Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Something about this picture suggests to me that at evenings end, she will be at his seedy walk-up, visibly shaken, and he will be murmuring in a thoroughly disgusting French accent from behind a greasy camera lense "Et-Vous .. Coco; et-vous." (image via thecobrasnake)



Hulk Hogan hasn't been quite as buff since he got off of "the stuff." (image via thecobrasnake)



"An' he just smoked my eyelids An' punched my cigarette." (image via thecobrasnake)




"I got the herb that's perturb! (Insistent) I got the weed that you need" (image via thecobrasnake)

Does Tom Ford Want to "Tart Up" Dakota Fanning?



(image via variety)

When not harshing on the mellow of the saintly Krucoff ("In Krucoff we Trust"), the patron saint of all New York bloggers, the Conde Nasties at Vanity Fair -- who, incidentally have an uncharacteristically African-American web-page -- are undergoing some Tom Ford drama (And, no, he is not creepily kissing up on the mannequins). Tom wants to "tart up" Dakota Fanning.

All Hell broke loose the last time The Corsair mouthed off on the D-Fan. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Damn, but you people cannot take a joke about Dakota Fanning. The Corsair got hate emails for weeks. Well, let it out on Tom Ford now, why don't you. According to fashionweekdaily:

"Sources inside the fashion halls of Vanity Fair, not to mention publicists at more than one luxury fashion house, have been abuzz over the apparent drama Ford is stirring up since editor-in-chief Graydon Carter confirmed his position as artistic director of the annual Hollywood photo portfolio, scheduled to bow in March.

"Specifically, Ford was said to have requested that the Vanity Fair fashion department pull 'really grown-up clothes' (translation: skin-baring dresses and platform high heels) for 12-year old Dakota Fanning, just one of a bevy of actresses he worked with. 'It�s one thing to have an artistic eye, but it�s another to be offensive,' said one source who worked on the shoots. 'It�s been an interesting adventure.'"

Sounds like it: "What�s also interesting is that sources are now saying that Ford�s guest-editing gamble might very well become a permanent venture at the Cond� Nast title."

The full story here.

Semi Exclusive: Will Osama Get Kicked Out of White's Club?



(image via tribuneindia)

We vote "yes." Throw Osama Bin Laden's grotty terrorist ass out of White's on 37 James's Street. But we don't get a vote. And, exclusive 250-year old British clubs are ultraconservative to the point of wacky (They's say "eccentric").

How else does one explain a club that actually has to go actually through a procedure to evict a scoundrel of a member who killed 3,000 Americans and hundreds of Britishers and lives -- if still alive -- on the lam in an Afghani cave as a war criminal? How?! (And, to whomever picks up this story off the blog: You can quote me on that; in fact, The Corsair insists)

But British aristocrats value loyalty, it seems, over logic and decency. According to Taki in TheSpectator:

"... Things are coming to a head at White's this week. Yes, its the same old story, the fact that Osama bin Laden is a member and those who put him up are in trouble with other members who were never told about him. Harry Laden, as we all call him, was originally sponsored by Sonny Marlborough and David Metcalf, not David Beaufort and Nicholas Soames as I wrote at the time. Metcalfe also sold Harry a life-insurance policy at a great premium. Although I am not in league with them, some new members want Harry suspended, but people like Lord Halfax say once a member always a member unless you go broke and can't pay the fees. There is a meeting scheduled at the Khandahar room at White's this Friday, but my guess is that Harry stays as do Sonny and David."

WTF?! Khandahar room?! British royals sticking up for Osama Bin Laden?! Is this some kind of a British joke -- like Benny Hill -- that dies during trans-Atlantic translation?

From a web site on White's:

"No doubt, he wouldn't have been invited to White's at numbers. 37-38, St James's Street, with its elegant iron railings and entrance lamps. Founded in 1693 as a chocolate house, this is the oldest London club, and the most famous. Indeed, White's is considered to be the model for every other gentleman's club in London."

(Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

How Deaf is Foxy Brown?



Inga, Nutty as an Almond Joy. (image via blackwebportal)

Perhaps when mention was made in court that Foxy Brown was "deaf," it was somehow misread by the press corps ("deaf," in urban parlance is a different kettle of fish altogether than "def"). According to those magnificent Page Sixxies yesterday, something rotten is going on in the state of Hip-Hop:

"FOXY Brown, who's on trial for allegedly assaulting a couple of manicurists, flipped out in the Signature Bank on Park Avenue the other day. The hip-hop artist ran into trouble trying to collect $2,000 in cash, said a source: 'She got abusive and started screaming. She cursed out a bank manager and humiliated this woman.' Brown might have been testy because she's having trouble maintaining her blinged-out lifestyle. Insiders say her business manager, Bert Padell, 'has been picking up her bills. She's broke.' Padell's office told PAGE SIX, 'There's no one here who can talk to you about Foxy Brown.' Meanwhile, talk of Foxy's supposed hearing loss is much exaggerated. After she fired lawyer Joseph Tacopina � who claimed she was 'pretty much deaf' � Brown picked up the phone and spoke directly with attorney Salvatore Strazzullo. It seems that Brown had no trouble hearing him to set up an appointment."

"Moxie" Brown.

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via usmovies1.yahoo.com)

In: Brad Grey. How gangster is Brad Grey? You're so gangster, baby! Everyone expected NBC Uni to get Dreamworks at bargain basement prices. David Geffen's "Dreamgirls" project finally has a stable home; we thought Sumner nixed the idea (2nd item), due to fears that -- according to Claudia Eller -- "shareholders and potential investors would balk at a major acquisition � DreamWorks is asking about $1 billion � at a time when Viacom is poised to split into two publicly traded companies."

Piffle. According to Claudia Eller and Sallie Hofmeister of the LATimes:

"The entertainment industry was startled Friday when Paramount Pictures swooped in and struck a deal to buy DreamWorks SKG, the independent movie studio that rival NBC Universal had spent six months pursuing, according to sources close to the matter.

"As recently as October, Paramount had publicly denied any interest in the acquisition after its parent company, Viacom Inc., balked at the high asking price of $1.5 billion including assumption of debt. But Viacom's board approved just such a bid Thursday, provided that outside investors help finance the deal.

"As of Friday afternoon, they still hadn't lined any up, but sources said investors would be selected after the deal's announcement, which is expected as early as Sunday.The acquisition would be a major coup for Paramount Chairman Brad Grey, the former talent manager who since being hired in March has moved aggressively to remake the struggling studio.

"It also would mark the end of a dream hatched 11 years ago, when three of Hollywood's most high-profile figures � director Steven Spielberg, music mogul David Geffen and veteran studio executive Jeffrey Katzenberg � set out to build a multifaceted entertainment empire. The sale to Paramount would leave the industry with just one major independent studio: Lions Gate Entertainment."



(image via tfaoi)

Out: Philippe de Montebello. De Montebello: The "voice that launched a thousand accoustigraphs" is surprisingly mum on the subject of looted art. But then, so is much of the so-called "Art Establishment." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) They always have been; so long as the Art gets into the hands of wealthy museums and private collectors in the right urban centers -- no one really cares from whence it came. (Averted Gaze)

Until now.

According to the Old Gray Lady:

"A decade ago, the Metropolitan Museum of Art embarked on a vastly ambitious project: the transformation of its dark and crowded Greek and Roman galleries into one of the premier spaces for antiquities in the Western Hemisphere.

"In 2007, the project will culminate in the opening of a huge colonnaded Roman court that Philippe de Montebello, the Met's director, has described as 'a grand orchestral coda' to years of work reinstalling the museum's classical collections. But as the project nears completion, it also threatens to become one of the Met's biggest headaches, forcing the museum to address difficult questions about the ethics of collecting practices."

Principal among those complaints, from Matthew Bogdanos' astonishingly excellent OpEd:

"IN New York, the Metropolitan Museum is considering what amounts to a plea bargain with Italian authorities for having acquired antiquities that Italy says were stolen. In California, the longtime curator for ancient art at the J. Paul Getty Museum has resigned to face trial in Rome on charges of conspiracy to receive stolen artifacts. In Iraq, a German archaeologist has been kidnapped by insurgents.

"Having led the United States investigation into the looting of the Iraq Museum in April 2003, I find none of these events surprising. Indeed, the patina of gentility we usually associate with the world of antiquities has always rested atop a solid core of criminal activity.

"But it's getting worse: in a modern-day version of the old 'molasses to rum to slaves' triangle trade of pious New England ship captains, the cozy cabal of academics, dealers, and collectors who turn a blind eye to the illicit side of the trade is in effect supporting the terrorists killing our troops in Iraq.

"Although most countries recognize the importance of preserving the world's cultural heritage, none have devoted sufficient resources to tracking down stolen artifacts. Most international cultural organizations are content to issue proclamations, preferring to hit the conference center rather than the streets. As for the art community, some feel that, while technically illegal, the market in purloined antiquities is benign- victimless - as long as it brings the art to those who can properly appreciate it (namely, themselves)."

More here. (You've got to read this; it's so fucking brilliant in its indictment of the staid "Art Establishment)



... Don't hate the player, hate the game. (image via oih.rwth-aachen.de/Hendrik Brixius)

In: Bill Clinton, Powerbroker. Read the international papers -- heck: Read the local papers -- and it's Bill Clinton all the time.

Clinton's roving, rambling international audition for the position of Secretary General of the United Nations is, one cannot fail to note, amazing to say the least. Wielding that forgotten phenomenon, American "soft power" -- a concept, incidentally, that the embattled Donald Rumsfed actually admitted that he didn't quite understand (How psychologically meaningful is that little factoid, peeps?).

Bill Clinton was a powerbroker in Montreal at the UN Meeting on Gas Emissions, according to the Old Gray Lady:

"Former President Bill Clinton sketched a route around the impasse that included gentle rebukes of those seeking concrete targets and also of the Bush administration.

We also know last week that Senator John Corzine consulted the former President and powerbroker on appointing Robert Menendez to fill his seat. He was involved, somehow, in the ever-shady Kazakhstan (We don't really want to know how, precisely; it sounds dirty, but ultimately, Realpolitik and within our interests), And, next Wednesday, Clinton quixotically visits possible Republican Gubernatorial candidate Tom Golisano -- WTF?! -- to catch a Buffalo Sabres game. We can almost hear those soothing Arkansan tones; tones that have seduced hundreds of poltiicans, saying: "Now ... Tom --I cancallyouTomcan'tah; Tom: 'Y'don't really wanna run for Governor under the Republicans, now do you?

"(Bites lip soulfully) They're just using you for your billions to fund their State Senate Majority, Tom. It's not right. They don't expect yout to really win; they're just using you, Tom. (Looks dead in his eyes) Not like me."

One area, anywhere, that Clinton has no apparent -- apparent -- influence is with his "Canadian special friend," the bewitching Belinda Stronach, who, controversially, crossed the Commons floor recently to the Liberals. Clinton said of the move to the London Free Press, "I heard about it when all of you did, and I was surprised ... So I had nothing to do with it." ((Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachement)

Still, These days the former President seems to have a hand in everything else that goes on at the highest levels of local and international politics.



Come on, Harv, flash us some "gam." (image via spietati.it)

Out: Does Harvey Weinstein Want to Remake Disney? The video distribution deal was smart. But not this new move. According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"HIDE your children � Harvey Weinstein wants to get into the amusement-park business. The hot-headed Hollywood heavyweight was huddling with Dan Snyder, chairman of theme-park powerhouse Six Flags, Joe Ravitch of Goldman Sachs and former ESPN exec Mark Shapiro over lunch at the Four Seasons the other day to discuss a possible project. A spokeswoman for the former Miramax godfather's new Weinstein Company would only say, 'Can you imagine how amazing a roller coaster would be if Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez collaborated on its design?'"

One, not so fucking amazing; two, we outgrew the urge repetitive, quick motion thing when we were, like, 12; three, what's with the Old Media fixation, Harv: There's a whole new digital universe out there to conquer. Even Disney -- if they had it to do all over again -- may have passed on the theme parks.



(image via gamespot)

In: Vandalism. The 70s are back again it seems: the feathered hair, the ... graffiti. According to Fashionweekdaily, Marc Echo is doing a film based on his new video game:

"Fashionweekdaily: The film�and your company Christmas card�are inspired by graffiti. When is tagging an acceptable medium?

�Ecko: When Mayor Bloomberg says so. Seriously, I do not condone illegal activities. I do, however, believe that when properly channeled�on canvas, through sculpture, through graphic design, film, etc.�the motif of graffiti can be considered one of the most compelling and influential artistic movements in modern history. It's all around us and has been since prehistoric times.�

Yeah, but the Paleolithic hunter was channeling the spiritual in his "graffiti," Mark. Is that an alien concept? That tribe might have been communing with the spirit of their foodstuffs before the hunt. That archaic artist/Shaman wasn't doing it for the "Fame."

Still, we will be duly intrigued about what Ecko does. But we'll avert our gaze at the video games: We cannot abide that low-attention span promoting, brain-cell killing degenerate medium. about the electronic anti-humanity of video games makes The Corsair's skin crawl.



(image via foxnews)

Out: Katherine Harris. Congresswoman Kathering Harris was going places in a hurry. She wasn't going to wait no matter who told her. She has an excess of what The Homeric Greeks called "Thumos," inflamed, no doubt, during the narcotic 2000 electoral process when reality took on the feel of a cartoon. Excessive Thumos is a particularly noxious personal characteristic disorder. If Harris, say, had waited until Rove-Bush were out of office, and the memory of her handicraft were past recent memory, she may have had the backing of the party leadership. But the flames of Ambition -- Thumos -- waits for no one.

The leaders of the Republican Party told her to hold on a Senate run (Harris has only served a couple of House terms; she is young) -- of course, Rove didn't want her to hurt the Republican Majority and was only looking out for the Party's interests against her -- she ran anyway. Now, according to our favorite Dickensian villain, Robert Novak, it's a bust:

"Republican insiders believe Rep. Katherine Harris, with her fund raising in the dumps and her staff constantly in flux, may drop out of the U.S. Senate race in Florida against first-term Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson.

"Harris became a national personality as Florida secretary of state, supporting George W. Bush during the 2000 presidential recount. With her campaign repeatedly turning over its senior staffers, Harris may not even raise $500,000 this quarter. A recent poll shows her trailing Nelson by 16 percentage points, leading some Republican members of Congress and state legislators in Florida to worry about their own re-election in 2006.

"A footnote: Some GOP fund-raisers believe Rep. Mark Foley may jump into the Senate race to replace Harris. Foley has $2.35 million cash on hand, compared to Harris' $470,000. Nelson had $6.5 million cash on hand as of Sept. 30."



(image via wachoviachampionship)

In: Congressman John Boehner. Tom Reynolds has taken himself out of the mix for a Republican leadership position; he will probably opt back in again when a Republican Majority seems more likely (Rumors have it that up to 50 seats are up in the air out of the Republican Majority in 2006; the Dems need just 15 to take control). The embattled Majority Leader and Whip, Blunt has one less competitor to worry about (As the Boehner-Blunt tensions rise). According to TheHill:

"Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) breathed a sigh of relief when for the second time in 13 months Rep. Tom Reynolds (R-N.Y.) said Tuesday that he would not mount a bid to move up the ranks in the House leadership, which could help avoid a bloody and distracting potential leadership battle when the House reconvenes in January."

And with Congressman Pence -- darling of House conservatives -- also out, Boehner has a clear shot at Blunt.

Will Taki Be Named Editor of The Spectator?



(image via weltwoche.ch)

Tory British MP Boris Johnson was, according to the Yorkshire Post, "last night promoted to the Tory frontbench � and immediately announced he was quitting as editor of The Spectator."

Stuart Reid will be interim editor, according to Boris Johnson's blog:

"Statement by Boris Johnson, editor of The Spectator, on joining David Cameron's shadow team:
"This is a fantastic job [Shadow Minister for Higher Education] and I am thrilled to be given the chance to do it. It is also a very hard job to do properly. It will mean a lot of time and thought.

"That is why I will be leaving the Spectator shortly after the Christmas edition has gone to press. Until a new editor is appointed, the magazine will be in the highly-capable hands of my colleague and deputy Stuart Reid."

According to Taki's High Life column in the December 3rd issue of Britain's The Spectator:

"And now for some good news. The powers that be have told me that I shall be named editor of The Spectator if Boris becomes a front bencher and resigns. This is only fair. I've been waiting for the top job for 28 years, seven proprietors and five editors. My first act will be to move Mary Wakefield's desk next to mine, lock the door and excercise my droits de seigneur. The next act will be to fire myself having excercised my rights. Well worth waiting for."

That is, of course, a politically incorrect statement. Taki has been accused of being everything from a misogynist to a racist. I met Taki several years ago, went to lunch at Elaine's on his bill, sat at his table, drank expensive booze deep into the night with him and his buddies (Chuck Pfeiffer, Christopher Buckley) and can attest to the fact that he is neither a misogynist nor racist.

Taki just really likes to speak provocatively; otherwise, he is one of the nicest media types The Corsair has ever met. We'd like to be the first to congratulate him.

You do your thing, Taki.

The Independent on Boris Leaving Media for the Bench here.

no posts today; working on an assignment. be back soon.

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via mobiletechforum)

In: Ross Levinsohn. The President of Fox Interactive Media is making all sorts of news at the UBC sponsored Media Week event. For one, NewsCorp is "listening" to proposals from several search engine businesses -- like Quigo. Also, Fox Interactive Media is expected to pull in $300 million --! -- in revenue next year, most of it online ads.

According to PaidContent:

"Yes, you're reading a lot about Ross Levinsohn here this week but that's what happens when people making news are in the spotlight at consecutive conferences ... I tried to get a picture with my nifty new little camera but the lighting wasn't right so you'll have to trust me: after his session at UBS Tuesday, Levinsohn was surrounded by the largest group I've seen this week for more than 30 minutes -- a symbol of the intense interest in what News Corp. and FIM are doing with their $1.4 billion investments (including retention deals) in MySpace.com/Intermix, IGN and Scout.

"... -- The deal between IGN and 20th Century Fox is along the lines of the deal the movie studio made recently with Movielink. Fox Digital Media manages the rights and licensing and negotiated the deal with FIM/IGN.

"-- The 'Family Guy' originals being created for online distribution also will be available via mobile. Pricing: Don't be surprised if the download fees for Family Guy and similar Fox video is $1.99. 'Wal-Mart sets the price,' Levinsohn said, comparing leaders in their respective markets. But Fox could try some variations like charging more for faster access, etc. 'You can play with some pricing schemes,' he said.

"Personal 'portals': During the session, Levinsohn showed a mock-up of what a future personal page could look like. The idea is for every page to be a personal portal of sorts. The plans for the concept, which will grow off MySpace.com, are not fully formed. For instance, the deicision on whether pages have to be public or can be limited access. Right now, he's leaning toward all public. It's at least six months away, possibly as long as a year. Fox.com: At the same time, he expects to have 'deep verticals across all of our businesses.' Fox.com may be the umbrella. Don't call it a portal, though: 'The notion of a portal is obsolete to me.'"

(Sniff,sniff) Excuse us. The full report here.



Sacrificial lamb. (image via cbsnews.com)

Out: Republican Drama. What is it about having such power that causes internal chaos within the Republican ranks? Drama!

Here in New York, there is a grand opera taking place. (Cue to the gentle plinkety-plonkety of Pleyel harspichords and viola da Gamba) Despite the fact that the Republicans have control of the State Senate, the Governorship and the Mayoralty of New York, Governor Pataki's eccentric vanity run for the President (Or, more likely: Vice; and, most likely: neither) has left something of a power vacuum in Albany.

Since, as Pascal said, Nature abhors a vacuum, Joe Bruno, the most powerful elected Republican in the State, and Steven Minarik, the most powerful unelected man in the state have rushed in to fill the void and stave off an expected Democrat landslide in the state the 2006 elections.

This split has led to the backing of dual candidates for Governor. Bruno backs charisma-challenged billionaire Tom Golisano, whom, inturn, he hopes will reciprocate with blank checks to the New York Republican party so that he maintains conrol of the state senate; Minarik -- a Pataki-D'amato crony who favors postprandial brandies and cigar smoke filled backroom deals -- backs Bill Weld, the intense, charismatic, copper-topped, former Governor of Massachusetts. The intra-party split has also led to the embarassing Pirro-versus-Hillary soap opera. Pirro should -- according to the rumors -- withdraw next week; though, if she decamps to an Attorney General campaign, look for the disgustingly aggressive former HUD Secretary, Andrew Cuomo, to tear her to shreds via her shady husband's biography.

Meanwhile, in the House of Representatives, Congressman Blunt's sheer fucking incompetence as Majority Leader and Whip as well as Monday's announcement that Tom DeLay's legal troubles won't be going away in the near future has led to some -- dare we say it? -- "drama" by the ambitious Representative Boehner, among others vying for a taste of power.

Curiously, the Conservative darling of the House, Congressman Mike Pence, who had a solid shot at Majority Whip, put his own ambitions aside and stepped down quietly for the good of the party; quite gentlemanly that.

And now, as if there isn't enough division in the party of power, there's Frist anxiety, even as former Majority Leader Lott, is angling, behind-the-scenes, for a greater role within the Grand Old Party.

Drama!



(image via thrillist via guy vasquez)

In: Thrillist. The Corsair has actually found TheThrillist quite useful in planning what to do in the city on any given night. They describe themselves thusly:

"Thrillist is a free email newsletter for guys in New York, exposing The City's most glorious bars, sporting events, services, gadgets and restaurants. Thrillist is the voice that keeps you plugged into everything new, unknown and underappreciated.

"Thrillist's goal is to create a network of undeniable greatness, write-up by write-up, delivered to your inbox 4 times per week. We refuse to post filler, or any of the other useless garbage that defines most 'cityguides.' For every recommendation we make, we've investigated dozens of alternatives, then ridiculed them fiercely for not living up to our standards."

We like; we really do. (Thrillist)



(image via theobserver)

Also In: Nabokov's Laura. We adore Vladimir Nabokov (We are still trying to catch all the multidimensional puns in Ada. or Ardor). We also like Ron Rosenbaum, when he's not writing about Yale Secret Societies. Put Naobokove and Rosenbaum together and you get his column today about the unfinished manuscript of "Laura" for the salmon-colored weekly:

"My Observer story put the focus on the apparently perilous situation of the manuscript, whatever Dmitri (now 71) decides. He told me that knowledge of the location of the safe-deposit box containing Laura (which he disclosed to me was in Switzerland) was limited to him and 'one [unidentified] assistant'�raising the question of whether the manuscript might be lost before anyone had a choice whether to burn or preserve it. I called upon some museum, foundation or university to offer a plan for its preservation and access for scholars. At the very least, get it out of the questionable confines of some bank vault. Banks have been known to be robbed, flooded or burned, after all. The locations of secret Swiss safe-deposit boxes have been known to be lost upon the death of their holders, due to the banking-secrecy laws there.

"And so it appears that once The Observer made his threat public, and the eyes of the world were upon him, awaiting his decision, Dmitri rethought words he may have uttered in haste or irritation. What he initially told me was that because of 'the repugnant atmosphere typical of current �Lolitology,� as he called it, 'I shall probably destroy it.' In the past, he�d spoken of consigning it at some point to a scholarly institution that would preserve but not publish it, and that would permit access to certain scholars. While it may have contravened his father�s wishes to destroy the unfinished work (maybe a third of a short novel), it was a reasonable compromise."

Ellis' Lunar Park: Optioned by Palm-Star



(image via informationleafblower)

Cinematical reports (link via Variety) that Brett Easton Ellis' laughably bad novel Luna Park -- which spawned a fake web site for the protagonist's movie star wife -- has been optioned by Palm-Star Entertainment, which, according to their website, "co-produces and co-finances independent films with budgets under $15 million." Astonishing. From Onion AV Club:

"There are some bravura passages in those early chapters: long descriptions of pre-teen bedrooms and private-school parent/ teacher conferences that document the peculiar stress of a modern childhood. Yet even when he makes himself the hero, Ellis has difficulty concocting a likeable lead. Though frequently funny, Bret Easton Ellis remains bad company.

"As for Lunar Park, it lurches from sharp satire to second-tier Stephen King�the latter most likely on purpose, since Ellis is excavating a personal literary past that includes an avowed pre-adolescent King fixation. He doesn't do 'pulse-pounding' well, though, and when he reaches for open sentimentality, he winds up looking like a dork."

Cruel, but fair. Our own review (August 24th, 6th item) was a little more bitchy by a whisker:

"Lunar Park could have been a fine book, but for some unknown reason, Ellis is obsessed with gore. He throws in some cheap haunted house gimmick which falls flat. Just as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho shocked -- shocked! -- the reader, so does the meta-Brett Easton Ellis, the author's alter ego, as he combats the forces of darkness in his haunted house. I can't even tell you how stupid it is. Ellis has a house haunted by a toy flying bat creature, a 'Terby' ('Y Bret' spelled backwards; don't ask). Was he smoking crack?"

From the Palm-Star press release:

"'We believed in Lunar Park so strongly that we put in a pre-emptive bid the very next day after it came to us', said Kevin Frakes, Co-Founder and Co-CEO of Palm-Star Entertainment.

"'We were in a bit of a battle, but it was personal for our company and we went the extra mile to close the deal.' Palm-Star has been fielding interest from producers, directors and writers, but are taking their time in packaging the project.

"'Lunar Park is the most personal book I've written even if on the surface it reads like a thriller. It took a long time to complete and Palm-Star has known about the book from the beginning. And they witnessed the usual complaints, anxieties, and excitement that occur when you're completing a novel.' Concedes author Bret Easton Ellis. 'Now it's their turn to move through that process.'"

No word yet on who plays Terby. We nominate Paul Giamatti.

Palm-Star press release here.

"But (Leonardo) Just Laughed it off"

(image via bbc.uk)

Even without the presence of the infamous "Pussy Posse" that terrorized the New York-Los Angeles corridor in the late 90s, Scorpio Leo DiCaprio does alright for himself. According to the 3AMGirls:

"SHE is supposed to be patching up her rocky romance with Jude Law. So what was Sienna Miller doing cuddling up to Hollywood hunk Leonardo DiCaprio?

"Sienna, 23, was spotted cosying up to newly-single Leo at New York club Bungalow 8 on Saturday night.

"Our spy says: 'Sienna was with some pals at the club, dancing and drinking. Then at midnight a scruffy-looking Leo appeared on his own and joined Sienna's gang.

"'She seemed very happy to see him and gave him a huge hug. They spent most of the rest of the evening huddled in a corner, chatting.

"'There was a lot of flirting going on. Leo didn't even look at any of the other girls. He would whisper in Sienna's ear, then they'd laugh together. It looked pretty cosy. At one point she tried to get Leo to dance, but he just laughed it off.'"

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Can The Corsair check your shirt label? We just want to see if you were made in heaven. (image via thecobrasnake)



There comes an awkward existential moment of modernization whenever someone still using the passe "high-five" is confronted with someone expecting the au courante "fist-to-fist." Especially if a girfriend is watching. (image via thecobrasnake)



Wait a second. Isn't Twister, like, supposed to be played on top of colored circles or something? Hello? (image via thecobrasnake)



This would be too easy. We decline on professional grounds. (image via thecobrasnake)

Joe Jackson Comes Out to New York Society



(image via NySocialdiary)

It's all so Edith Wharton. Or, at the very least, Whit Stillman. We always knew Joe Jackson was a debutante. Insisting on dancing lessons for the children? Check. An overreliance on cosmetic surgery? Check. Makeup? Checkmate -- Joe Jackson; all that's missing is the annoying lapdog.

Putting aside the rumors of alleged assassinating Michael Jackson's primate lover post-coitus (Averted Gaze), or -- even more unlikely -- the beating his son robustly with a "switch" (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)," Joe Jackson is "coming out" to New York sociaety. Our favorite social chronicler David Patrick Columbia writes in NYSocialDiary today:

"... I traveled a few blocks down to interior designer Geoffrey Bradfield�s holiday cocktail party. The invite called for 6 to 8 and I arrived about ten to thinking it�d be me and the stragglers. Wrong. The place was packed and the chilled bottles of Veuve Cliquot were making the rounds and making the rounds. Mr. Bradfield, the international interior designer only moved into this very large house a few months ago but as is his wont, it was done.

"... Among the likely suspects quaffing the bubbly were some new faces in this part of the forest: Joe Jackson also known to the world as the father of Michael, LaToya, Janet, Jermaine, Marlon, Tito, etc. Mr. J has offices here for his JJP, Inc. and his 'Worldwide Hip Hop Competitions' (http://www.hiphopbootcamp.com/)."

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via tomgpalmer)

In: Steve Jobs. As Apple Computer shares continue to ascend and Pixar continues to be popping, everyone from Playboy to NBC Universal is programming specifically for iPods (links via iwantmedia). It is not inconceiveable that a day comes when iPod network start ups pop up with short, low cost iPod programming. Steve Jobs is old school that way. Have we finally found a use -- as low-cost iPod programming -- for the "Shorts" category at Film Festivals? Up until this point, a "Short" film has as much societal use as Poetry (Averted Gaze)

But we digress. According to Stacy Kramer at Paidcontent:

"Take that, Bob Iger. NBC Universal sees Disney's bet and raises it with a major iTunes content deal: 11 primetime, late-night, cable and 'Vintage NBC' The lineup includes 'Law & Order', sketches from 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno', 'Monk', and 'Dragnet', 'Adam-12'. But the show that could turn out to be the real winner is Sci-Fi's 'Battlestar Gallactica', a cult favorite with a strong following. Consistent with Apple's pattern of standard pricing, the shows are $1.99 a download."

The cult hits, it seems, are the shows that are really going to win out in this new digital universe.
First the "Avids" at Comecon were hott, and now cult Sci-Fi programming -- "Lost," "Battlestar Galactica," and anything Joss Whedon, will soon dominate iPod programming. How to make Media Moguls: Relieve them of their lunch monies in High School.

The geeks, my friends, have truly inherited the earth.

A propos of nothing: Dave Itzkoff's fascinating story of Battlestar Galactica's cult hit standing here.



(image via ucalgary)

Out: "The Weedman." We caution Britney Spears to festina lente in navigating between K-Fed and his dealer.

It's a complicated thing, a man's first dealer. They're special. They're always there -- the bad times, the good times, the spotting you the odd bag when funds are low; the letting you know about the progress of "The hydro" and the "Chocolato," and the giving you the schwag at a discount price.

According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"THINGS seem to be going from bad to worse in the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline marriage.
Spears, who kicked her under-employed, party-loving hubby out of her Malibu abode last week, is now said to be 'furious' with her man and 'wants to punish him,' according to a well-informed source.

"A spy in Spears' camp told PAGE SIX, 'She is trying to repossess the $200,000 Ferrari she bought him. She is sick and tired of his partying ways and the constant flow of complete drug addicts coming in and out of her house.'

"The fight that led to Spears booting Federline from their home reportedly began over his having his 'weedman' � or pot dealer � over to the house and hanging around their newborn son, Sean Preston."



(image via i.tbs.com)

In: The Family Guy. According to Paidcontent (And, really-- What would we do without Paidcontent?), the buzzy Family Guy is going digital:

"-- Starting in 2006, Fox will produce original episodes of Fox animated hit 'The Family Guy' for the internet with distribution via MySpace.com, IGN's Direct2Drive and other Fox sites.


More developing from Media Week here.

Ingrid Sischy to Give Away Elton John



(image via digitaljournalist)

Will Interview Magazine score the exclusive story of Elton John's wedding to David Furnish? According to Jim Shi of Fashionweekdaily:

"While most of New York jet sets to Aspen or St. Bart�s for the holidays, Ingrid Sischy and Sandra Brant will be making a pit stop in England on December 29. That�s the day that the editor in chief of Interview is said to be 'giving away' Elton John as he officially marries his partner of 12 years, David Furnish.

"This comes after news that Great Britain is on the verge of signing a law that would legalize gay ceremonies. Expect an intimate gathering�John has said that it will be a private affair consisting of the couple�s parents and a few close friends�that certainly won�t be splashed across the pages of OK! or any other celebrity tabloid anytime soon. But given the influential Sischy�s close friendship to John, one wouldn�t put it past Interview to score the exclusive."

Or how about Vanity Fair, where Ingrid is a Contributing Editor?

Who is Victoria Lake?

As a Ugandan-born blogger we are intimately familiar with Uganda's Lake Victoria, but just who, pray tell, is "Victoria Lake"? A 70s porn star? According to Drudgie Poo:

"$1,845,034,000 worldwide and $600,788,188 are the all-time boxoffice records for a single movie, TITANIC, first released on December 19, 1997.

"Now roars along another December blockbuster, KING KONG, a film many top Hollywood executives predict will break the record! The movie opens wide as Victoria Lake next Wednesday ..."

Hey: Matt, is there something that you're keeping from us?

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

He finds the taste bold ... yet unpretentious. (image via thecobrasnake)



So fucking beautiful she could be a John Singer Sargent painting. (image via thecobrasnake)



In honor of his chemically-enhanced pompadour, Merlin "Bronques" was asked to be the official "Relaxer" of the party. (image via thecobrasnake)



Coffee, tea, or, wink-wink: Me ... what's that? Motherfuck--! You'll have the goddamned Espresso?! (image via thecobrasnake)

He doesn't like to be called a "kept man." Rather, he preferrs to be referred to gingerly as "old Frisky's Catfood." (image via thecobrasnake)

To Charlie Gibson, with Compassion



(image via abcnewsstore)

You're a good man, Charlie Gibson; keep that head up:

The Motherfuckers. Where was the love?

Here: Have a cold adult beverage, bro; you deserve it.

You've given nothing but blood, sweat and tears to the alphabet network, and they didn't regard you as worthy for "World News Tonight." Aint that a bitch.

As if that isn't bad enough: NBC announces -- obnoxiously -- that the "Today Show" has been number one for a decade.

Nice guys finish last, Charlie. Maybe you ought to raise a little heck, you know?

Everybody loves you. Sure, going out gracious like Koppel has its appeal.

But, keep in mind, you have leverage stronger than a contract. This is a definite Jane Pauley-Deborah Norville moment. If you want it to be.

According to Ken Auletta's New Yorker piece:

"Sawyer and Gibson seem genuinely to admire each other; both are rich, happy, and not leaving anytime soon. 'Charlie and I every few months wander into each other�s office,' Sawyer told me, 'and we ask: Is it time to leave?' In unison, they say, 'Not yet.'"

How now, Charlie?

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via jrts)

In: Lloyd Braun. If Yahoo! Media Group head cheese, the "well-connected" powerplayer Lloyd Braun has his way, Howard Stern's theatrical exit from terrestrial radio will be streamed live online by his company. Stern has been hinting about this for the past three weeks and it looks like it is going to happen. According to Broadcast & Cable (via paidcontent):

"Howard Stern is planning a ceremonial walk from terrestrial to satellite radio, and Yahoo! may be there to cover it. When Stern finishes his final show on Dec. 16 for Infinity Broadcasting, he plans to walk out of the building and greet fans and show regulars. While the event is still in the works, Stern has said on-air that he would like to host some sort of �surprise� or party for fans at that time.

"Yahoo! declined to comment for this story, but word is the company is interested in streaming video of the event.

"Stern�s connection to the Internet giant: Yahoo! honcho Lloyd Braun, in a past life as a Hollywood lawyer, represented Stern during the 1990s. The two are said to share a mutual admiration."



(image via spiegel.de via AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)

Out: Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. What?! (The Corsair spits up his 1962 Offley Boa Vista) Sulzberger is held in low regard in the Old Gray Lady's newsroom? Heaven forfend!

If the Chairman of The New York Times Company has to exit unceremoniously, will his stuffed moose (4th item) have to leave with him? Enquiring minds want to know, and all that. According to The Lowdown:

"Insiders at The New York Times are speculating that the fallout from the Judy Miller imbroglio will prove fatal to Times Co. CEO Arthur Sulzberger Jr. He presided over the paper's staunch defense - and then searing criticism - of his longtime friend Miller, the controversial Plamegate figure who went to jail rather than reveal her source, vice presidential aide Scooter Libby, only to strike a deal with the special prosecutor to testify about her dealings with Libby in return for her freedom. Vanity Fair writer Seth Mnookin - whose story Miller tried to have killed - notes that the buzz in The Times newsroom is that 'if Judy is the new Jayson [Blair], then Arthur is the new Howell' Raines, the executive editor who lost his job amid the Blair scandal. A Times editor tells Mnookin: 'I feel it's inevitable that Arthur's going to go, as I felt it was that Howell was going to go.' Of course, that's up to Sulzberger's relatives, who control the Class B voting stock."



Deal making; booty shaking. (image via house.gov)

In: Rahm "Rahmbo" Emmanuel. Rahm Emmanuel, the most intriguing ballet dancer-turned Wasington powerbroker (Averted Gaze), is on a tear. Big time. He's traded in his Tutu for legislative power suits.

Infamous for his brusque, on-message, no-nonsense manner, Rahm Emmanuel seems to embody the Democratic Party zeitgeist of "I'm-Mad-As-Hell-and-I'm-Not-Gonna-take-It-anymore." Like Hegel's Napoleon, the Democratic Party's Emmanuel is taking no prisoners as the Owl of Minerva hovers, menacingly. Chicago is Rahm Emmanuel's Jena.

While, as you may know, we think he sucks (We abhor the excessive partisan spin), we cannot ignore the "rib-busting ox-strength" he wields within the Party.

Has anyone ever come so far so fast within the Democratic Party? Taking over spinning duties during the Clinton administration from the elvin George Stephanopoulos (Emmanuel is a sort of dark, elvin alalog of Steph). Stephanopoulos, you'll remember, broke out in hives from his own ceaseless ambition, grew a beard to hide it; then, famously, exited turncoatlike the embattled Clinton White House for the greener pastures of the alphabet's perennially low rated "This Week," only to be shut out of his coveted "Nightline" talking head position. Nice. (Averted Gaze)

But we digress. Rahm-bo was of great service to the Clinton Administration, where he learned the dark arts of fundraising. Afterwards, Emmanuel carpetbagged his way into Illinois' prestigious, Eastern European-flavored 5th district (Think: the legacy of Congressman Rostenkowski and Daley), astonishingly beating out longtime Chicago pols. We have to adnit, that was fucking smooth.

From there, Rahm cut ahead of line (Emmanuel, the Democratic Party's "Hotspur," doesn't quite believe in "know one's place"), all shoulders-and-elbows, rising, aggressively, with all the sangfroid of a professional hockey player, to the rank of DCCC head.

Rahm is the "It" boy. What "It" is, though, we don't quite know. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

But it is interesting to watch what he becomes ...



(image via gatopardo)

Out: Gisele's Booty. Gisele Bundchen's Brazillian "bunches" are off limits. That's not really a problem for us, as we prefer our women to have a little "Arroz con pollo" flavor -- if you know what we mean -- on the rebound. According to British Vogue:

"GISELE BUNDCHEN has revealed that she has a clause in her modelling contracts so that she does not have to bare her bottom. 'I make a point about that because I don't want my booty [on show],' she says. 'I can't wear like a nun outfit, or something like that, but I make sure that they understand that my booty has to be covered. It's my booty and I feel like� when you're walking on the runway, God knows where they're looking. You're walking and all those people are there and the runway is higher. It's not that I feel self-conscious, it's that I feel like my booty should be shown on special occasions, for special people.'"

And who said Giselle wasn't a deep ground-of-being thinker?



Robert Redford at the Kennedy Center honors. (image via smh.com.au)

In: "The Sundance Process." Will Toni Collette and Timothy Hutton be the Prom King and Queen of this year's Sundance? Or, rather, will it be Ashley Judd and Paul Giamati? Whatever the case, one thing can be certain: The bar at Sundance will be, as always, too fucking small.

If you haven't already digested the Sundance selection process, John Clark of the Old Gray Lady lays it out like so. Sean P. Means of the Salt Lake Tribune laments the exclusion of Gretchen Mol, the misguided former nippleicious "It" Girl of Graydon Carter's imaginings.

Means observes:

"I would have bet you five bucks 'The Notorious Bettie Page' would be screening in Park City in January. The movie, starring Gretchen Mol as the famous pinup girl, seemed to have it all: A strong critical reception at the Toronto International Film Festival, Sundance alumni in the directing and writer's chairs ('American Psycho's' Mary Harron and 'Go Fish' screenwriter Guinevere Turner, respectively) and enough buzz to fill a beehive. But when the 2006 Sundance lineup was announced this week, 'The Notorious Bettie Page' was not on the list.

"... Where's Miss Sundance? In 1996, Lili Taylor appeared in three Sundance films. The next year, Parker Posey was in three Sundance movies. Christina Ricci did the hat trick in 2002, and Patricia Clarkson had four in 2003. Nobody comes close to that level of ubiquity this year, though several performers are double-dipping: Sarah Polley, Toni Collette, Paul Giamatti, Bruce Willis, Timothy Hutton, Tim Blake Nelson, Justin Kirk and Joel Edgerton. (No, I have no idea who those last two guys are - but by the end of the festival, I will.)

"The British aren't coming! Of the 42 foreign films on this year's slate, only six are from the United Kingdom - four in the World Cinema Documentary competition, one in the Midnight sidebar ('The Descent') "

Read the rest here.


and one in the Premieres ("Kinky Boots"). The World Cinema competition, where the cr me de la cr me of new international films will duke it out, has no British films.

And, while you're at it, Guess the Sundance entry here.

Lieberman to Defense? McCain Alliance?



... They know what Bush likes ... (image via threetwoone.org)

One of the interesting scenarios being bandied about during the Sunday chat show usual suspects -- McLaughlin, Washington Week in Review, Matthews -- is that Senator Lieberman, a hawkish Democrat, might be tapped to replace Donald Rumsfeld at the Defense Department. Respected CBS anchor and Face the Nation host Bob Scieffer's sources say if Rumsfeld goes, then Lieberman is "in."

This is intriguing stuff, as Lieberman is a former Presidential candidate and Vice Presidential party nominee. There is also blogosphere grassroots buzz that the moderate Connecticut Senator may face a Democratic primary challenge by angry progressives wishing to punish Lieberman's workings with the "Gang of 14." Lieberman's vote on Judge Alito to the Supreme Court will be something to keep your eyes on.

Senator Lieberman, as you may remember, was once considered as a Homeland Security head by the Bushies. If the Senator's "Joe-mentum" has been entirely exhausted within the Democratic Party (For further reference: see Lieberman's quixotic 2004 primary challenge as a Centrist), a career capper at Defense under Bush might be just what the doctor ordered. And, of course, it would make his mother quite proud.

At a Council on Foreign Relations event a few weeks ago for Gary Rosen's new book, Francis Fukuyama offered his thoughts on Rumsfeld. Fukuyama argued, intriguingly, at CFR that the bungling of the post-war cleanup in Iraq was due to the Secretary of Defense's highly personal "reading" of the Bosnia War. Fukuyama, to be sure, knows how to find the clitoris of a room full of Machiavels.

Bosnia, according to Fukuyama, had a great effect on Rumsfeld's consiousness; as a result, the Secretary of Defense, immensely averse to the prospects of a quagmire, prepared the troops -- ill-prepared the troops -- for only the briefest of sojourns. And then, as we all know, reality caught up with him. Blame Bosnia.

More interesting than a shuffling at Defense and the dark night of the soul Rumsfeld experienced over Bosnia, IMHO, is speculation that Senator John McCain may be draped with the diminished Bush mantle.

We wonder what Karl Rove -- a man who has no love of all things McCain -- has to say about this development. There are advantages to this for Bush because: a) McCain, an Iraq War true-believer, if embraced as the 2008 Bush legatee, would surely continue on to prosecute the Iraq rebuilding process, with great gusto, thus ensuring the Dubya legacy, b) McCain, with the Bush right firmly behind him and strong built-in moderate support, would be a lock for the party nomination and, ultimately, virtually unbeatable in the general election, c) McCain proved useful in 2004, working the moderates for Bush and *allegedly* turning down Senator Kerry's eccentric cross-party Veep offer in the thick of things, and, d) McCain's positive press from the admiring Chattering Classes would rub off -- somewhat -- on the President, who has not only abysmal approval ratings, but, what with the "propaganda" allegations, is facing mega-disapproval from editorial boards and newsrooms across the country at a crucial moment in his Presidency.

Of course, Karl Rove, McCain's arch-nemesis, who wanted to make -- with newly brought-in registered Evangelical Christians, aiming for a Conservative majority for the Ages -- would block this move (Or, for that matter, Cheney, the anti-McCain). Then again, if Rove and Cheney were to get caught up in the ongoing Fitzgerald leak probe ... their opinions on the matter might be ruled as irrelevant.

We liveth in curious times.

Guess the Real Sundance Entry



(image via sundanceguide)

Ah, Sundance. So ... PC; oppression is hugely represented here.

A sexy, left-of-center festival of "hopes and dreams," where nearly all of the domestic entries are set in a "small, Midwest town"

Three entries are fake, and one is real -- guess the real Sundance entry (No googling):

Dramatic Compettion/ World Cinema

"The Lucasie Family/Holland (Director Helmut Bitter) -- The disaffected albino family, the Lucasies were obtained in Holland by an impulsive PT Barnum during a visit to Amsterdam in 1857. He brought them back to America where they became one of his most popular exhibits. World premiere."

"Broken Dolls/ Japan-Canada (Director Kenzo Murasaki) -- Momoko Suzuki is a sweet young officeworker living alone in the conservative Wakayama Prefecture. At night, she poses for lurid S & M broken doll fetish photography to finance a trip to Dollywood, to meet her liberated heroine: Dolly Parton. The photographer, a broken man himself, tries to convince her to stay. World premiere.

"Songirds/UK (Director Brian Hill) -- Downview prison in England is host to 250 women who have commited crimes ranging from drug trafficking to manslaughter, but the women are mothers and caretakers. In a musical set in the prison, the women sing about their lives and crimes that led to their imprisonment. North American premiere."

"Ladyboy/ Thailand (Director Khao San) -- This is the gripping story of Katoey and Robert, one: a Bankok trannie and the other an Australian United Nations peace officer. A gripping journey of love, deception and betrayal with a backdrop of international intrigue. World Premiere."