'Terry McAuliffe was told to take it, or take a hike. And he's taking it.' McAuliffe, a multimillionaire from Syracuse, was hand-picked by Bill Clinton and has remained under the influence of Sen. Hillary Clinton. Sasso was a top advisor to Michael Dukakis and then a lobbyist in Beantown. 'He is totally loyal to Kerry,' said our source."
So, McAuliffe can only exert mild but not crucial force on the party. As a countervailing force, however, Hans Nichols of the Hill today reports, "longtime loyalists of Rep. Dick Gephardt (D-Mo.) are whipping up signatures on their own letter to Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), urging the presumptive Democratic nominee to choose the former minority leader as his vice-presidential candidate.
"Drafted in response to a secretive letter by 22 supporters of Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.), the Gephardt partisans said they wanted to show the Kerry campaign of Gephardt�?s deep support among a cross-section of his House colleagues.
"Late last week, Reps. Gene Green (D-Texas) and Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) wrote separate letters to the Kerry campaign and then took them to the floor to gather signatures in support of their onetime leader."
Fuck. This cannot be good. A Midwest strategy is flawed: labor is not as powerful as it once was -- look at how Kerry and Edwards punked out the labor-supported Dean and Gephardt in Iowa. Labor -- as a political lobby -- is in decline. That having been said, I have to give the edge right now to Gephardt, who is a good man, but a magnum of chloroform. Just typing his name made me sleepy. And the Kerry campaign is, to borrow from Michiko Kakutani, "sloppy, self-indulgent and eye-crossingly dull." Gephardt is an honest decent man, but he is not the man Kerry needs. Kerry himself is, next to Al Gore, one of the worst Democratic campaigners. he needs a fireball, and Edwards is that fireball.
I give the edge to labor darling Gephardt, however, because of the union problems that could proveembarrassingg at the Democratic convention in Boston, as the Globe says:
"It is a scene out of old Boston, old labor, old politics. You can smell the cigar smoke, even though no one is actually smoking one. You can imagine the leg-breaking, even if none actually takes place. It is the kind of old-fashioned, old-style labor politics that turns off young and independent voters. Could the timing be worse? At the very moment the nation is celebrating the memory of a president who stared down labor in the form of air traffic controllers, Democrats are celebrating union thugs?
"The stand-off between the Boston Police Patrolmen's Association and the City of Boston is not just a problem for Menino. It is a microcosm of a larger problem for Democrats. It showcases their longstanding genuflection to labor, no matter how bad labor makes the party look."
Gephardt could be a concession to the labor bosses to stand down.
Still, the Veepstakes is hott, especially considering the new USA Today editorial to axe Cheney in favor of the usual suspects -- Giuliani, Powell and McCain (hot damn, would a McCain Veep candidacy fuck up John Kerry's universe in generalandd the Democratic southwest strategy specifically).
TheDrudgereport declares today, joyously, "Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, favors John Edwards for the second slot on the party's presidential ticket, tops sources tell the DRUDGE REPORT.
"In recent days, McAuliffe, who initially favored Edwards for the second slot in 2000, has been confiding in associates how the North Carolina senator is the strongest contender to lift Kerry to complete victory in the fall."
While this will probably exert mild pressure on the moribund Kerry campaign (The Corsair yawns) to make a decision, like -- shnell, we cannot fail to note what the excellent Page Six reported recently:
"WE weren't totally accurate in predicting three months ago that Sen. John Kerry would dump Terry McAuliffe as chairman of the Democratic National Committee. McAuliffe continues to hold the title. But sources say Kerry has installed John Sasso, a loyalist from Boston, as his key man at the DNC. 'No checks are written until Sasso signs off. No decisions are made until Sasso says so,' said one Democrat. 'Terry McAuliffe was told to take it, or take a hike. And he's taking it.' McAuliffe, a multimillionaire from Syracuse, was hand-picked by Bill Clinton and has remained under the influence of Sen. Hillary Clinton. Sasso was a top advisor to Michael Dukakis and then a lobbyist in Beantown. 'He is totally loyal to Kerry,' said our source."
So, McAuliffe can only exert mild but not crucial force on the party. As a countervailing force, however, Hans Nichols of the Hill today reports, "longtime loyalists of Rep. Dick Gephardt (D-Mo.) are whipping up signatures on their own letter to Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), urging the presumptive Democratic nominee to choose the former minority leader as his vice-presidential candidate.
"Drafted in response to a secretive letter by 22 supporters of Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.), the Gephardt partisans said they wanted to show the Kerry campaign of Gephardt�?s deep support among a cross-section of his House colleagues.
"Late last week, Reps. Gene Green (D-Texas) and Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) wrote separate letters to the Kerry campaign and then took them to the floor to gather signatures in support of their onetime leader."
Fuck. This cannot be good. A Midwest strategy is flawed: labor is not as powerful as it once was -- look at how Kerry and Edwards punked out the labor-supported Dean and Gephardt in Iowa. Labor -- as a political lobby -- is in decline. That having been said, I have to give the edge right now to Gephardt, who is a good man, but a magnum of chloroform. Just typing his name made me sleepy. And the Kerry campaign is, to borrow from Michiko Kakutani, "sloppy, self-indulgent and eye-crossingly dull." Gephardt is an honest decent man, but he is not the man Kerry needs. Kerry himself is, next to Al Gore, one of the worst Democratic campaigners. he needs a fireball, and Edwards is that fireball.
I give the edge to labor darling Gephardt, however, because of the union problems that could proveembarrassingg at the Democratic convention in Boston, as the Globe says:
"It is a scene out of old Boston, old labor, old politics. You can smell the cigar smoke, even though no one is actually smoking one. You can imagine the leg-breaking, even if none actually takes place. It is the kind of old-fashioned, old-style labor politics that turns off young and independent voters. Could the timing be worse? At the very moment the nation is celebrating the memory of a president who stared down labor in the form of air traffic controllers, Democrats are celebrating union thugs?
"The stand-off between the Boston Police Patrolmen's Association and the City of Boston is not just a problem for Menino. It is a microcosm of a larger problem for Democrats. It showcases their longstanding genuflection to labor, no matter how bad labor makes the party look."
Gephardt could be a concession to the labor bosses to stand down.
Still, the Veepstakes is hott, especially considering the new USA Today editorial to axe Cheney in favor of the usual suspects -- Giuliani, Powell and McCain (hot damn, would a McCain Veep candidacy fuck up John Kerry's universe in generalandd the Democratic southwest strategy specifically).
Corsair Exclusive: The Corsair Interviews New Jersey
After several frustrated attempts, we were finally granted this important historical moment. So, without further ado, we proudly present for the first time: a electronic interview with The State of New Jersey:
The Corsair: So pleased to meet you. Thank you for talking to me. Buon Giorno.
NJ: Yeah, hey, Bon Jovi to you too, kid.
New Jersey: Were the directions adequate?
The Corsair: Quite. You told me to turn at the smokestack.
NJ: Right. To get to Jersey, just turn at the smokestack. It's a no brainer.
The Corsair: (Awkward silence) So ... how about the environment?
NJ: (All Aggro) Is that supposed to be a crack?
The Corsair: (Frightened) No, no ... don't be so defensive, New Jersey. You have a lot to be proud of.
NJ: Damn right I do. Atlantic City. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Mike Tyson. Princeton. The Bruce.
The Corsair: (Confused) Willis or Springsteen?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...
The Corsair: Are you going to vote Republican or Democrat this election. Will you leave the blue state category? This is what political wonks are talking about.
NJ: (Proudly) Everyone wants ta know.
The Corsair: So?
NJ: (Righteously) Let me tell you a little about myself. I have always been in the long shadows of New York. They became the media capitol, and I became the ugly red headed stepchild. It was a callow youth.
The Corsair: Shall I play a violin cadenza?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...!
The Corsair: But you are leaning towards Bush, no?
NJ: Regaining composure) Yes, We are. Too long have we been in the shadows of New York. We have had misfortunes. We are raring for revolt. John Kerry better not take us for granted.
The Corsair: Thanks for talking to me.
NJ: (Full of New Jersey sarcasm) Sure thing, buttercup.
After several frustrated attempts, we were finally granted this important historical moment. So, without further ado, we proudly present for the first time: a electronic interview with The State of New Jersey:
The Corsair: So pleased to meet you. Thank you for talking to me. Buon Giorno.
NJ: Yeah, hey, Bon Jovi to you too, kid.
New Jersey: Were the directions adequate?
The Corsair: Quite. You told me to turn at the smokestack.
NJ: Right. To get to Jersey, just turn at the smokestack. It's a no brainer.
The Corsair: (Awkward silence) So ... how about the environment?
NJ: (All Aggro) Is that supposed to be a crack?
The Corsair: (Frightened) No, no ... don't be so defensive, New Jersey. You have a lot to be proud of.
NJ: Damn right I do. Atlantic City. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Mike Tyson. Princeton. The Bruce.
The Corsair: (Confused) Willis or Springsteen?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...
The Corsair: Are you going to vote Republican or Democrat this election. Will you leave the blue state category? This is what political wonks are talking about.
NJ: (Proudly) Everyone wants ta know.
The Corsair: So?
NJ: (Righteously) Let me tell you a little about myself. I have always been in the long shadows of New York. They became the media capitol, and I became the ugly red headed stepchild. It was a callow youth.
The Corsair: Shall I play a violin cadenza?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...!
The Corsair: But you are leaning towards Bush, no?
NJ: Regaining composure) Yes, We are. Too long have we been in the shadows of New York. We have had misfortunes. We are raring for revolt. John Kerry better not take us for granted.
The Corsair: Thanks for talking to me.
NJ: (Full of New Jersey sarcasm) Sure thing, buttercup.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Republican Scandals. Nipping on the heels of Republican governor Rowland's resignation, like a Spaniel in search of a robust head rubbing, Republican Senate nominee Jack Ryan of Illinois is reeling from a mini (read: "non") scandal of his own, according to the Chicago Tribune (link via Wonkette):
"Republican U.S. Senate nominee Jack Ryan's ex-wife, TV actress Jeri Ryan, accused him of taking her to sex clubs in New York and Paris, where he tried to coerce her into having sex with him in front of strangers, according to records released Monday from the couple's California divorce file."
Jeri Ryan played Seven of Nine on the Star Trek series, so, if I were a Machiavellian Dick Morris type, I'd be trying to spin this as a positive for the geek set. Hard to feel sorry for that ass, though, as Ryan has had operatives stalking his opponent, State Senator Obama, with a digital camera, in search of some scandalous footage. Karmic repercussions are a bitch, no?
Fuck: Breaking News: TheSmokingGun has already posted their divorce papers. Shit, didn't Kierkegaard predict that the media in a democracy would turn out like this?
Out: Britney Spears. As if it isn't bad enough that she has had knee surgery, her mom ran over a stalkerazzi. Mowed his ass down. Ka-Pow! The Sun reports:
"The panic-stricken singer sat in the car screaming and crying after the accident.
"Mascara running down her cheeks, she screamed: 'Oh no, oh no. Mom, Mom,' after her mother Lynne, who was driving the hulking motor, ploughed into the photographer."
But to look at the photographs of the incident, the photographer doesn't really look that hurt. He's kind of lounging. Cold lounging, actually, with only a faint touch of scowl about the lips, he appears to be a man secure in the knowledge that he will soon be a very rich man.
In: Interracial-Interreligious love (link via Wonkette). New celebrity couple Richard Gere and Al Sharpton got lost in the oceans of each others eyes. Who needs alleged billionaire supermodel Cindy Crawford when you've got the Rev. Al, a saucy leftist Christian preacher; and Richard's a Tibetan Buddhist, though he used to be just a gigolo. But "love" conquers all. You go, guys.
Out: According to the soon to be Conde Nast imprint Kerrang! Magazine (via Ananova) -- (averted gaze), Sharon Osbourne is the most important person in rock. The Devil is the second most important in rock, "because the devil has all the best tunes" (But, The Corsair notes, "God gave Rock and roll to everyone". And Justin Hawkins of The Darkness is fourth for 'single-handedly putting the fun back into rock.' Any list including Justin Hawkins is definitely not an inclusion meriting boastfulness.
In: Celebrity pregnancy. People Magazine (link via Ananova) is reporting that Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon are preggers. The celebrity fertility trend continues apace.
And now, A Fly on the Wall Blog (link via Defamer) hints that Demi might also be knocked up:
"Demi Moore has told her agents at CAA that she thinks she's pregnant, according to a Fly spy inside the agency.
"Moore recently quit smoking, and reportedly told several friends she had done so because she was trying to have another child.
"Demi's boytoy Ashton Kutcher is said to be the father. No word yet if they'll marry to save the child from bastardy."
Out: The Madonna ticket strategy, according to perennial Corsair favorite Michael Musto, "... And here's why the MADONNA, I mean Madge, I mean Esther, concerts supposedly had so many empty seats till the last minute: Flacks hyped it as 'sold out' from day one! You figured, 'Why bother even calling for tickets?' (That's one theory.)" It sounds just about right to me.
In: That significant cultural artifact, Star Magazine, interviews J.O. Batton, "Unlike last season, when (Paris and Nicole) bunked on the Leding family porch, the girls shared a spare bedroom in the cozy home that Batton shares with his 26-year-old son Travis and daughter-in-law Aimee. Everyone shared one bathroom. Cowboy Batten, 57, clearly enjoyed his time with the girls, who even talked him into trying on his chaps with nothing on underneath: 'I'm in pretty good shape,' he says. 'We were discussing my tight buns. They liked 'em.' Here's how J.O. rates his houseguests, from 1 (dreadful) to 10 (dynamite):
"7 STRENGTH
"It didn't look like they could lift a 50-pound feed bag."
The Corsair softly chuckles
"3 PAIN TOLERANCE
"Paris' is very, very low. Nicole didn't do anything to get hurt."
"8 INTELLIGENCE
"Neither one of them is dumb. Both are relatively intelligent girls."
Yes, and relatively speaking, J.O.'s observations on the life of the mind are, well -- not quite Seth Benardete material. Check out the J.O.'s other ratings, relatively speaking, of course.
In: Defamer Sightings:
"... Lunching at Orso in walks Larry King meeting his much younger and very blonde wife and a random young guy couldn't tell if he was wearing any diapers under his Paper Denim and Cloth jeans which look so out of place on a man in his 70s but hey I guess he can do whatever he wants. He also looked very very thin.
"... Next to his table was Morgan Fairchild dining with a female friend. Morgan was fully done up with her white blonde hair and pale face makeup she was there for a while she made eye contact with me several times like she was bored with her lunch date and was seeing what everyone else was doing.
"... was grocery shopping at pavilions in west hollywood and in front of me in line was e!'s gossip columnist Ted Casablanca. it looked as though ted-babe had just come from the gym. he was wearing a loose scoop necked tank top baggy shorts. he had grey chest hair and under developed calves. he was buying among other things, tins of cat food, a bag of kitty litter and sensodyne toothpaste which I assume is for him, not his cat."
Too funny, but, to be honest, Hollywood doesn't seem as glamorous after reading the defamer sightings. Then again, that's the purpose.
Out: Al Quaeda, obsessed with degrading the miracle of human life into meat, beheaded the South Korean captive today, reports the AP:
"An Iraqi militant group has beheaded its South Korean hostage, Al-Jazeera television reported Tuesday.
"The pan-Arab station said it had received a videotape showing that Kim Sun-il had been executed.
"Kim, 33, worked for a South Korean company supplying the U.S. military in Iraq and was abducted last week, according to the South Korean government.
"Al-Jazeera, which had not broadcast the tape, said the execution was carried out by the al-Qaida-linked group Monotheism and Jihad."
This will be a nightmare for US-South Korean relations which, recently, have been strained over US military and diplomatic heavy handedness to the neighboring North Korean regime. As the Christian Science Monitor notes:
"... Such ambivalence reflects widespread uncertainty here at a time when the (South Korean) government is pursuing reconciliation with North Korea against pressure from conservatives who see little if any sign of concessions or progress in negotiations. The result is that South Koreans, from student demonstrators to government advisers, send mixed signals that reflect deep disagreement on how to deal with the US alliance as well as North Korea.
"'It is a very complex issue,' says Kim Tae Woo. 'The official statements are very simple. They are saying this is due to a global plan and there should be no security vacuum on the Korean peninsula.'
"Mr. Kim concedes the validity of that argument but also believes the US decision to scale back here is 'in response to the anti-American movement'"
That movement will draw steam from the beheading. Although the United States offered South Korea an $11 billion bribe to "strengthen defenses" against North Korea, the US has downsized troop strength in the DMZ to fortify Iraq and Afghanistan in the War on terror. Watch to see how South Korean internal opinion reacts to this tragic news carefully, dear readers.
In: Marc Jacobs, according to Fashionweekdaily:
"Marc Jacobs, firmly in the creative driving seat at Louis Vuitton, will be launching a new jewelry line this fall, inspired by the charm bracelets he created for the last several Vuitton ready-to-wear runway shows.
"Yves Carcelle, President of Louis Vuitton, confirmed the news today in Milan.
"'We will put a complete line of jewelry on the market by September,' announced Carcelle, who was in town to celebrate the opening of Louis Vuittons shiny new boutique in the citys historic Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II."
And be sure to check out one of my other gigs.
In: Republican Scandals. Nipping on the heels of Republican governor Rowland's resignation, like a Spaniel in search of a robust head rubbing, Republican Senate nominee Jack Ryan of Illinois is reeling from a mini (read: "non") scandal of his own, according to the Chicago Tribune (link via Wonkette):
"Republican U.S. Senate nominee Jack Ryan's ex-wife, TV actress Jeri Ryan, accused him of taking her to sex clubs in New York and Paris, where he tried to coerce her into having sex with him in front of strangers, according to records released Monday from the couple's California divorce file."
Jeri Ryan played Seven of Nine on the Star Trek series, so, if I were a Machiavellian Dick Morris type, I'd be trying to spin this as a positive for the geek set. Hard to feel sorry for that ass, though, as Ryan has had operatives stalking his opponent, State Senator Obama, with a digital camera, in search of some scandalous footage. Karmic repercussions are a bitch, no?
Fuck: Breaking News: TheSmokingGun has already posted their divorce papers. Shit, didn't Kierkegaard predict that the media in a democracy would turn out like this?
Out: Britney Spears. As if it isn't bad enough that she has had knee surgery, her mom ran over a stalkerazzi. Mowed his ass down. Ka-Pow! The Sun reports:
"The panic-stricken singer sat in the car screaming and crying after the accident.
"Mascara running down her cheeks, she screamed: 'Oh no, oh no. Mom, Mom,' after her mother Lynne, who was driving the hulking motor, ploughed into the photographer."
But to look at the photographs of the incident, the photographer doesn't really look that hurt. He's kind of lounging. Cold lounging, actually, with only a faint touch of scowl about the lips, he appears to be a man secure in the knowledge that he will soon be a very rich man.
In: Interracial-Interreligious love (link via Wonkette). New celebrity couple Richard Gere and Al Sharpton got lost in the oceans of each others eyes. Who needs alleged billionaire supermodel Cindy Crawford when you've got the Rev. Al, a saucy leftist Christian preacher; and Richard's a Tibetan Buddhist, though he used to be just a gigolo. But "love" conquers all. You go, guys.
Out: According to the soon to be Conde Nast imprint Kerrang! Magazine (via Ananova) -- (averted gaze), Sharon Osbourne is the most important person in rock. The Devil is the second most important in rock, "because the devil has all the best tunes" (But, The Corsair notes, "God gave Rock and roll to everyone". And Justin Hawkins of The Darkness is fourth for 'single-handedly putting the fun back into rock.' Any list including Justin Hawkins is definitely not an inclusion meriting boastfulness.
In: Celebrity pregnancy. People Magazine (link via Ananova) is reporting that Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon are preggers. The celebrity fertility trend continues apace.
And now, A Fly on the Wall Blog (link via Defamer) hints that Demi might also be knocked up:
"Demi Moore has told her agents at CAA that she thinks she's pregnant, according to a Fly spy inside the agency.
"Moore recently quit smoking, and reportedly told several friends she had done so because she was trying to have another child.
"Demi's boytoy Ashton Kutcher is said to be the father. No word yet if they'll marry to save the child from bastardy."
Out: The Madonna ticket strategy, according to perennial Corsair favorite Michael Musto, "... And here's why the MADONNA, I mean Madge, I mean Esther, concerts supposedly had so many empty seats till the last minute: Flacks hyped it as 'sold out' from day one! You figured, 'Why bother even calling for tickets?' (That's one theory.)" It sounds just about right to me.
In: That significant cultural artifact, Star Magazine, interviews J.O. Batton, "Unlike last season, when (Paris and Nicole) bunked on the Leding family porch, the girls shared a spare bedroom in the cozy home that Batton shares with his 26-year-old son Travis and daughter-in-law Aimee. Everyone shared one bathroom. Cowboy Batten, 57, clearly enjoyed his time with the girls, who even talked him into trying on his chaps with nothing on underneath: 'I'm in pretty good shape,' he says. 'We were discussing my tight buns. They liked 'em.' Here's how J.O. rates his houseguests, from 1 (dreadful) to 10 (dynamite):
"7 STRENGTH
"It didn't look like they could lift a 50-pound feed bag."
The Corsair softly chuckles
"3 PAIN TOLERANCE
"Paris' is very, very low. Nicole didn't do anything to get hurt."
"8 INTELLIGENCE
"Neither one of them is dumb. Both are relatively intelligent girls."
Yes, and relatively speaking, J.O.'s observations on the life of the mind are, well -- not quite Seth Benardete material. Check out the J.O.'s other ratings, relatively speaking, of course.
In: Defamer Sightings:
"... Lunching at Orso in walks Larry King meeting his much younger and very blonde wife and a random young guy couldn't tell if he was wearing any diapers under his Paper Denim and Cloth jeans which look so out of place on a man in his 70s but hey I guess he can do whatever he wants. He also looked very very thin.
"... Next to his table was Morgan Fairchild dining with a female friend. Morgan was fully done up with her white blonde hair and pale face makeup she was there for a while she made eye contact with me several times like she was bored with her lunch date and was seeing what everyone else was doing.
"... was grocery shopping at pavilions in west hollywood and in front of me in line was e!'s gossip columnist Ted Casablanca. it looked as though ted-babe had just come from the gym. he was wearing a loose scoop necked tank top baggy shorts. he had grey chest hair and under developed calves. he was buying among other things, tins of cat food, a bag of kitty litter and sensodyne toothpaste which I assume is for him, not his cat."
Too funny, but, to be honest, Hollywood doesn't seem as glamorous after reading the defamer sightings. Then again, that's the purpose.
Out: Al Quaeda, obsessed with degrading the miracle of human life into meat, beheaded the South Korean captive today, reports the AP:
"An Iraqi militant group has beheaded its South Korean hostage, Al-Jazeera television reported Tuesday.
"The pan-Arab station said it had received a videotape showing that Kim Sun-il had been executed.
"Kim, 33, worked for a South Korean company supplying the U.S. military in Iraq and was abducted last week, according to the South Korean government.
"Al-Jazeera, which had not broadcast the tape, said the execution was carried out by the al-Qaida-linked group Monotheism and Jihad."
This will be a nightmare for US-South Korean relations which, recently, have been strained over US military and diplomatic heavy handedness to the neighboring North Korean regime. As the Christian Science Monitor notes:
"... Such ambivalence reflects widespread uncertainty here at a time when the (South Korean) government is pursuing reconciliation with North Korea against pressure from conservatives who see little if any sign of concessions or progress in negotiations. The result is that South Koreans, from student demonstrators to government advisers, send mixed signals that reflect deep disagreement on how to deal with the US alliance as well as North Korea.
"'It is a very complex issue,' says Kim Tae Woo. 'The official statements are very simple. They are saying this is due to a global plan and there should be no security vacuum on the Korean peninsula.'
"Mr. Kim concedes the validity of that argument but also believes the US decision to scale back here is 'in response to the anti-American movement'"
That movement will draw steam from the beheading. Although the United States offered South Korea an $11 billion bribe to "strengthen defenses" against North Korea, the US has downsized troop strength in the DMZ to fortify Iraq and Afghanistan in the War on terror. Watch to see how South Korean internal opinion reacts to this tragic news carefully, dear readers.
In: Marc Jacobs, according to Fashionweekdaily:
"Marc Jacobs, firmly in the creative driving seat at Louis Vuitton, will be launching a new jewelry line this fall, inspired by the charm bracelets he created for the last several Vuitton ready-to-wear runway shows.
"Yves Carcelle, President of Louis Vuitton, confirmed the news today in Milan.
"'We will put a complete line of jewelry on the market by September,' announced Carcelle, who was in town to celebrate the opening of Louis Vuittons shiny new boutique in the citys historic Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II."
And be sure to check out one of my other gigs.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Dan Rather IS The Anchorman
Dan Rather was categorically unequipped to ask probing psychological questions of the former President mainly because his own subconscious is such a menacing, unprobed void ("What's the frequency, Kenneth," The Corsair shivers).
You just know Oprah will do better on excavating Clinton's psychological subterranean cairns and all the McNugget sized secrets that lie therein. Plus, Oprah's black, and so will be better able to relate to him. It's a black thing.
Anyhoo: Rather stuck to the sexy but shallow questions, veering slightly, if only for a moment, into Clinton's childhood and briefly into foreign policy initiatives, but always -- always -- returning like a terrier in search of a dog yummy, back to Lewinsky.
There was a very funny moment, though, which Wonkette caught with her jeweler's eye, about Clinton's handshaking skillz (Complicated Handshakes? Come on, in your heart-of-hearts you know Clinton's black):
"CLINTON: Tony Lake, my National Security Adviser, has a wonderful sense of humor, says, well, I know how to do this. Well, now you be Arafat and I will be you and you try to kiss me. And I'll show you what do ...
"RATHER: I'm not sure I want to do this.
"CLINTON:So, I shook hands ... and he put his hand like this, in my elbow. And he says, 'If you've got your hand in your elbow, he can't kiss you.
"Presumably, the White House staffer who was supposed to teach this trick to interns fell down on the job."
This exchange reminded me of one between Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes and Yassir Arafat (second story from top), who, clearly, gives off some problematic homoerotic vibes to Wallace:
"Wallace: Four out of five Palestinians in a recent poll, 83 percent actually, said they believe that the Palestinian Authority is corrupt; that there is money that has been stolen consistently, that your people. I mean, look. Around here, they have money, they have jobs, they have cars. The Palestinians who live out here in Ramallah, where the unemployment is 36 percent, and down in Gaza, where it's 48 percent, they don't live the way that you do. Its a comfortable life for you and your colleagues.
"Arafat: Do you want to see my bedroom?
"Wallace: Do I wanna see your bedroom?
"Arafat: Yes.
"Wallace: I, I'm not sure that I understand the invitation."
I'm not sure that I want to understand the invitation, or, more disgustingly, contemplate the visual.
Channeling his inner Ron Burgundy, Dan Rather, ran through the Tina Brown gauntlet on CNBC afterwards. Tina commented rather sweetly on Gawker.com's Henry the Intern, who, incidentally, said of the interview:
"In a blatant attempt for a slice of '60 Minutes' viewers, Tina milked Dan Rather for a postscript to his hyped interview with Bill Clinton (Old trick: Interview the interviewer when you can't get the interviewee). 'Dan,' she began, 'It's wonderful to be visiting with you. . . How did you find that he's changed?' Rather: 'He's much more within himself, searching for answers about himself.' Tina: 'More interior?' Rather: 'Yes. . . [he's] trying very hard to be insightful about himself.'
"It got better. That is, if you wanted to know the dimensions of Bill's biceps. Tina said Clinton followed the South Beach Diet. Rather: 'He's buffed up.' Tina pressed: 'Does he have a gym in that house in Chappaqua?' Rather: 'Yes. . . It's not large, but it's quite complete. . . I counted at least 13 barbells.'"
Frankly, Tina got a more incisive interview of Clinton by torturing out editing floor clips from Dan Rather than The Anchorman did in his own sit down with the former President, especially this tidbit:
"Rather: The first person (Bill Clinton) talked to after the interview was the Senator from New York."
Oprah, Tina, anyone but Dan Rather, The Anchorman. BTW: Tina will be on vacation in London next week (not Quogue, or Venice). Arianna Huffington will take her place. According to Page Six: "... Tina Brown is taking a week off from her CNBC show (Arianna Huffington will fill in) to go to England for a week of parties in honor of her husband Harry Evans, the distinguished editor and author who is being knighted by Queen Elizabeth II."
Leave it to the hardest working man in the gossip biz, the great Richard Johnson, to get a scoop while doing an appearance.
Dan Rather was categorically unequipped to ask probing psychological questions of the former President mainly because his own subconscious is such a menacing, unprobed void ("What's the frequency, Kenneth," The Corsair shivers).
You just know Oprah will do better on excavating Clinton's psychological subterranean cairns and all the McNugget sized secrets that lie therein. Plus, Oprah's black, and so will be better able to relate to him. It's a black thing.
Anyhoo: Rather stuck to the sexy but shallow questions, veering slightly, if only for a moment, into Clinton's childhood and briefly into foreign policy initiatives, but always -- always -- returning like a terrier in search of a dog yummy, back to Lewinsky.
There was a very funny moment, though, which Wonkette caught with her jeweler's eye, about Clinton's handshaking skillz (Complicated Handshakes? Come on, in your heart-of-hearts you know Clinton's black):
"CLINTON: Tony Lake, my National Security Adviser, has a wonderful sense of humor, says, well, I know how to do this. Well, now you be Arafat and I will be you and you try to kiss me. And I'll show you what do ...
"RATHER: I'm not sure I want to do this.
"CLINTON:So, I shook hands ... and he put his hand like this, in my elbow. And he says, 'If you've got your hand in your elbow, he can't kiss you.
"Presumably, the White House staffer who was supposed to teach this trick to interns fell down on the job."
This exchange reminded me of one between Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes and Yassir Arafat (second story from top), who, clearly, gives off some problematic homoerotic vibes to Wallace:
"Wallace: Four out of five Palestinians in a recent poll, 83 percent actually, said they believe that the Palestinian Authority is corrupt; that there is money that has been stolen consistently, that your people. I mean, look. Around here, they have money, they have jobs, they have cars. The Palestinians who live out here in Ramallah, where the unemployment is 36 percent, and down in Gaza, where it's 48 percent, they don't live the way that you do. Its a comfortable life for you and your colleagues.
"Arafat: Do you want to see my bedroom?
"Wallace: Do I wanna see your bedroom?
"Arafat: Yes.
"Wallace: I, I'm not sure that I understand the invitation."
I'm not sure that I want to understand the invitation, or, more disgustingly, contemplate the visual.
Channeling his inner Ron Burgundy, Dan Rather, ran through the Tina Brown gauntlet on CNBC afterwards. Tina commented rather sweetly on Gawker.com's Henry the Intern, who, incidentally, said of the interview:
"In a blatant attempt for a slice of '60 Minutes' viewers, Tina milked Dan Rather for a postscript to his hyped interview with Bill Clinton (Old trick: Interview the interviewer when you can't get the interviewee). 'Dan,' she began, 'It's wonderful to be visiting with you. . . How did you find that he's changed?' Rather: 'He's much more within himself, searching for answers about himself.' Tina: 'More interior?' Rather: 'Yes. . . [he's] trying very hard to be insightful about himself.'
"It got better. That is, if you wanted to know the dimensions of Bill's biceps. Tina said Clinton followed the South Beach Diet. Rather: 'He's buffed up.' Tina pressed: 'Does he have a gym in that house in Chappaqua?' Rather: 'Yes. . . It's not large, but it's quite complete. . . I counted at least 13 barbells.'"
Frankly, Tina got a more incisive interview of Clinton by torturing out editing floor clips from Dan Rather than The Anchorman did in his own sit down with the former President, especially this tidbit:
"Rather: The first person (Bill Clinton) talked to after the interview was the Senator from New York."
Oprah, Tina, anyone but Dan Rather, The Anchorman. BTW: Tina will be on vacation in London next week (not Quogue, or Venice). Arianna Huffington will take her place. According to Page Six: "... Tina Brown is taking a week off from her CNBC show (Arianna Huffington will fill in) to go to England for a week of parties in honor of her husband Harry Evans, the distinguished editor and author who is being knighted by Queen Elizabeth II."
Leave it to the hardest working man in the gossip biz, the great Richard Johnson, to get a scoop while doing an appearance.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: New Jersey, and who would have thought it? Jersey could actually be forced into play in the 2004 election by a disgusting act of terrorism; it is startling how fragile democracies can be even at the zenith of their power. Yesterday's NY Times relayed some of the smouldering anger in this usually staid blue state:
"There are the flowers and the crosses, the notes and the photographs and all the other signs of sympathy and grieving that one would expect to find at an impromptu shrine devoted to someone murdered in a most cruel fashion.
"But one day after graphic photographs of the body of Paul M. Johnson Jr., beheaded by Islamic extremists, were beamed around the world, a new sign appeared in the yard next to the house of Mr. Johnson's sister in Little Egg Harbor Township.
"'Last night my heart was filled with love and prayers, but today it is filled with hatred. Last night I was not a racist, but today I feel racism toward Islamic beliefs,' the sign said. 'Last night Islamics had a chance to speak up for Paul Johnson, but today it was too late,' it also said. 'Today Islamics better wake up and start thinking about tomorrow.'"
The chilling article By Jason George and Marc Santora continues:
"... Some neighbors did not hide their anger, saying privately that blood should be met with blood."
Will this sad, horrible act of terrorism factor into New Jersey becoming a swing state? Can the Muslim fundamentalist cast that much influence?
Out: Governor Rowland. Oh, how we will miss horsewhipping corrupt Connecticut Governor Rowlands. It was shadenfreude at it's finest. As the NY Times says:
"Gov. John G. Rowland will announce his resignation Monday night, amid a federal corruption investigation and a growing move to impeach him, his lawyer told The Associated Press."
Goodbye, Old Paint.
In: Free Winona. Sure, Winona may have a "Big Brown Beaver vintage muff under her skirt that she's hiding from store security (kidding, guys, kidding). But, according to British Vogue, "WINONA RYDER has had her sentenced reduced after being convicted of stealing ($9,184) of designer clothes and accessories from Saks Fifth Avenue in 2002."
And we can't be happier for Ms. Horowitz.
Out: According to the most excellent Page Six, Dayanara Torres hasn't yet told her kids that their father is married to another woman:
"MARC Anthony's ex-wife, former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres, still hasn't told their children their dad has married serial bride Jennifer Lopez. The two boys don't even know their parents are divorced. 'They don't know much really, because Ryan is just a baby and Christian hasn't noticed,' Torres tells the upcoming issue of Latina. 'Until now, I've just kept Christian away from everything � from TV, from pictures.' If J.Lo's latest marriage is anything like her last two, it may be over before her new stepkids ever hear about it."
Now, this is especially odd considering what CNN.com reported earler this month:
"Saying his personal life is off-limits, singer Marc Anthony refused to confirm Tuesday whether he's married to Jennifer Lopez."
"During an appearance on NBC's 'Today' show, co-host Matt Lauer asked the Latin singer how he'd spent his weekend.
"'I see where you're going with this, and I'm going to preface it with just saying -- y'all know I don't talk about my personal life,' Anthony said.
"Lauer replied: 'So, I -- do I need to congratulate you?'
"'Yeah, I have two albums coming out, man. Absolutely. And I would appreciate it,' the 34-year-old singer said."
What the fuck?!
Out: Robbie Wiiliams' depression. According to the 3AM Girls:
"He's been battling depression for ages but things seem to be getting even worse for Robbie Williams.
"He is now so terrified of being alone that he insists on having a minder sleep at the bottom of his bed every night.
"It may sound strange for a man of 30 years, but a worried friend tells us: "Rob just can't seem to stop feeling so down.
"'He won't sleep in a room unless there is security there, so some poor chap has to kip on the sofa at the end of his bed.'"
They continue:
"In fact we're told the only time his bedroom minders get a night off is when Robbie brings back, ahem, lady friends. The source went on: 'Robbie needs constant company. He is surrounded by people who care about him but even they are struggling to pull him out of this depression.
"'On the surface he's got it made. He wants for nothing. But no one's ever seen him so unhappy.'"
In: The Ingmar Bergman Film Festival at the Film Forum. You wouldn't know it by my rapier like wit, but I am a big fan of the Big Questions that Ingmar Bergman asks in his films. Big fan. So, I found it particularly amusing to see in Vanessa Grigoriadis' Ethan Hawke story in this week's New York Magazine, "A person can�t drop off his kids at his ex-wife�s and go see (Ingmar Bergman's) Fanny and Alexander, he mused." Okay, now I've never thought much of Hawke, but Bergman can make brothers of us all.
Out: Stereogum reader Cara has her own "out" list, taken, I guess, from last Thursday's Franz Ferdinand concert:
"As Mr. Stereogum may be aware, I was none too pleased with the crowd at the Franz Ferdinand show last night. (1) It is NOT OK to sing along to the songs in my ear so loudly that the only music I hear comes from your shrieky and embarrasingly off-key vocals. (2) It is NOT cool to throw up the sign of the beast during "Take Me Out." We are not watching Slayer. (3) It is not OK to dance in my space. First of all, I am not crazy about dancing at concerts at all (despite Franz Ferdinand's comments that they are a dance band). If you must dance during the concert, however, please do it within the confines of the 1 x 1 foot square space you have been allotted. (4) Don't sweat on me."
Sweating on Cara? Like school on Saturday, man: no class.
In: Gwyneth Paltrow. In the words of Whatevs.org, "... While she'll never live down Liam's assertion that she's nothing but a gawky bird, I'll be god damned if Gwynnie isn't the cat's pajamas. holla atcha post-preggers hottness!"
Word up.
Or, as Fashionweekdaily quotes Paltrow in their quote of the Daily, ""I'm wearing all Marc Jacobs tonight, and I was in the store in the Village the other day buying new boob-forgiving t-shirts--because I now have boobs! I never knew how fun it was to have boobs, and since they're probably temporary, I have to enjoy them while I have them."
Out: Fashionweekdaily also reports: "Kelly Ripa, who just signed a five-year deal with 'Live With Regis and Kelly,' has been given a $45,000 fashion allowance by ABC to indulge her Jimmy Choo weakness ..."
We are so playa hating.
In: New Jersey, and who would have thought it? Jersey could actually be forced into play in the 2004 election by a disgusting act of terrorism; it is startling how fragile democracies can be even at the zenith of their power. Yesterday's NY Times relayed some of the smouldering anger in this usually staid blue state:
"There are the flowers and the crosses, the notes and the photographs and all the other signs of sympathy and grieving that one would expect to find at an impromptu shrine devoted to someone murdered in a most cruel fashion.
"But one day after graphic photographs of the body of Paul M. Johnson Jr., beheaded by Islamic extremists, were beamed around the world, a new sign appeared in the yard next to the house of Mr. Johnson's sister in Little Egg Harbor Township.
"'Last night my heart was filled with love and prayers, but today it is filled with hatred. Last night I was not a racist, but today I feel racism toward Islamic beliefs,' the sign said. 'Last night Islamics had a chance to speak up for Paul Johnson, but today it was too late,' it also said. 'Today Islamics better wake up and start thinking about tomorrow.'"
The chilling article By Jason George and Marc Santora continues:
"... Some neighbors did not hide their anger, saying privately that blood should be met with blood."
Will this sad, horrible act of terrorism factor into New Jersey becoming a swing state? Can the Muslim fundamentalist cast that much influence?
Out: Governor Rowland. Oh, how we will miss horsewhipping corrupt Connecticut Governor Rowlands. It was shadenfreude at it's finest. As the NY Times says:
"Gov. John G. Rowland will announce his resignation Monday night, amid a federal corruption investigation and a growing move to impeach him, his lawyer told The Associated Press."
Goodbye, Old Paint.
In: Free Winona. Sure, Winona may have a "Big Brown Beaver vintage muff under her skirt that she's hiding from store security (kidding, guys, kidding). But, according to British Vogue, "WINONA RYDER has had her sentenced reduced after being convicted of stealing ($9,184) of designer clothes and accessories from Saks Fifth Avenue in 2002."
And we can't be happier for Ms. Horowitz.
Out: According to the most excellent Page Six, Dayanara Torres hasn't yet told her kids that their father is married to another woman:
"MARC Anthony's ex-wife, former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres, still hasn't told their children their dad has married serial bride Jennifer Lopez. The two boys don't even know their parents are divorced. 'They don't know much really, because Ryan is just a baby and Christian hasn't noticed,' Torres tells the upcoming issue of Latina. 'Until now, I've just kept Christian away from everything � from TV, from pictures.' If J.Lo's latest marriage is anything like her last two, it may be over before her new stepkids ever hear about it."
Now, this is especially odd considering what CNN.com reported earler this month:
"Saying his personal life is off-limits, singer Marc Anthony refused to confirm Tuesday whether he's married to Jennifer Lopez."
"During an appearance on NBC's 'Today' show, co-host Matt Lauer asked the Latin singer how he'd spent his weekend.
"'I see where you're going with this, and I'm going to preface it with just saying -- y'all know I don't talk about my personal life,' Anthony said.
"Lauer replied: 'So, I -- do I need to congratulate you?'
"'Yeah, I have two albums coming out, man. Absolutely. And I would appreciate it,' the 34-year-old singer said."
What the fuck?!
Out: Robbie Wiiliams' depression. According to the 3AM Girls:
"He's been battling depression for ages but things seem to be getting even worse for Robbie Williams.
"He is now so terrified of being alone that he insists on having a minder sleep at the bottom of his bed every night.
"It may sound strange for a man of 30 years, but a worried friend tells us: "Rob just can't seem to stop feeling so down.
"'He won't sleep in a room unless there is security there, so some poor chap has to kip on the sofa at the end of his bed.'"
They continue:
"In fact we're told the only time his bedroom minders get a night off is when Robbie brings back, ahem, lady friends. The source went on: 'Robbie needs constant company. He is surrounded by people who care about him but even they are struggling to pull him out of this depression.
"'On the surface he's got it made. He wants for nothing. But no one's ever seen him so unhappy.'"
In: The Ingmar Bergman Film Festival at the Film Forum. You wouldn't know it by my rapier like wit, but I am a big fan of the Big Questions that Ingmar Bergman asks in his films. Big fan. So, I found it particularly amusing to see in Vanessa Grigoriadis' Ethan Hawke story in this week's New York Magazine, "A person can�t drop off his kids at his ex-wife�s and go see (Ingmar Bergman's) Fanny and Alexander, he mused." Okay, now I've never thought much of Hawke, but Bergman can make brothers of us all.
Out: Stereogum reader Cara has her own "out" list, taken, I guess, from last Thursday's Franz Ferdinand concert:
"As Mr. Stereogum may be aware, I was none too pleased with the crowd at the Franz Ferdinand show last night. (1) It is NOT OK to sing along to the songs in my ear so loudly that the only music I hear comes from your shrieky and embarrasingly off-key vocals. (2) It is NOT cool to throw up the sign of the beast during "Take Me Out." We are not watching Slayer. (3) It is not OK to dance in my space. First of all, I am not crazy about dancing at concerts at all (despite Franz Ferdinand's comments that they are a dance band). If you must dance during the concert, however, please do it within the confines of the 1 x 1 foot square space you have been allotted. (4) Don't sweat on me."
Sweating on Cara? Like school on Saturday, man: no class.
In: Gwyneth Paltrow. In the words of Whatevs.org, "... While she'll never live down Liam's assertion that she's nothing but a gawky bird, I'll be god damned if Gwynnie isn't the cat's pajamas. holla atcha post-preggers hottness!"
Word up.
Or, as Fashionweekdaily quotes Paltrow in their quote of the Daily, ""I'm wearing all Marc Jacobs tonight, and I was in the store in the Village the other day buying new boob-forgiving t-shirts--because I now have boobs! I never knew how fun it was to have boobs, and since they're probably temporary, I have to enjoy them while I have them."
Out: Fashionweekdaily also reports: "Kelly Ripa, who just signed a five-year deal with 'Live With Regis and Kelly,' has been given a $45,000 fashion allowance by ABC to indulge her Jimmy Choo weakness ..."
We are so playa hating.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Bill Clinton on 60 Minutes: And So, "The Summer of Clinton" Begins
Bill Clinton is set to break television and book sales records as his very own Summer of Clinton begins. We are right now in the calm before Hurricane Clinton storms the media landscape. Just in time too, as watching Senator John Kerry in "action" (The Corsair yawns) is about as exciting as watching plants produce oxygen. Although I haven't read the book, only excerpts, all accounts of those who have read longer excerpts (or AP which has an actual copy -- those crafties) point in the direction of Clinton utilizing one part down-homey Ozark wisdom suffused with one part simple message of Christian "forgiveness" against the detractors of his life; very Passion of the Christ-like. This, I believe, will be regarded favorably by African-Americans, Latinos and middle class Christians alike, who, historically, have been most receptive to the Christian Beatitudes. The "people of oppression," as Russell Simmons might say. Brilliant strategy, by the way (The Corsair elegantly tips a glass of Grappa in Clinton's direction), affecting the posture of Christ in the face of his enemies, who always seem to rise in direct proportion to Clinton's likeability. His own shadows taking form. Do all world leaders battle their internal shadows in the public arena like Clinton?
But then, Clinton was always precocious. One has to admire the global scale to which Clinton plays The Game, down to his very ground of being he is a political animal, the biggest cat in the jungle, from that handshake with JFK. Make no mistake: The race for the Clinton legacy begins on Sunday, the same day, incidentally, that the Clinton Summer begins.
Once this is all over, Clinton quite possibly might be a sort of Global Preacher to the Oppressed, not inconceivably a future Secretary General of the UN, or, more likely (considering the massive Republican opposition to that concept), an Oprah-esque talk show host, globally syndicated, bringing untold billions to whatever media company acquires it. As CBS's website reports:
"Former President Bill Clinton calls his fight against his impeachment a 'badge of honor' in an exclusive and wide-ranging 60 Minutes interview with Dan Rather to be broadcast Sunday, June 20, at 7 p.m. ET/PT."
Or, as Newsweek's Howard Fineman describes it:
"The rollout is vintage Clinton--charming, down home and completely calculated. In speeches and interviews, the former president has coyly hinted at great revelations amid 'My Life?s' 957 pages. But it?s a tease: he shows just enough leg to make you want to buy the book."
And Reuters reports of the released audio excerpts on his historic handshake with Kennedy:
"... Readers' opportunity to hear Clinton read more enticing excerpts will come in the next few days, as Time Warner Inc.'s AOL releases an excerpt entitled 'I started crying' on Saturday, another entitled 'I loved & forgave him' the next day and 'Marriage remains' on Monday, a spokeswoman said.
"Clinton's choice of opening excerpt, with its references to two of America's most respected presidents, is a way to position himself in a way he wants to be perceived, said John Baker, editorial director of Publishers Weekly.
"'I'm sure he was aware that everyone would be looking for the racy bits, and he wants to come out of the gate first as a statesman-like figure,' Baker said.
But back to CBS's account of the Rather interview:
"In the candid, sometimes emotional interview, the 42nd president of the United States talks about his public and private life ? soon to be revealed in his upcoming memoir My Life.
"He also discusses his Arkansas childhood and family, his times as Arkansas governor, and the triumphs and failures of his presidency."
Unfortunately -- or, fortunately, depending on how you view matters -- today's New York Times focused almost exclusively on the Lewinsky scandal. The Old Gray Lady likes the saucy bits, it appears. That and the endless repetition that Hillary Clinton looked "as if she had been punched in the gut" when she learned the truth. Bill slept on the couch for two months (The Corsair yawns). By next week you will have heard about that about a hundred times, mark my words.
Personally, I'd rather hear about his childhood, his thoughts on Vietnam, Kosovo and the Rwanda debacle.
CBS's site continues:
"'For him to talk about his personal life in these terms is pretty extraordinary,' says Rather of his interview with Mr. Clinton.
"'The interview is explosive, revealing, insightful, and reflective. We've never seen a former president talk about his life the way he's done.'"
Which is why The Corsair cannot wait to see Clinton being New Age Sensitive President on Oprah. You know Oprah, more than Rather, will get Clinton to emote, to look back on his history.
"Mr. Clinton tells Rather he is proud that he fought the impeachment battle that failed to drive him from office.
"'I didn't quit. I never thought of resigning and I stood up to it and beat it back,' he tells Rather.
"'The whole battle was a badge of honor. I don't see it as a stain, because it was illegitimate,' says Mr. Clinton of the impeachment process that he calls 'an abuse of power.'"
The AP, which mysteriously obtained an early copy of the book, amplifies on that point:
"Clinton said his biggest presidential mistake was a 1994 decision that would ultimately lead to his impeachment - asking then-Attorney General Janet Reno to name a prosecutor to look into his Whitewater land dealings.
"He said he was not worried about the prosecutor, because he had nothing to hide. But Clinton observed that he may have been so worn out and upset by the death of his mother that he failed to make what now seems the wiser choice - release the necessary papers, give Democrats a thorough briefing and seek their support.
"The original prosecutor, Robert Fiske, was succeeded by Kenneth Starr, and the investigation was eventually expanded to include Clinton's affair with Lewinsky.
"Writing about his 1998 impeachment, Clinton said Republican leaders were not punishing him for dishonesty or immoral conduct in having an affair with Lewinsky and lying about it under oath. He said he believed the reason was power, and because his political goals were different from theirs.
"He survived the ordeal and remained focused on his job because of the support of the White House staff and Cabinet - even those who felt betrayed by his behavior - numerous world leaders, and encouraging words from both friends and strangers.
"He even expressed gratitude to his political enemies for bringing him and his wife closer together. And once the impeachment process was over, his eviction - of at least two months - to the couch in a living room next to the bedroom ended, too, he said."
The CBS site on the Rather interview continues:
"Mr. Clinton views his economic plan as the greatest accomplishment of his presidency.
"'I kept score, how many people's lives were better off,' he tells Rather. 'I think the fact that we were able to have 22 million jobs and record home ownership and lower interest rates ? people actually had the ability to do more things than ever before.'
"He had many days as president that he counts among his best, including his efforts to help the residents of Kosovo and rid the world of a dictator. 'The day that Kosovar war ended and I knew Milosevic's days were numbered was a great day. I had a lot of great days,' he says.
"The failure high on his list of regrets is the affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky that he terms 'a terrible moral error.'
"The affair?s disclosure put him, he says, 'in the doghouse' with his wife and also threatened to alienate his daughter, Chelsea. The family was able to overcome its terrible effect through counseling, however.
"Hillary, says Mr. Clinton, needed time with him to decide whether she would stay married to him.
"'We'd take a day a week, and we did a whole day a week every week for a year, maybe a little more and did counseling,' says Mr. Clinton. 'We did it together. We did it individually. We did family work.'"
Did this involve Jesse Jackson?
"Why did Mr. Clinton commit adultery? He tells Rather there is no rational explanation. 'I did something for the worst possible reason. Just because I could,' says Mr. Clinton. 'I think that's just about the most morally indefensible reason anybody could have for doing anything.'
"Rather interviewed Mr. Clinton in his home in Chappaqua, N.Y., June 15, and last weekend in Arkansas, where Mr. Clinton took 60 Minutes cameras to his childhood home in Hope, the capitol in Little Rock, and to Hot Springs, where he grew up.
"The interview addresses all the important aspects of Mr. Clinton's life. He speaks about the issues of his presidency, including the war on terror and Osama bin Laden and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, regretting his failure to convince Yasser Arafat to accept a proposal he thought could finally bring peace."
I'm so there for you Dan Rather. So very there.
Bill Clinton is set to break television and book sales records as his very own Summer of Clinton begins. We are right now in the calm before Hurricane Clinton storms the media landscape. Just in time too, as watching Senator John Kerry in "action" (The Corsair yawns) is about as exciting as watching plants produce oxygen. Although I haven't read the book, only excerpts, all accounts of those who have read longer excerpts (or AP which has an actual copy -- those crafties) point in the direction of Clinton utilizing one part down-homey Ozark wisdom suffused with one part simple message of Christian "forgiveness" against the detractors of his life; very Passion of the Christ-like. This, I believe, will be regarded favorably by African-Americans, Latinos and middle class Christians alike, who, historically, have been most receptive to the Christian Beatitudes. The "people of oppression," as Russell Simmons might say. Brilliant strategy, by the way (The Corsair elegantly tips a glass of Grappa in Clinton's direction), affecting the posture of Christ in the face of his enemies, who always seem to rise in direct proportion to Clinton's likeability. His own shadows taking form. Do all world leaders battle their internal shadows in the public arena like Clinton?
But then, Clinton was always precocious. One has to admire the global scale to which Clinton plays The Game, down to his very ground of being he is a political animal, the biggest cat in the jungle, from that handshake with JFK. Make no mistake: The race for the Clinton legacy begins on Sunday, the same day, incidentally, that the Clinton Summer begins.
Once this is all over, Clinton quite possibly might be a sort of Global Preacher to the Oppressed, not inconceivably a future Secretary General of the UN, or, more likely (considering the massive Republican opposition to that concept), an Oprah-esque talk show host, globally syndicated, bringing untold billions to whatever media company acquires it. As CBS's website reports:
"Former President Bill Clinton calls his fight against his impeachment a 'badge of honor' in an exclusive and wide-ranging 60 Minutes interview with Dan Rather to be broadcast Sunday, June 20, at 7 p.m. ET/PT."
Or, as Newsweek's Howard Fineman describes it:
"The rollout is vintage Clinton--charming, down home and completely calculated. In speeches and interviews, the former president has coyly hinted at great revelations amid 'My Life?s' 957 pages. But it?s a tease: he shows just enough leg to make you want to buy the book."
And Reuters reports of the released audio excerpts on his historic handshake with Kennedy:
"... Readers' opportunity to hear Clinton read more enticing excerpts will come in the next few days, as Time Warner Inc.'s AOL releases an excerpt entitled 'I started crying' on Saturday, another entitled 'I loved & forgave him' the next day and 'Marriage remains' on Monday, a spokeswoman said.
"Clinton's choice of opening excerpt, with its references to two of America's most respected presidents, is a way to position himself in a way he wants to be perceived, said John Baker, editorial director of Publishers Weekly.
"'I'm sure he was aware that everyone would be looking for the racy bits, and he wants to come out of the gate first as a statesman-like figure,' Baker said.
But back to CBS's account of the Rather interview:
"In the candid, sometimes emotional interview, the 42nd president of the United States talks about his public and private life ? soon to be revealed in his upcoming memoir My Life.
"He also discusses his Arkansas childhood and family, his times as Arkansas governor, and the triumphs and failures of his presidency."
Unfortunately -- or, fortunately, depending on how you view matters -- today's New York Times focused almost exclusively on the Lewinsky scandal. The Old Gray Lady likes the saucy bits, it appears. That and the endless repetition that Hillary Clinton looked "as if she had been punched in the gut" when she learned the truth. Bill slept on the couch for two months (The Corsair yawns). By next week you will have heard about that about a hundred times, mark my words.
Personally, I'd rather hear about his childhood, his thoughts on Vietnam, Kosovo and the Rwanda debacle.
CBS's site continues:
"'For him to talk about his personal life in these terms is pretty extraordinary,' says Rather of his interview with Mr. Clinton.
"'The interview is explosive, revealing, insightful, and reflective. We've never seen a former president talk about his life the way he's done.'"
Which is why The Corsair cannot wait to see Clinton being New Age Sensitive President on Oprah. You know Oprah, more than Rather, will get Clinton to emote, to look back on his history.
"Mr. Clinton tells Rather he is proud that he fought the impeachment battle that failed to drive him from office.
"'I didn't quit. I never thought of resigning and I stood up to it and beat it back,' he tells Rather.
"'The whole battle was a badge of honor. I don't see it as a stain, because it was illegitimate,' says Mr. Clinton of the impeachment process that he calls 'an abuse of power.'"
The AP, which mysteriously obtained an early copy of the book, amplifies on that point:
"Clinton said his biggest presidential mistake was a 1994 decision that would ultimately lead to his impeachment - asking then-Attorney General Janet Reno to name a prosecutor to look into his Whitewater land dealings.
"He said he was not worried about the prosecutor, because he had nothing to hide. But Clinton observed that he may have been so worn out and upset by the death of his mother that he failed to make what now seems the wiser choice - release the necessary papers, give Democrats a thorough briefing and seek their support.
"The original prosecutor, Robert Fiske, was succeeded by Kenneth Starr, and the investigation was eventually expanded to include Clinton's affair with Lewinsky.
"Writing about his 1998 impeachment, Clinton said Republican leaders were not punishing him for dishonesty or immoral conduct in having an affair with Lewinsky and lying about it under oath. He said he believed the reason was power, and because his political goals were different from theirs.
"He survived the ordeal and remained focused on his job because of the support of the White House staff and Cabinet - even those who felt betrayed by his behavior - numerous world leaders, and encouraging words from both friends and strangers.
"He even expressed gratitude to his political enemies for bringing him and his wife closer together. And once the impeachment process was over, his eviction - of at least two months - to the couch in a living room next to the bedroom ended, too, he said."
The CBS site on the Rather interview continues:
"Mr. Clinton views his economic plan as the greatest accomplishment of his presidency.
"'I kept score, how many people's lives were better off,' he tells Rather. 'I think the fact that we were able to have 22 million jobs and record home ownership and lower interest rates ? people actually had the ability to do more things than ever before.'
"He had many days as president that he counts among his best, including his efforts to help the residents of Kosovo and rid the world of a dictator. 'The day that Kosovar war ended and I knew Milosevic's days were numbered was a great day. I had a lot of great days,' he says.
"The failure high on his list of regrets is the affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky that he terms 'a terrible moral error.'
"The affair?s disclosure put him, he says, 'in the doghouse' with his wife and also threatened to alienate his daughter, Chelsea. The family was able to overcome its terrible effect through counseling, however.
"Hillary, says Mr. Clinton, needed time with him to decide whether she would stay married to him.
"'We'd take a day a week, and we did a whole day a week every week for a year, maybe a little more and did counseling,' says Mr. Clinton. 'We did it together. We did it individually. We did family work.'"
Did this involve Jesse Jackson?
"Why did Mr. Clinton commit adultery? He tells Rather there is no rational explanation. 'I did something for the worst possible reason. Just because I could,' says Mr. Clinton. 'I think that's just about the most morally indefensible reason anybody could have for doing anything.'
"Rather interviewed Mr. Clinton in his home in Chappaqua, N.Y., June 15, and last weekend in Arkansas, where Mr. Clinton took 60 Minutes cameras to his childhood home in Hope, the capitol in Little Rock, and to Hot Springs, where he grew up.
"The interview addresses all the important aspects of Mr. Clinton's life. He speaks about the issues of his presidency, including the war on terror and Osama bin Laden and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, regretting his failure to convince Yasser Arafat to accept a proposal he thought could finally bring peace."
I'm so there for you Dan Rather. So very there.
Bill Murray Versus Chevy Chase
From Live from New York by Tom Shales and James Andrew Mills:
"Bill Murray
"I got into a fight with Chevy (Chase) the night he came back to host. That was because I was the new guy, and it was sort of like it was my job to do that. It would have been too petty for someone else to do that. Its almost like I was goaded into that. I did sense that. I think they resented Chevy for leaving, and leaving and making his own career go. Everybody else was from the improvisational world, where you don't make it about you. You were an ensemble, you were a company. So when he left, there was resentment about that. It was a shock.
"At the same time, Chevy was the big potato on the stew. He got the most sketches, he had the most influence, he got the publicity -- all of those things. So they didn't miss that part of it. But there was still hangover feelings that he shouldn't have left until everybody had that. You make sure everybody else is there and then you do it.
"It did leave a big vacuum, because he was really heavy in those shows. You look at those early shows and he's heavy. And so you had a whole year when the writers ended up writing, like writers do -- they write for the guys who can get it done, who can get it on the air -- and Chevy's sketches got on the air because he was "the man," you know. The other actors had to start from scratch and teach the writers how to write for them ... When you become famous, you've got a year or two where you act like an asshole. You can't help yourself. It happens to everybody. You've got, like, two years to pull it together -- or it's permanent.
John Landis
"I've only been to SNL three times, and one time I was there, Chevy and Billy were having this huge screaming fight in the hallway, and Michael O'Donahue and Tom Davis were holding them back, and John and Danny jumped in because Chevy and Billy were really going to come to blows. I mean, it was a huge argument. And the thing I remember about Billy Murray -- I didn't know Bill Murray, but he's screaming, you know, foaming at the mouth, 'Fucking Chevy,' and in anger he says, 'Medium talent!' And I thought, 'Oh boy, that's funny. In anger he says 'medium talent.' That really impressed me. I went, 'So, Bill Murray -- wow, who is that guy?'
Laraine Newman
"It seems that there was a tension between Chevy and Bill all along during the week. I don't know why. I don't know if Chevy provoked it or not. But it culminated with Billy saying to Chevy, 'why don't you fuck your wife once in a while?' And I don't even remember who threw the first punch, Billy or Chevy. But it was ugly. I'd never seen guys fighting like that, let alone people I knew. And, you know, I don't know how he did it, but Chevy went out and did the monologue a few minutes later. Watching from the floor, he seemed shattered.
Lorne Michaels
"Billy Joel, the musical guest, was out singing his heart out while this was going on backstage."
New, brilliant posts (12/3/2010) here: (TheCorsair)
From Live from New York by Tom Shales and James Andrew Mills:
"Bill Murray
"I got into a fight with Chevy (Chase) the night he came back to host. That was because I was the new guy, and it was sort of like it was my job to do that. It would have been too petty for someone else to do that. Its almost like I was goaded into that. I did sense that. I think they resented Chevy for leaving, and leaving and making his own career go. Everybody else was from the improvisational world, where you don't make it about you. You were an ensemble, you were a company. So when he left, there was resentment about that. It was a shock.
"At the same time, Chevy was the big potato on the stew. He got the most sketches, he had the most influence, he got the publicity -- all of those things. So they didn't miss that part of it. But there was still hangover feelings that he shouldn't have left until everybody had that. You make sure everybody else is there and then you do it.
"It did leave a big vacuum, because he was really heavy in those shows. You look at those early shows and he's heavy. And so you had a whole year when the writers ended up writing, like writers do -- they write for the guys who can get it done, who can get it on the air -- and Chevy's sketches got on the air because he was "the man," you know. The other actors had to start from scratch and teach the writers how to write for them ... When you become famous, you've got a year or two where you act like an asshole. You can't help yourself. It happens to everybody. You've got, like, two years to pull it together -- or it's permanent.
John Landis
"I've only been to SNL three times, and one time I was there, Chevy and Billy were having this huge screaming fight in the hallway, and Michael O'Donahue and Tom Davis were holding them back, and John and Danny jumped in because Chevy and Billy were really going to come to blows. I mean, it was a huge argument. And the thing I remember about Billy Murray -- I didn't know Bill Murray, but he's screaming, you know, foaming at the mouth, 'Fucking Chevy,' and in anger he says, 'Medium talent!' And I thought, 'Oh boy, that's funny. In anger he says 'medium talent.' That really impressed me. I went, 'So, Bill Murray -- wow, who is that guy?'
Laraine Newman
"It seems that there was a tension between Chevy and Bill all along during the week. I don't know why. I don't know if Chevy provoked it or not. But it culminated with Billy saying to Chevy, 'why don't you fuck your wife once in a while?' And I don't even remember who threw the first punch, Billy or Chevy. But it was ugly. I'd never seen guys fighting like that, let alone people I knew. And, you know, I don't know how he did it, but Chevy went out and did the monologue a few minutes later. Watching from the floor, he seemed shattered.
Lorne Michaels
"Billy Joel, the musical guest, was out singing his heart out while this was going on backstage."
New, brilliant posts (12/3/2010) here: (TheCorsair)
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Clases to Masses. After Isaac Mizrahi's strong showing at his Target fashion Show, Karl Lagerfeld took to heart the mantra: "classes to the masses":
"One of the most venerable names in haute couture will embrace bargain shoppers when Chanel and Fendi designer Karl Lagerfeld launches a new line for H&M, the mecca of disposable chic.
"'Karl Lagerfeld has been with the classes, now he's going to the masses,' said retail consultant Howard Davidowitz.
Out: Man-slapping by any other name is not as sweet. Apparently Regis Philbin took the back of his hand to NY Daily News gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe, a vicious man-slapping if I ever heard one:
"Regis and Joy Philbin were at Sirio Maccioni's Le Cirque 2000 this week to help him launch his memoirs. I asked Regis what he'd learned from the restaurateur. 'He taught me how to enjoy food!' Reege barked, before slapping me in the face (in an affectionate way, but still, it was kinda weird)."
Not since NY Times boldfacer Joyce Wadler took took an elbow to the breadbasket has there been such an outrage. One of my bretheren in the scoop is taking a bitchslapping (The Corsair sprints regally with a purposeful look in his eye to the scene of the crime). Man down! Man down!
In: Madison and Vine. Must advertising and editorial in the media combine in roder to survive? The Page Sixers report:
"MEDIA bigs Tom Freston, Lenny Lauren, David Granger, Joe Perello, Steven Rubenstein, Charlie Walk and George Wayne were among the guests at a party at Vela hosted by Jason Binn to toast Advertising Age editor Scott Donaton for his "Madison & Vine: Why the Entertainment and Advertising Industries Must Converge to Survive." The book includes interviews with the likes of Les Moonves, Jimmy Iovine and Miles Copeland and carries cover endorsements from Harvey Weinstein, Mark Burnett, Kurt Andersen and Donny Deutsch."
The Corsair has noted this emerging trend in the magazine industry.
Out: Krumping. In tommorrow's New York Times Arts and Leisure section, Valerie Gladstone and Madonna's choreographer Jamie King chat urbanely about the urban dance phenomenon that has, by virtue of this very discussion, jumped the shark:
"Valerie Gladstone: What's the krump?
Jamie King: Madonna likes me to bring her the newest thing. The krump is very in-your-face, very angry and confrontational, with the arms spread wide in a threatening manner. My dancers told me about it. It looks like you're fighting. It's a way for kids in tough neighborhoods to express their aggression, without really fighting. That's what she and I like about it."
In: The new expose of the Bush Administration (how many are there?). The Guardian writes:
"A senior US intelligence official is about to publish a bitter condemnation of America's counter-terrorism policy, arguing that the west is losing the war against al-Qaida and that an "avaricious, premeditated, unprovoked" war in Iraq has played into Osama bin Laden's hands.
Imperial Hubris: Why the West is Losing the War on Terror, due out next month, dismisses two of the most frequent boasts of the Bush administration: that Bin Laden and al-Qaida are "on the run" and that the Iraq invasion has made America safer.
"In an interview with the Guardian the official, who writes as 'Anonymous', described al-Qaida as a much more proficient and focused organisation than it was in 2001, and predicted that it would "inevitably" acquire weapons of mass destruction and try to use them.
"He said Bin Laden was probably 'comfortable' commanding his organisation from the mountainous tribal lands along the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan."
Fuck.
Out:This juicy little blind item from the LA.com blog (via Popbitch):
"Blind items are the new black! Sandwiched among salacious gossip about Brits we've never heard of, Popbitch proffered this great blind item:
"Which TV and film actor didn't stay lonely when his actress wife went off to New York to film? The actor wiled away most of his time at the local Starbucks in Malibu and when the coffee shop wasn't open, took the 18 year-old waitress back to his place for "coffee".
"The headline was 'The Truth is Out There,' a hint so obvious that even those crybabies who complain in the comments section about perplexing LA.COMfidentail blind items will figure it out. Here's another hint: if this is the guy we're thinking of, he was a well known lothario before tying the knot."
That's so easy, I'm not even going to Duchovny it with an answer ... oops! My bad.
In: Is Drew Barrymore getting married to Fabrizio Moretti of The Strokes'? That's what that significant cultural artifact Star Magazine says:
"It was an emotional roller coaster for Drew Barrymore last week. First, the two-time "Angel" visited her ailing father, John Drew Barrymore, 50, at a Santa Monica Alzheimer's care center on Monday, June 7. It must have been a painful visit, because she left in tears. Thankfully her boyfriend of two years, Fabrizio Moretti, of the hot band The Strokes, was at her side.
"The tears soon turned to tears of joy when the lovebirds were spotted gushing over engagement rings at Cartier jewelers on Rodeo Drive in L.A. just two days later. On June 10, the newly-svelte Barrymore, 29, and Moretti, 24, were seen holding hands and being very touchy-feely in the store."
Hmmm.
And, finally, also In: Congratulations to Defamer.com for their first scoop, a doozy:
"We hear from a well-placed operative within MGM that Sony's rumored $5 billion purchase of the movie studio is a done deal. The news should be announced early next week. In the meantime, we can get back to our favorite pasttime: watching media conglomerates swallow up pieces of Hollywood in pursuit of the ever-elusive 'shitergy.'"
Way to go, guys.
In: Clases to Masses. After Isaac Mizrahi's strong showing at his Target fashion Show, Karl Lagerfeld took to heart the mantra: "classes to the masses":
"One of the most venerable names in haute couture will embrace bargain shoppers when Chanel and Fendi designer Karl Lagerfeld launches a new line for H&M, the mecca of disposable chic.
"'Karl Lagerfeld has been with the classes, now he's going to the masses,' said retail consultant Howard Davidowitz.
Out: Man-slapping by any other name is not as sweet. Apparently Regis Philbin took the back of his hand to NY Daily News gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe, a vicious man-slapping if I ever heard one:
"Regis and Joy Philbin were at Sirio Maccioni's Le Cirque 2000 this week to help him launch his memoirs. I asked Regis what he'd learned from the restaurateur. 'He taught me how to enjoy food!' Reege barked, before slapping me in the face (in an affectionate way, but still, it was kinda weird)."
Not since NY Times boldfacer Joyce Wadler took took an elbow to the breadbasket has there been such an outrage. One of my bretheren in the scoop is taking a bitchslapping (The Corsair sprints regally with a purposeful look in his eye to the scene of the crime). Man down! Man down!
In: Madison and Vine. Must advertising and editorial in the media combine in roder to survive? The Page Sixers report:
"MEDIA bigs Tom Freston, Lenny Lauren, David Granger, Joe Perello, Steven Rubenstein, Charlie Walk and George Wayne were among the guests at a party at Vela hosted by Jason Binn to toast Advertising Age editor Scott Donaton for his "Madison & Vine: Why the Entertainment and Advertising Industries Must Converge to Survive." The book includes interviews with the likes of Les Moonves, Jimmy Iovine and Miles Copeland and carries cover endorsements from Harvey Weinstein, Mark Burnett, Kurt Andersen and Donny Deutsch."
The Corsair has noted this emerging trend in the magazine industry.
Out: Krumping. In tommorrow's New York Times Arts and Leisure section, Valerie Gladstone and Madonna's choreographer Jamie King chat urbanely about the urban dance phenomenon that has, by virtue of this very discussion, jumped the shark:
"Valerie Gladstone: What's the krump?
Jamie King: Madonna likes me to bring her the newest thing. The krump is very in-your-face, very angry and confrontational, with the arms spread wide in a threatening manner. My dancers told me about it. It looks like you're fighting. It's a way for kids in tough neighborhoods to express their aggression, without really fighting. That's what she and I like about it."
In: The new expose of the Bush Administration (how many are there?). The Guardian writes:
"A senior US intelligence official is about to publish a bitter condemnation of America's counter-terrorism policy, arguing that the west is losing the war against al-Qaida and that an "avaricious, premeditated, unprovoked" war in Iraq has played into Osama bin Laden's hands.
Imperial Hubris: Why the West is Losing the War on Terror, due out next month, dismisses two of the most frequent boasts of the Bush administration: that Bin Laden and al-Qaida are "on the run" and that the Iraq invasion has made America safer.
"In an interview with the Guardian the official, who writes as 'Anonymous', described al-Qaida as a much more proficient and focused organisation than it was in 2001, and predicted that it would "inevitably" acquire weapons of mass destruction and try to use them.
"He said Bin Laden was probably 'comfortable' commanding his organisation from the mountainous tribal lands along the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan."
Fuck.
Out:This juicy little blind item from the LA.com blog (via Popbitch):
"Blind items are the new black! Sandwiched among salacious gossip about Brits we've never heard of, Popbitch proffered this great blind item:
"Which TV and film actor didn't stay lonely when his actress wife went off to New York to film? The actor wiled away most of his time at the local Starbucks in Malibu and when the coffee shop wasn't open, took the 18 year-old waitress back to his place for "coffee".
"The headline was 'The Truth is Out There,' a hint so obvious that even those crybabies who complain in the comments section about perplexing LA.COMfidentail blind items will figure it out. Here's another hint: if this is the guy we're thinking of, he was a well known lothario before tying the knot."
That's so easy, I'm not even going to Duchovny it with an answer ... oops! My bad.
In: Is Drew Barrymore getting married to Fabrizio Moretti of The Strokes'? That's what that significant cultural artifact Star Magazine says:
"It was an emotional roller coaster for Drew Barrymore last week. First, the two-time "Angel" visited her ailing father, John Drew Barrymore, 50, at a Santa Monica Alzheimer's care center on Monday, June 7. It must have been a painful visit, because she left in tears. Thankfully her boyfriend of two years, Fabrizio Moretti, of the hot band The Strokes, was at her side.
"The tears soon turned to tears of joy when the lovebirds were spotted gushing over engagement rings at Cartier jewelers on Rodeo Drive in L.A. just two days later. On June 10, the newly-svelte Barrymore, 29, and Moretti, 24, were seen holding hands and being very touchy-feely in the store."
Hmmm.
And, finally, also In: Congratulations to Defamer.com for their first scoop, a doozy:
"We hear from a well-placed operative within MGM that Sony's rumored $5 billion purchase of the movie studio is a done deal. The news should be announced early next week. In the meantime, we can get back to our favorite pasttime: watching media conglomerates swallow up pieces of Hollywood in pursuit of the ever-elusive 'shitergy.'"
Way to go, guys.
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