Revenge of the Nerds

As George Soros alights the lambent flames of liberty 'neath the flabby asses of Central and Eastern European autocrats and Bill Gates stoops to conquer AIDS it becomes evident to us that the nerds, indeed, have had the last laugh.



(image via hnf)

And by nerds The Corsair means those science-mathematics Edge.org geek-freaks, the ones we never had time for except to, say, deliver the perfect wet willie or liberate from their lunch monies (The Corsair sips a meaty Madeira). Those geeks are now our Masters. And the geek shall inherit the earth.

How else does one explain those geeks from YouTube clearing a cool, crisp billion? The rise of David Itzkoff, sci-fi conch? And it is bonus season, that time of year when those Wall Street squids make more in bonuses that you or The Corsair will make all fucking year. To quote Edmund Burke, "The age of chivalry is gone.--That of sophisters, economists and calculators has succeeded."

Motherfuck! (The Corsair swings an impotent fist at the moon)

The Democratic frontrunners? Al Gore, the patron saint of all gearheads, and Hillary Clinton, with her perpetual air of valedictorian? Let's face it, homesl: Revenge of the Nerds has turned out to be the most poignant and prophetic films of the age.

Our President, clearly not a geek, once in the thrall of hypergeekish Karl Rove, is now firmly ensorcelled in the mesmeric gaze of James "My Middle Name is Addison" Baker, a poly-sci grind of the first goddmaned magnitude. And the next Secretary General of the UN is described as Decaffinated Kofi, if it was logistically possible to be geekier than than the impossibly mild Annan.

Even the music industry, once a playground for poets and hip ne'er do wells with astonishingly potent weed connects is being transformed, as we speak, by Steve Jobs' iTunes. Internet killed the video star.

Television? The technology better known as TiVo is rearranging that horizon, and on the programming side shows like CSI -- glamourizing forensic geeks -- and sci-fi/ fantasy hits like "Battlestar Galactica" and "Lost" prevail (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

The future of Hollywood? Think: Comic book tentpoles and hedge-fund geeks. The studios are backing the Spidermans of the world, and the hedge fundies everything else (Let's not even talk about the preponderance of CGI-techies). The obligatory appearance at Comicon has replaced the obligatory appearace at Cannes. One must placate the techno-virgins and "avids" from Aintitcool News.

Sports: The creepy-eyed Marc Cuban.

The Nerds have won -- you best believe it. You should have majored in chemistry after all.