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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Little Known Facts About Evan Bayh

Is Evan Bayh really a Centrist? True Centrists, to be sure, are politically quite wise and philosophically quite principled. They eschew the fringes and value compromise.

Does that describe Senator Evan Bayh? Or is he -- as many think -- a son of a politician (Not unlike Al Gore during his unremarkable Senate career but not so much now) who grew up acutely aware of the wedge issues that caused their fathers' campaign defeat? Is he seeking, above all else, to avoid take a stand on a politically fraught issue? In other words, is Evan Bayh's centrism deterministic, a masterful navigation of a second-generation pol seeking to never get caught on the controversial side of any issue on the example of his father?

Opinions, of course, vary widely. Evan Bayh seems like a mild mannered, God fearing Hoosier. He has been remarkably scandal-free. He retires without being scalded by any sexual or financial improprieties (no small feat in this day and age). Sure, listening to Bayh speak is less exciting than watching plants produce oxygen. It doesn't make him a bad person.

But how much do we really know about the Senator from Indiana soon to join the ranks of the underemployed? The Corsair has compiled a list of things that every voter needs to know about the man:

Little Known Fact: Evan Bayh's hair is not the enemy. The terrorists are. Just putting that out there.

Little Known Fact: Evan Bayh does not want to be buried in a pet semetary.

Little Known Fact: Those who have not known a good night's sleep have never attended Senator Bayh's Office Hours.

Little Known Fact: Nothing is certain but death and taxes and the fact that Evan Bayh will be on the "short list" as a possible running mate for the next Democrat nominee for President.

Little Known Fact: If Evan Bayh smoked, his brand would most certainly be Benson & Hedges. And it would be done in moderation.

Little Known Fact: If ever Evan Bayh wants to start a third party, you can be damn well sure it will be the most boring. Party. Ever.

Little Known Fact: "Evan Bayh Pulling Out" is the sexiest thing ever said about the Senator.

Little Known Fact: Evan Bayh makes everything quiet and not fun, but in an engagingly sincere manner.

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