Blondes Have More Funds

According to the 3AM Girls, Blondie's Debbie Harry can still out-diva today's whippersnappers:

"She's been in showbiz for more than 25 years and Debbie Harry still knows how to act the proper rock diva.

"The Blondie superstar, 58, scuppered an up-and-coming indie band's chances of supporting them on their UK tour because - wait for it ... the lead singer is blonde, too."

(The Corsair grabs his trusty bag on unsalted popcorn and, in one elegant sweeping move, leaps onto his chair, which, duly, wheels him to his desk and computer screen, to which he is riveted)

"M.A.S.S, who have drawn comparisons with Blondie, had been chosen to support Debbie and Co. at a one-off gig in Amsterdam.

"But minutes before they were due to go on stage at the Paradiso club, the promoter informed them that they could only perform after Blondie.

"A clause in a contract stipulated that no groups with a blonde singer could go on before them."

What the fuck?!

"M.A.S.S, which is fronted by Justine Berry and features Denise Van Outen's ex, Andy Miller from Dodgy, on lead guitar, were understandably miffed.

"'Maybe she was afraid of the competition,' fumes their manager, Andrew Winters. 'It was literally just before the guys were due on stage in Amsterdam that the promoter came up and told us there was a problem.

"'He said Justine is blonde so we couldn't go on because there is a ban on blonde girls supporting Debbie Harry.

"'I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At first I thought it was a joke but it wasn't. Turns out they didn't realise Justine is blonde because the band is quite punky and heavy metal. I was told there was a clause that stipulates this. Maybe she doesn't want the competition, who knows?'"

This makes the whole (The Corsair makes quotation gestures into thin air) "No Brown M & M's" clause kind of moot in comparison, no?

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Ed Note: Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm taking the day off from work and haven't decided if I will be too hung over to blog. So, don't take it personal if I'm not on. I'm just getting my Gemini on.